Well that was a mistake

[xroofusx]

So i came out and said to my mum about liking girls aswell, and now she won't even talk to me. Then my dad found out and got really angry and stormed out and he won't even look or go near me. So i have to be unhappy for the rest of my life? and keep my feelings inside, thats how im being made to feel..i really wish i hadn't said anything now..[img]smileys/smilies_16.gif[/img]..sorry for the mini rant..

[spilled_milk]

Oh dearie.


Ugh i don't really have much advice having lived in very liberal places all my life and having many gay and lesbian friends...I dont know how you could deal. Do you have any friends that are going trhough the same thing that you could talk to? Or maybe you could find a support group online, my friend belongs to one on livejournal.com.


I'm so sorry!! I hopoe you feel better and that your parents will eventually come around...


<3 Anya--

[violet]

Hey hun,

Coming out to your parents Really takes alot of guts also it takes them a long while for them to understand how you feel, they cant always understand your own feelings even if they have been through it, its all different for everyone else!

Im sorry they didnt take it well hun, but its better to not keep it inside, I did or far to long, good to be yourself!

Take Care

x

[katsamsmom]

I am not a lesbian.....but from experience with friends and families....you have to be true to yourself. you have to be yourself. you will be very unhappy if you cant' be the real you. You might hurt people in the long run...but at least you are being "real"


Good luck!

[californiagirl]

Everyone has good advice here, and I just wanna say also that you need to live for yourself. I know having your parents' approval and blessing is important, but if they hold your lifestyle against you then you need to become independent as soon as you are able to and live how you are happy. It took alot of guts to tell them that, and should be respected for it. I wish you the best. [img]smileys/smilies_01.gif[/img]

[suze]

I agree that it took alot of courage to communicate your feelings to your parents, and I really admire you for that. Their reaction is not unusual, nor is it likely to be permanent. You have given them a shock but at the end of the day you're their daughter and there is a good chance they will be supportive of you in the end. Californiagirl makes a good point about independence - you're still very young and rely on your parents for almost everything. It won't always be like this. In a few years time, even sooner, you'll gain your independence and will live your own life. Your parents will still influence you, but not in the ways they do now - it will be your life and you will make the decisions about how to live it.


It's your life and you need to do what you can to be happy. If your parents see you happy then you can change their opinions. They may never understand, they may not really agree, but hopefully they'll accept you because ultimately they want you to be happy. There are many of us on here with kids and I guess we would all say that of everything our children could possibly be or achieve, most of all we would wish them happiness.


It might not seem it right now, but you have done the right thing in saying how you feel and I have massive respect for you. Good luck.

[xroofusx]

Hey! thank you so much for the replies and support it means a lot to me thank you[img]smileys/smilies_01.gif[/img]. Sorry i havn't been on for a few days,so thats why i didn't reply. Well at the moment, i think there just trying to ignore it and my mum says its a phase and i'll grow out of it, but in my own heart i don't know if thats true. But they havn't said anything more about the situation, so maybe thats better in a way. Thanks again everyone[img]smileys/smilies_01.gif[/img].

Ruth x

[Melikasa]

Well it may be a phase and it may not be. I have had 2 friends that went through it one is bi and the other grew out of it and is engaged to one heck of a nice guy. It may be hard for your parents to accept but you know they will come around because they are your parents. Sometimes you have to try and see it through your parents eyes. They can maybe see themselves as failing as parents because of this. With Gays and lesbians being a fairly new stage in social atmosphere it is hard to accept as I am sure it was in the states with interacial marriages and relationships and now it is just accepted. I am not sure if I am making sense but all the matters is that you follow your heart and know that you are being true to you and you have not lied to them or yourselves. That you felt comfortable enough to tell them now because you love them and yourself.
Take care and best of luck with everything.
You can't tell your heart who or who not to fall in love with.
Melissa

[katsamsmom]

i do not feel like it is something you grow out of....sure you may change your mind and be with a guy....but you can not help who you like and who you fall on love with!!!





you need to get in touch with an organazation in your area about this. if you need help email [email protected]

[kristin1980]

Thats not right for you to keep your feelings inside to yourself..


i am so sorry hun but sometimes you cant make everyone happy.. but you have to make yourself happy first even if this means starting a new life and maybe not talking to your parents for a while. This may sound harsh but with therapy i have come to realize that the decisions i make .. even though my parents dont like them .. i need to keep those decisions because they make ME happy. My dad doesnt understand this and we dont have a good relationship now at all. We barely talk but you know i would rather have that because anytime i do talk to him he makes me feel like everything is my fault and i dont know what i am doing.. and pretty much puts me down for everything and i realized ENOUGH allready! I dont care what you think anymore.. all you do is make me feel bad and make me into a person i am not! and even though you say i am not.. i AM a good person!


sorry lil personal rant came out in that one! hehe.. but what i am saying is dont be afraid that you told them these things. Its going to be wierd at first but things will settle.. give it some time. Keep yourself happy right now.. its important for yourself and your health!


hugs!

[xroofusx]

Awwww thank you for that[img]smileys/smilies_01.gif[/img]. They havn't said anything about untill i told them, so maybe thats for the best. But thank you for your words. I know that i can't always make everyone happy, even though i try lol. Thank you[img]smileys/smilies_01.gif[/img]. *Hugs*

Ruth x

[HDogg]

You're a teenager, right? I think when you're a teen and your hormones are all out of whack, it can be very confusing. There was a time, when I was 18 or 19, that one of my (male) best friends "came out," and I questioned my own sexuality. I thought I was attracted to one of my best (female) friends. I really felt strong feelings toward her. Looking back, I realize it was almost more of an idolization thing. She had the life and personality I've always wanted. Plus, I genuinely thought she was beautiful. And with my confusion and hormones running rampant, I was sure I was bisexual. Now, as a grown woman, I am 100% sure I'm straight. And that's fine with me.


The same or opposite could be true for you. I think, as a teenager, you have a strong leading one way or another about your sexuality, but until you really get out of puberty, it's hard to say for certain. I wouldn't label yourself just yet, if you know what I mean. Give it some time to get "sorted out." In the meantime, let your parents just kinda "chill" and absorb what you've told them. I'm sure in another year or two, you will know for certain, and then maybe you can try talking to them again. Then, you can really let them know this isn't a "phase" you'll grow out of.


I hope I made sense. Take care for now, hun. [img]smileys/smilies_01.gif[/img]

[kristin1980]

I think thats a big problem for me too.. i try to make everyone around me happy before myself.. i am worried about how everyone else is.. and how everyone else is feeling.. i rarely take time for myself or buy myself anything..


I am learning in therapy that i need to do that now for my self esteem.. which i dont really have any.. hope to get some soon!!


take care hun


hugs!