Anybody know about Psychology?

[ltaylorb]

Hi I need someone to talk some issues through about my mom, my head feels so fuzzy, I had a rreally rough time with my mom the past 4 years and now that I'm away, everything feels so constrewed and I really could use someone to help and listen to what I need to say, let me know, thank you SO much!


Lauren

[hippychick]

Hey, I'm pretty sure anyone on here would be happy to talk to you, but what I would really dvise is maybe looking into some therapy. I'm not sure whwre you live so how it would work there but there is only so much any non professional could do online for you. Not to say that talking it through with just people wouldn't help.

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[Babydoll]

I am currently in my 3rd year of my pyschology degree, but that doesn't mean I'm even close to being a doctor. Though I do love to listen!


there are a few others on here, crimgodess and sage both coming to mind. Sage hasa PhD in psychology, if Im not mistaken, and crimgoddess is well on her way to getting there.


we're all a bunch of good listeners and we all have good advice if You would like some.


I have to agree with hippy, that if you want some professional help, its best to go through your GP and find a clinical psychologist that you can speak to one on on.

[ltaylorb]

Ok, so here is by big huge confusing dilemma.


I had some serious probems with my mom, she was emotionally abusive and physical, and when I was younger, she wasn;t quite as bad, but was never there with work. EVery since I was younger I was very emotional, I insisted that I lay in bed with my mom everynight holding her hand and laying VERY close, it was the only way I felt comforted. Anyway, things got hard cause she was never there and so I started developing these "crushes", (these are not sexual)on older females and wishing that i would be hugged or comforted by them, I wanted to be taken care of and liked, I wanted there attention, it has never gone away and with some pretty severe s*** happenung only two years ago, I am still doing this maternal transference thing about random females who seem like they care and would listen and give me a shoulder to cry on. It scares me becasue I am sort of an untrusting female so It is frightening when I all of a sudden have these very intense feelings of wanting this random person to comfort me as my mother would. Its strange, I just feel very alone, and I was starting to think it was transference but I'm not sure. I have sort of an Ambivelent style when attaching to males/boyfriends, basically I don;t think it will ever last because they can;t possibly love me type of thing,I also tend to get a bit jealous, Anyway, this scares the bejesus out of me, this whole transference thing, please can u tell me what might be going on.

[Babydoll]

it sounds like you have attatchment issues that started when you were young, for some reason or another. attachment to a parent is very important for a child, and you said you felt abandoned by her. Its only normal that you would try to "fill" her place with other important females ( ie, mother figures)


This can affect attachmentin laterrelationships you have with boyfriends, friends, etc. You're always trying to fill that gap she left, or you never feel like your worthy of being loved.


I think if its something thats really bothering you, you should talk to your GP about it and he/she will give you an appt with a professional.


they can help you deal with abandonment and attatchment problems.Edited by: Babydoll

[ltaylorb]

Thank you so much, and I agree. I am started counseling next week, it is something that I really need to take care of and quit waiting for it to disappear.

[sage]

Yes, I'd advise long-term therapy. You'll never resolve attachment issues in 6-10 sessions. This is transference, I'd say...and that's a good thing. But in all cases of transference you need to work through it with a caring and competent therapist. If you don't, you'll "look for love in all the wrong places" the rest of your life. You need to work through the transference with a person who cares about you, whom you can attach you AND who has clear boundaries - meaning they're not trying to get anything out of YOU. There are no such relationships outside of therapy, and a perfect mother/infant bond.


The best of luck to you! (I had serious attachment issues too, btw, but for me it was men after losing my father at age 9. I finally worked these through by age about age 38 (I'm 48 now)