My boyfriend /death metal/disturbing

[ginger_saves]

I love my boyfriend and we have been together for a year and a half. There is one thing that does seem to make my emetophobia rise--the music he listens to ( death metal-we are complete opposites) always have disturbing images on their cd's or on their website graphics ( they leave comments on his myspace page). I was so mad because today I went on his band's myspace page to take a lookand another band left a VERY graphic image on their page!!It looked like something from ogrish.com ( i don't recommend anyone go there-someone sent me a link to it once and I was horrified at what I saw).I was so mad because these people alwaysdo this and it doesn't bother him. Everyone into metal seem to be cool with blood, guts, gore, etc...If there are any metalheads on this forum, I am not looking down on you, I am just saying that the majority that I have met at his band's shows are really into getting drunk and joke about v* the next day ( ugh!!!) I felt so n* all of a sudden. My boyfriend knows I am scared of v* and n* but I have to have a serious talk with him about this. ( now that I know there is a phobia for this). I just need advice on how to handle this because it is a part of him and he lives fordeath metal music ( disturbing images, music, everything) and I cannot change this about him. I just need advice on how to be able to tolerate it without feeling n* or anxiety like.I hate to be reminded of death and to me, it's everywhere when I am in his bedroom.

[violet]

I myself listen to death metal and grindcore which yup both can have some images that are disturbing, so I know where you are coming from there.

But, what you need to just ask him is to not have them in your view, the music is very emotional and give off a persons style with it, some dress different some dont but one you get past the images its good if you like that sort of stuff, anyway rambeling..

Just see if he can be more respectful in that area[img]smileys/smilies_01.gif[/img]

[ginger_saves]

I myself listen to death metal and grindcore which yup both can have some images that are disturbing, so I know where you are coming from there.

But, what you need to just ask him is to not have them in your view, the music is very emotional and give off a persons style with it, some dress different some dont but one you get past the images its good if you like that sort of stuff, anyway rambeling..

Just see if he can be more respectful in that area[img]smileys/smilies_01.gif[/img]

Hi Violet [img]smileys/smilies_01.gif[/img]How are you feeling by the way?


Grindcore!! Oh god, I have heard that. How can you listen to that? (hahaha) That sounds like major v* type of singing. It's very gurgley sounding. I think that was also something that triggered it when I heard one song he played and I was reaching over for the ginger ale quick!! But yeah, I'm gonna talk to him tomorrow about this and hopefully he understands.

[violet]

Im doing alright hun, pretty late over here so should be sleeping but ahh well the life of an emet huh!

Yes by all means do what makes you feel better, some of the songs can be quite bad on the throat im sure..

Try listening to it in bits as well, like ease yourself into it so you dont get a shock if its on, small parts of the songs, then switch it off when you feel you have had enough..

Like exposure therapy on music lol

x

[new.slang]

Have you talked to him about it? Hope all went well. Hmmm...I don't really like hardcore- I listen to really mellow alternative. The "hardest" thing I listen to is ska. [img]smileys/smilies_01.gif[/img]

[ginger_saves]

Hello Violet and new.slang.I did end up telling him about my emet and he seems to understand and will help avoid me from seeing things that are disturbing. He did his first job of that 2 nights ago but helping me avoid seeing a photo of adecapitated person in a car accident on a band website. THANK GOD! I hate heads and v*-I have a head phobia,too!! Oh boy...anyway,I can handle anything but the real ogrish.com stuff that people leave on his band's page ( occasionally). This is the worst part though- 2 days after explaining to him my emet problem he wentto celebratehis friend's birthdayand he got so sick. He had alcoholic poisoning and v* twice!!!!!! luckily I was not at his place. He v* on his carpet!!!!!!!. He asked me to come to his house to be there with him and I damn near froze and starting feeling SICK!I cried to him and told him that I could not...He assured me he would not v* again and I drove over and gave him water and kissed his head and started crying because I told him I can help him but I CAN'T!I was praying it was not a sv at first but in a wierd way i was relieved that it was just an allergic reaction to vodka. He is a beer guy but his body can't handle the hard stuffanymore.Anyway, that was a horrible day. That was 2 weeks ago I believe..ugh...I was so scared.[img]smileys/smilies_06.gif[/img] Edited by: ginger_saves