Want to start enoying life again..

[tootsieroll]

Hi everyone, I am recently starting to feel better, finally... I was doing really good with my whole v**** phobia but then I got pregnant and at 7 months delivered a stillborn baby. It was the hardest thing I have ever had to deal with but since then my phobia has been acting up horribly, I cannot go anywhere without having gravol in my pocket and a bottle of water. I was having nausea everyday and completley lost my appetite, probably partly due to depression and to do with the anxiety that I may v****. I am feeling a lot better as time goes on but now I am completley paranoid that I am going to be sick. It's the weirdest thing because when I actually was feeling nausea everyday I tried everything in my power to not think about it and now that I don't have it all the time I worry about situations that may cause me to have it. But all that aside I feel I am doing better and I am starting to socialize a little more and not staring everyone down making sure they are not about to v**** lol.but tonight I kind of want to make a decision.... My boyfriend wanted to have a couple beer tongith and I have been wanting to for soo long now, just sit back and enjoy, but with my phobia all out of wack I think that it will instantly make me sick. I do no that this is not true because I used to drink and be fine but am very nervous because it has been almost 2 years since i last drank. I really hate how this phobia stops me from doing the things in life I actually want to do, as I am sure all of you no the feeling. But I don no for sure it does get better because when I was a kid, from like 7 years old I was terrified of it, and I made my mind believe that when my mother wasn't around I would be sick (of course that is because when I didnt feel well she was the one to reassure me I would be fine) so any time my mother wasn't there of course I was going to feel sick because my mind had so much power. I couldn't even eat a lot of days just as a child, but as time went on, i got out slowly and just forgot about "I may be sick" I was still terrified if someone was going to be sick or that I could be myself but just stopped avoiding my life and it helped. But latley it is hard to remeber that it does get better because it is such a powerfull fear. But anyways, I am sorta of looking for reassurace on weather I should drink and just face what may come or wheather I should not and keep avoiding... oh my what life would be like living without this.... sorry for this being so long I am just a little anxious.. any stories or any relations would be appreciated.. thanks xxoo

[chicajojobe]

My advice is that you just have to keep trying to do things. Go out over and over and over again. Even if it isn't fun right now, force yourself to do it so that you'll get more comfortable and it will get fun. If you go out once and end up freaking out. don't give up. Just go out again another time when you're feeling better. You might start with something like going out for coffee, and sitting in the shop while you drink it. Or browsing at a bookstore for a few hours. Even going for a walk can get you used to being out.

As for going out for drinks, I don't see any reason why you wouldn't be able to do that. Since you haven't drank in a long time you should take it slow, yes. But one beer won't make you drunk and it certainly won't make you drunk enough to v*, so there's no reason why you can't go out with your boyfriend and just have one drink. Sip it slowly and, I know this may be hard for an emet but it's very important, make sure there's some food in your stomach when you have it. That will slow down the absorbtion, so that the alcohol won't hit you as fast. Plus if you drink on an empty stomach you're actually more </span>likely to v* from the alcohol.

Good luck.

[mommykimmie]

I'm so sorry you're having a hard time right now. I have no real words of advise I just want you to know that I'm here to listen and give my support. I do agree with getting out and doing things, slowly do more and more. Good Luck-Kim

[tootsieroll]

Thanks so much for the replies [img]smileys/smilies_01.gif[/img]... I am really setting a goal for myself to start getting out there more. I mean chances are if I am going to become ill it will happen wheather I am home or not. It is just to convince my mind that. Surprisingly I did end up drinking last night and just took my time and I was fine. To me that sort of felt like a huge step in the right direction. but thanks for being there guys [img]smileys/smilies_04.gif[/img]

[glitta_fairy]

What really helped me a few months ago was to push myself a little further everytimeI felt ready for it, and to have as many positive experiences whileI was out as possible, to show myself that it's not so bad.Once you know that you can be happy doing that, keep building on it. I was practically a hermit 6 months ago, and now i'm finding I can go out alot more often- day and night- andusually without feeling anxious at all. Just take small steps hun- and remember that it will start to get better.


*hugs*


Kayla