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  1. #1
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    since i'm new here, i'll post a general scenario we've probably all been in, and see what the general consensus is.


    suppose a client or visitor comes into work and tells you they dont feel well and might have to run to the bathroom at some point.


    1. is it rude to tell them about your emets and that it would be better ifthey come back another time?


    2. also is it detrimental to your progress of overcoming your phobia to tell them to leave?


    a separate question would also be, why do people go out in public if they feel n*,and why cant they make it to the bathroom sometimes? after all, you dont see too many people having d* in public. sorry to be rude. just curious as to people's thoughts.


    thanks and God bless!

  2. #2
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    Okay, let me tackle this:


    1) I don't think it is necessary "rude", but I do think that it is not your job to tell others to leave if they aren't feeling well, unless they are in your house. Depending on where you work, it may be necessary that they come in on that day, especially if it relates to a deadline, retail (especially food-related), or that they are so busy that is the only time available they have to come in. You don't necessarily know their circumstances, so you telling them to leave, in my opinion, is like saying your emetophobia is more important than any circumstance in this other person's life that meant she had to go into your place of employment. Although this person staying may cause you to be anxious, it is your problem, and not that person's problem.


    2) I do think that you telling them to leave would be a setback, as it is avoidant behaviour. You are allowing yourself to avoid a situation which would make you uncomfortable, which will likely make you even MORE anxious the next time you are faced with it. We come in contact with sick people, like it or not, on a regular basis. If you start avoiding everyone who mentions that they feel a bit off, you are just setting yourself further back. That, and it's pretty much something that you can't control. I bet you that you have come in contact with someone who felt ill today and didn't even know it- not everyone advertises. All you can really do is worry about yourself, and take the proper precautions to prevent yourself being ill. You can only take care of yourself, as it's impossible to avoid coming in contact with people who are ill.


    Have you checked out the Q&A forum? There is a sticky post where a microbiologist answered a lot of questions related to stomach viruses. It should help to alleviate a lot of anxiety, as these things aren't something you can catch just by standing next to someone, or breathing the same air.


    As for why people go out in public when they feel nauseous- you have to look at it from their perspective, not your phobic perspective. For someone who doesn't fear this, nausea is just an inconvenience, and doesn't always justify putting your life on hold. I only fear others vomitting- so when I am nauseous myself, I sometimes still have to go out and get things done, whether it be laundry, going to class/work, getting groceries, etc. To me, unless it's to the point where I can't leave the bathroom for more than 5 minutes, it's not a big enough deal to justify me not doing what I need to do.


    That, and I know with a lot of single parents, even if they are sick the kids still need to be picked up from school, groceries need to be bought, etc. With my friends, these things outrank their own discomfort.


    As for why people don't always make it to the bathroom- I know that for myself with diarrhea I get more of a warning, and it's easier to hold off until a bathroom is available. I generally always make it to the bathroom when sick, but everyone's system is different, and not everyone gets a lot of advance "warning" before it occurs. That, and people who vomit very infrequently may not read the warning signs correctly, and it ends up as more of a surprise. I doubt that anyone wants to vomit in public, or not make it to the bathroom- but sometimes it really can't be helped. In situations such as this, please try not to blame the person, as they likely didn't want this outcome either.


    I seriously think that people reacting badly to someone who vomits in public, especially if they are a kid, can be one of the events that can put people on the path of becoming emetophobic themselves. The shame, embarrassment, and idea that they did something "bad" can stick, and make them focus on the event, and fear it occuring again.


    Hey- I see that you're new- welcome to the site!


    oh, and you avatar is hella-cool


    *amber*

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  3. #3
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    ahhh such wisdom! are you really a phobic, crimgoddess? or are you sent here as some sort of angelic messenger for us all?


    (lol - great advice...thanks for that)
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  4. #4
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    Hahahaha- Thanks Sage


    I am truly phobic- but recent volunteer experiences have shown me that, as much as I would like it to be.....the world does not revolve around me and this phobia. So, when I am in a situation where I am extremely uncomfortable, I have to keep telling myself that it's my problem, and I have to deal with it- and not to blame the person that is sick, or start with the "well, why did they go out anyway?" or "they shouldn't have done this". My thinking patterns are at fault, not the person.


    *amber*

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  5. #5
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    Yes, yes. The thing is, though, that when you're in the throws of the phobia big time, it's really difficult to sort of "see out" into the world that regular people live in. I also used to think, "WHY do they show vomit scenes in movies?" Now...on the "other side"....I know why. Because 99.999% of the people on the planet aren't emetophobic! They show way more snakes in movies and TV - the poor blokes with the snake phobia. I also once heard of a guy afraid of small cups and saucers. Sounds nuts, but he asked "WHY do they have to show them on TV", etc.


    I always tried to make sure my kids knew that "it was my problem" and not theirs, but I never used to understand why "sick people" would go out. Now I do - it's just no big deal to most people.
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  6. #6
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    Quote Originally Posted by darthvader

    ETA: My answers are right after the bolded questions.....


    since i'm new here, i'll post a general scenario we've probably all been in, and see what the general consensus is.
    suppose a client or visitor comes into work and tells you they dont feel well and might have to run to the bathroom at some point.
    1. is it rude to tell them about your emets and that it would be better ifthey come back another time?
    Well, with the case of it being work, I would have to say that its not really your place to tell someone to leave. If it were my home, then yea thats different (like say a friend wanting to visit who is ill). BUT we are talking about a work</span> environment. I think that the decision of if they should leave is up to the client/customer. For instance I work in a fabric store, and a lady came in and came up to me and was like "can I have your restroom key? I ate at Red Lobster and may have been food poisoned", I mean I couldn't be like "no go away!" I just had to hand her the bathroom key, and had to help her when she came out of the bathroom to look for fabric.




    2. also is it detrimental to your progress of overcoming your phobia to tell them to leave?</span></span>Well, the thing about this question is we aren't all at the same stage. Say if you are VERY phobic and the slightest mention of the act throws you into a panic attack then I don't think its detrimental because you simply cannot handle it at this point and time. In a work environment where you couldn't exactly tell the customer to leave, then in this case maybe have another person step in to help.

    If you are in the stages of the phobia where you are able to get through things higher on the ladder of emet-hierarchy, (tho you could still be panicked and scared) then I do think it would be detrimental to overcoming the fear to not handle the situacion yourself.

    a separate question would also be, why do people go out in public if they feel n*,and why cant they make it to the bathroom sometimes? after all, you dont see too many people having d* in public. sorry to be rude. just curious as to people's thoughts.</span>


    I've sometimes wondered this, but I figure they don't let feeling real nauseas stop them from doing things, and sometimes the consequence may be that they lose it occassionally. I guess it differs with people on how much a threshold of withstanding physical discomfort they have or something. Then there are also cases where the person can't afford not to go out and do things despite not feeling good or being sick. I guess to us it is more an issue simply because we focus on it so much.





    thanks and God bless!
    Edited by: Galadriel

  7. #7
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    wow guys, excellent insight. thanks for opening up new thoughts for me. i think you guys hit some really great points.
    part of the cure is wanting to be cured

 

 

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