another dating issue

[Babydoll]

I seem to have these issues happen weekly, even though I never post about them.warning... might get long!


anyways, I started seeing a guy a few years younger than me about a month ago - things were going great. The only really bad thing about it ( or good, however you want to look at it) is that we live on the same campus, he's one floor above me... so we spend alot of time together.


this last weekend he came to " talk" to me. I knew this wasn't going to be good - he said he just can't handle a relationship right now. He was really good about the whole thing and I think he's acting mature.


the thing is, I still have feelings for him. I knew it was a bad idea to start dating him since we pratically live together, but I figured I could handle it if anything happened. I didn't think I was that attatched.


Right now I'm trying to act like we did before we started dating.. keeping the talk light, and trying to look at him as a friend, cause he is a good guy. But, when I look at him, I just want to be with him more than anything.


Its hard since the whole house does activities together, so I see him like everyday. there's also a girl on my floor who flirts with him and hangs out with him constantly ( she has a boyfriend).. and it drives me completely insane!! I don't think I have ever felt jealous before untill now.


anyways, just a bit of a vent. thanks to those who have read.. any words of wisdom? Im starting to wonder if I'll ever have another long term relationship.

[rubysoho120]

how old are you hon? I'm 21 and dating a 19 year old boy, and i found
it really hard to adjust to...but we live together and love each other
and things are moving towards marriage. All I can say is i know the
search is rough, but maybe the time for you two just isnt right. Did
you see if he just wanted to be friends or even date but not bf gf? My
bf tried to "run away" from out relationship tons when we were first
together...but he came around when he had time to himself he saw that
there wasnt anyone but me. So there is hope. I wish you luck hon.

[tcsarah]

I know how difficult that sort of situation can be, that is, when you break up with somebody you still want to be with and have to keep seeing them all the time. I had this situation when I broke up with my first true love. He worked at the same place as me so I kept bumping in to him and it cut me up each time.


There's no easy way around this situation, you just have to give it time. Your break up is still really fresh so you are bound to be hurting right now. He is still young and may have got cold feet about heading into a serious relationship and may even change his mind about your relationship when he's had some time on his own.I think you are doing the right thing keeping things friendly with light chat when you see him, well that's what I would do.


I know it doesn't feel like it right now (our confidence is always at a low when we go through the break up of a relationship) but you will have another long term relationship one day, and there is somebody out there who will make you really happy one day. It took me several serious boyfriends, onefiance and reaching my thirties before I found my perfect guy!


Stay strong, you can get through this. Take care x

[hedgehog]

I dont really have any advice right now as I am going through the same thing - only slightly different...my guy left me for another girl. But I still love him so I know how bad you are hurting!

Guess I just wanted to say that Im thinking of you and I hope you feel better soon. PM me if you ever need to talk.

Jen xx