am i wrong for defending my freind?

[kristin1980]

So ok.. my best freind is like a sister to me and i would DO anything for her..


and as some of you know she got pregnant and around that time her fiance left her too, and then a week later finds out that the pregnancy is tubal and she cant have it and has to have the surgery on her birthday.. out of all the days.. and he is all strung out on pills and drugs and on and on.. ok so her fiance.. is freinds with my husband.. so thats the sticky situation.


Cynthia (my bestfreind) had called Chris (ex fiance now) and let him know that something was up since she was having some cramping and only spotting,(PLUS hetold her he WANTED to have kids with her and didnt care if she got preggers when theywere together, sorry that was a rant)..anywaysso she tells him she is going to go to the gyno to find out whats up.. she tells him the night before what time the appt was...AAAANNND does he call the next day or even the next week for that matter to check up on her or to see what the results where?!?!? NO.. and my husband tried calling him a couple times but he never called back.. anyways to make a long story short i got fed up and sent him a kind of nasty .. but at the same time respectful e-mail.. but then things went bad he started saying bad things about my marriage and about me.. it got out of hand and now my husbands friend hates me pretty much and thinks im a b*tch.. but oh well.. i had to do it.. cuz cynthia wouldnt talk to him cuz it hurt her too much that he didnt seem to care..


anyways so by doing this .. i got cynthia to tell him and then he freaked out on her telling her it prolly isnt his and all this crap and then that he couldnt talk to her cuz "she lied" about it.. whatever.. its not like she can keep it nowanyways.. and she wanted to.. so it kills her!


so i have maybe made a freindship for my husband and him not soo comfortable but am i the "bad guy" for doing this? like he is making me out to be??????


sorry for the rant! ..


[img]smileys/smilies_12.gif[/img]

[christianne]

How completely awful!! I am so sorry you are stuck in such a situation.
Unfortunately, I think when couples are friends with other couples there is a possiblity of situations similar to yours happening, and they may find themselves forced to take sides.
Cynthia, however, is your best friend, and I think best friends are so incredibly important. I don't know her ex-fiance or anything, but honestly he doesn't sound like that great of a man. I mean, leaving someone while she's pregnant??? Oooh, don't get me started!! And then questioning if it was his??? I despise men like that.
I think you definitely did the right thing--you were defending Cynthia when she needed someone on her side. She's gone through hell, and you were there for her. You sound like a truly great friend, and she's lucky to have someone like you beside her.
As for your husband, if he and Chris are really that close they'll survive this. You know how men are! However, (not to attack him or anything) I WOULD question his choice in friends. This Chris guy sounds like a total jerk!! Especially if he is saying awful things about you and your husband. Hopefully your husband will realize that you actually kind of did him a favor.
Hope this helps you feel better--take care!

[tcsarah]

I really don't think you have done anything wrong here at all. All you have done is support a friend and try and point out to her ex how badly he has been treating her. This man sounds like a pretty insensitive, uncaring guy and your friend is probably better off without him in her life.


I hope it doesn't cause too many problems between you and your husband. Just agree to differ where this man is concerned.


I hope your friend is ok too, she is going through a lot, but I'm sure she'll get much comfort from knowing she has a really good friend like you around to help her through.

[hedgehog]

You gotta sick by your friends no matter what and so I totally think you did the right thing!!

Do you know what - I hate men...what a complete A*HOLE this guy has been to your best friend...I tell you what I think you have been quite reserved about the situation as if it were me I think I would have completely flown off the handle!!!

Your friend is so much better off without this jerk holding her back!! She will find someone better to fall in love with and eventually have children with him and it will be perfect very much UNLIKE her situation now with her ex!! God I cant even imagine what she must be going through right now! Did her ex even give her a reason for leaving her? Because you see this is what I dont understand - you cant just wake up one morning and not be in love with someone...it takes time - therefore how far gone was your friend in her pregnancy? I am assuming not long so why did this guy allow this pregnancy to happen if he knew his feelings werent the same - knowing full well he would have left her on her own with this baby?????? This guy does NOT deserve to have babies with your friend and maybe this was Gods way of trying to tell them both this - in time your friend will meet the guy she is meant to have babies with and everything will work out!

I am very sorry for the rant (I know they arent even my friends lol) but it just makes me so so mad that guys can treat us this way!!!!!!!! And taking it out on you Kristin is really not fair!! My advice?? Let the loser rot in hell!

You were just being a good friend hun and dont you forget it!! You are what Cynthia needs right now! She is lucky to have at least one good thing in her life!

Jen x

[rubysoho120]

I totally understand where you are coming from and Im sure I would have
done the same if not MORE. I'm so sorry you and your friend have to go
through this...I hate people like that.

[daffodil]

I would've done the same as you. I think it is admirable that you stuck up for your friend. I hope things get better for her. She is lucky to have you as a friend.[img]smileys/smilies_01.gif[/img]

[kristin1980]

Thanks for all your kind words of encouragement.. its really great.


Well today she talked to Chris and he is all pretending like he cares all of a sudden and asking her if there is anything she can do to keep it and if anyone would have his baby he would rather it be her than anyone in the world and blah blah blah.. i mean give it a break she is going through ENOUGH ALLREADY!!


He is still really mad at me though but i really dont mind.. he is my husbands freind .. but they havent been that close in about 3 yrs.. Chris lives about 4 hrs away from us. So they arent as close at they used to be and my husband does NOT remember chris being like this when he knew him.. its just sad..


what i dont understand is why her doctor had her listen to the heartbeat yesterdaywhen they damn well knew that she wouldnt be able to have it.. that was totally unfair and just ridiculous to me.. and made things alot worse and harder for her.


*sigh* thanks for listening.


this whole is so sad.. she wants more than anything to have that baby

[tayda]

I'm so sorry for your situation, but you did the right thing. (at least I think so). ANyway, he sounds like a wicked Jack a**!! As long as things are still going well between your, your hubby, and Cynthia, then it is ok... right?