Hi there, havent posted in awhile. Ive been trying to "ignore" my emet,
as I have been working a lot, and I MUST. Well, I started taking XANAX
again last sunday. Im slowly working my way up so I can take more than
one pill a day. Im at half a pill a nigh right now. Makes me very
drowsy in the morning, but at least I Dont have trouble sleeping!

Anyway, Im hoping that will help solve my problems... at least a
little. But just now I was surfing the web on a community site and read
someones post saying they had chills, vomiting, fever, ect and I felt
all panicky. [img]smileys/smilies_06.gif[/img] I feel so stupid. Also
at work yesterday I overheard two coworkers talking about previously
waking up at night feeling nauseous but not vomiting. I didnt want them
to think I was weird for standing by so I kept walking, didnt hear the
rest of the convo, and worried over it.

There is a possiblitiy I could get the full time position at work that
is opening up soon, but if I did, I am extremely worried about my emet.
I freak out at work. I am especially afraid of using the phones, as
that is how I got norwalk one year. My boss had it a few days
previously, and he is ALWAYS on the phone, and I HAD to answer it when
it rang, and I think thats how I got it from him [img]smileys/smilies_11.gif[/img]
cause I came down with it that night. I feel like bringin wipes to wipe
the phones but theres SO many phones nd its SO busy, id look so
odd too. (its a department store for goodness sakes)

Anyway Im just rambling. Im just really worried my problems will get in
the way. However if I DO get full time I think I can afford to see my
sociologist again from time to time. Maybe with meds and EMDR and CBT I
can beat this. I HATE THIS PHOBIA!!! [img]smileys/smilies_07.gif[/img]

I also want to go to college in new york someday if I can, but IM not
letting this stop me from doing that! The only thing stopping me is.. I
cant leave my boyfriend behind[img]smileys/smilies_06.gif[/img] gotta figure that one out yet. But it wont be emet stopping me, darnit!

Anyway thanks for reading my rambling, I really needed to talk to someone who understands..