About childs...

[sweetanya]

Everybody around me is still asking me why i don't want childs. My mom really want to have grandchild and i'm her only child so... You see... My boyfriend also really want child...Not immediately, but in about 4 or 5 years... I have a lot of friend who already have childs... But how do i say to everybody tthat i don't want child because i'm too afraid of having pregnancy nauseas, or to can't be able of taking care of the child if he's sick? It's the first time that i talk about that. I always kept that in my head, and repeated to people that was asking to me why i don't want child that i don't like childs....Even if it's not true... t's the best reason that i found.... But what if a say, my boyfriend want to quit me because he really want child and i can't have some because of emet? Please, anybody, help. Is anybody other like that?


Marie

[kmarie]

Yes..i understand what you are saying


You have to do what is right for you. If you are not ready for a child then that is ok. WHen people ask just tell them that you feel you are not ready to have a child yet.


If your boyfriend leaves you because you arent ready for a baby then perhaps hes not the right man for you. But make sure he knows the real reason why you dont want a baby!!

[Jenneh]

maybe u shud be honest, wif ur boyfriend at least? so then, he can work thru some treatment for emet with you, and mayb at the end, ull have enough confidence to have a child?


i can undertand the sticky situation ur in. altho iv never been there myself i kow of others who wud say exactly the same as you.


Jen xxxxEdited by: Jenneh

[buttercup]

I also felt the same as you. I have always wanted children, but was afraid because of emet. I got pregnant with my son when the condom failed (I was afraid of taking birth control because I heard it could make you sick...it's a vicious cycle). I expressed to my doctor that I was concerned about morning sickness (didn't tell him the real reason, said I didn't want to miss work) and he said it was mind over matter and he was right. I had my normal anxiety related nausea, but that's common for me. Emets are very good at controling v* and it's no different when you're pregnant.My problem didn't get any better, but it didin't get any worse either. Also, my son is two and has never gotten sick yet. I still worry a lot, but atleast it's not something that happens very often. Another plus, something I wish I had done with my husband, if you tell your boyfriend the truth about your problems, I'm sure if you have children and they are sick he will take care of them for you.


This is your decision to make, and you should wait as long as you want even if thats forever, your boyfriend will just have to understand or you'll have to find a boyfriend that will understand. Just please don't let emet control your decision to have a baby if you really want one, I can't imagine my life without my son, even though it's hard sometimes.

[sweetanya]

Thank you buttercup. I think it's the thing that i'm the most afraid to talk about with somebody. I'm terrified about that. But thank you for your advice...Anyway, i'm not ready NOW to have a child, but i'd like it later...I still have some years to think about it.....

[charity]

Marie,


I love kids a lot. I think they are wonderful, but like you, I would not want to clean up after them or go near them after they get sick. But when a child is sick, they need Mommy most. So I know they would feel bad if I neglected them. That would be so unfair to them. I decided that I will only be ready to have childrenwhen I can mangage this thing and not go crazy when they get sick on their bedsheets at 2:00 AM. That will be tough to do.I am in my mid-twenties and I want children just as much as anyone. You should keep seeing the psych AND tell your boyfriend. Make him understand! The good news is that there are ways around emetophobia. You can manage.


Monica

[2jo2]

I think the two people you need to be honest with right now are yourself and your boyfriend. He has to know where you stand on the children thing, because you certainly don't want him to resent you years later because you don't want kids and he does. AND you don't want to have kids just because someone else wants you to have them. You'll find that parents will be supportive (most parents) whatever your choices are. My parents and my husbands parents really want grand children too, but they aren't coming from us, and I think they've come to terms with that. I'm just not a kid type person, so it's a combo of that and emet. If you really want to have kids, don't let emet hold you back. I think as humans alot of our instincts in protecting our children will come in to play and you'll do just fine, just be true to yourself.

[Melikasa]

I wish I had something helpful to say to you about this. I know that honesty is the best policy. I NEVER wanted children but then I fell in love with the man I am now married to and there was nothing more I wanted than to express my love even further.
I took the plunge and I can't say that I wasn't scared but there are meds and lots of non med things that helped me through it. THere were days when I asked myself "why me", but I would be willing to do it again.
Not everyone gets morning sickness though and morning sickness doesn't always mean you will be sick. Some people will say morning sickness but it is really just a nausea that can be cured by eating, satisfying a craving, crackers, ginger ale.
Anyways I had also been on meds for about a year at that point too and I am sure that that helped as well.
Be honest though and explain that it is something that is hard for you. Maybe even impossible. If it isn't something you are talking about now but for future who knows how things will be for you at that point.


Just from my experience though I have to say don't let emet ruinthis wonder for you. It is truely the best thing that could have happened to me. He is an angel from heaven. Because of him I am getting out of the house now even more because he LOVES to go out and usually because we need something. He has only been sick a couple of times and it is making me stronger.
[img]uploads/images/Melikasa/3D7_0728_002.jpg[/img]

[buttercup]

Ahhhh.... your little guy is adorable!!! I would post a picture of mine, but I'm not very good w/ computer stuff and don't know how!!

[sweetanya]

Thank you everybody. It makes me think about a lot of things. You help me a lot.