Dreadful experience...

[juliet]

Today during my psychology class, we talked about taste aversion--that is,when people avoidthe foods theyate before vomiting or feeling nauseated because they now associate the taste with getting sick. You can probably see where this is going.


When my emetophobia and anxiety "peaked" last year, I developed an aversion to food in general. Every time I started to eat something, my mind would convince me I felt nauseated and I would have to stop. It got to the point where Iwanted to cry everytime I tasted, smelled, or sometimes even when I thought about food. I quickly losta lot of weight, thought my lack of appetite was a symptomof a deadlydisease, and, because I couldn't imagine these horrible feelings ever going away, felt hopeless and disgusting.


So I'm sitting there in psych, having powerful memories of that experience and feeling upset enough. But then the TA asks people to share their experiences with taste aversion.After listening to classmate after classmate tell stories about throwing up various foods, I decided I had to get out of that room. So I got up and walked out--I'm sure everyone noticed--and went to the nearest restroom.


I sat down, concentrated on my breathing, and kept telling myself "Iam very healthy right now...my stomach feels good today...these are just feelings...these feelingsare temporary...I can control my feelings..." I also stared at the floor tiles, arranging them with my eyes into soothing designs. I managed to keep my anxiety below the level of panic, and after about seven minutes, I felt better. I planned what I was going to say if anyone questioned me. I decidedto tell my TA, because she has a masters degree in psych and is likely to understand the truth, so maybe she wouldn't let our class discussions dwell on vomit in the future. I also needed to catch up on any notes I'd missed. And I decided to tell anyone else I'd had an important phone call.


So I head back to class, feeling a bit nervous and embarrassed. And guess what happens? I come back to the room to find it COMPLETELY EMPTY. The class and the TA are gone, and so is their stuff. Only my stuff remains at my desk--including my laptop which no one had stolen or tampered with, thank God. I don't know whetherthe class ended early or ifeveryone hadgone on a "field trip." But I just left, not knowing what to do...


Yuck. Great. Now my stomach is starting to feel upset...Edited by: juliet

[Galadriel]

Aww Juliet I'm sorry that had to be tough. You handled it well tho, just getting your thoughts together in the bathroom. Sometimes I have to do that too when faced with a tough emet situacion. You know tho that the stomach discomfort you're experiencing is just from this class, not because you are sick or anything.

[christianne]

Hi there!!

I'm so sorry you had such a bad experience in class--it got me remembering about a psych class I also took years ago. We talked about the exact same thing--how some foods we dislike as adults (and don't know why) may be because it made us ill or v* when we were younger. My instructor also asked us to share our stories and it made me feel panicky as well. I can even remember almost everything my classmates said--from pringles to chicken soup to fruit roll-ups. It was horrible, and my classmates thought it was hilarious and went into great (and disgusting!) detail.
You handled yourself very well--sometimes everyone has to take themselves out of a situation to be able to breathe a little. And like Galadriel said, I'm sure your upset tummy is just because of all the stress that you went through.
It sounds like your TA could be very understanding--you could always explain what happened before your next class. I'm sure she could be very helpful!
Take care!