Let Me be ME!!

[Galadriel]

Hey all,


Doesn't it anger you when people try and change who you are, I mean something that is fine, and that your just not into what they are, and yet they think your weird or theres something really wrong with you because you won't do what they do?


Well, my dad and his fiance are really driving me nuts. I have made it clear that I am not the kind of person to get out there and socialize, its just not me, and i would rather sit and read a book, and I am fine with that. Instead they push me to "get out there" and dad has said some pretty hurtful things to me about it. Well, they want me to get a part time job (plus college fulltime) and I mean thats ok (I just hope i can handle it all) but like dads fiance wants me to so i get out there and socialize. Well Ive got news, I'll go to work, do my work, and come home, just like I do with college. Same thing. Shes going to have to learn the hard way that I am not changing who I am just for her. Belive me I have tried to force myself to "get out there" and its just not me, and thats fine. It would be different if I was misreable like that, but I am quite happy and content to just come home and read a book or talk to William or something. I mean whats the harm in that?? Do they want me to "get out there" and act like a fool flirting with every guy that moves?? Thats what her daughter does, and it makes me sick. Do they want me to get out there and ruin myself doing what mostkids my age do (drugs and such)? It just really angers me. Of course no one questions their life or how they act. Lemme say that my dad, he doesnt really socialize with anyone either. In all honesty the extent of his socializing is anything to do with his fiance. He doesnt get out there and party or anything, so why should I?? Its fine when they do that, but me, Im ridiculed, questioned, called names, man Im really getting upsetby all this. People and their double standards reallytorkme off.

[Jenneh]

awww galadriel.


do you think maybe they want you to "get out there" cause they think it will help you? my parents went thrui a stage of that, they thort my anxiety wud go if they forced me out. but it didnt work. obviously.


so, maybe do u think u cud hav a quiet word with ur dad, and say, look, its not going to help. i am who i am. let me be who i want to be. ur dad's fiance, shudnt hav nething to do with it. ur not blood related, she cannot tell YOU what to do!


i dont know if its possible for u to talk to ur dad but i cant think of nething else u can do, other than just keep being stubborn and hoping they wil get bored!


Jen xxxx

[Galadriel]

Hey Jen,


Well I have tried to tell him that I am fine and that this is who I am and that Im okay with it, but he just insists there must be something wrong with me and that its not healthy and that Im screwed up. Geez. Your right, his fiance shouldnt have much to do with it, shes not my mother or relation to me, so she should mind her business.

[sweetanya]

I don't know exactly what age you have, but since i'm about 15 and that my emet is very strong, My parents always tell me to go out, to make me forget all the bad things that i have in my head. Since that i live with my boyfriend, and that i'm now 20, he says to me the same tyhiongs than my parents. And he don't know about my emet....So....I think he just worry about me... Maybe your parents just want the same for you...

[Melikasa]

I remember your last posts about your dad. I do think that it is unfair to want people to change, but I think it is hard as a parent especially when as a parent you never truely know whether your child is being straight forward.
My parents were convinced I didn't want to socialize with the outside and accepted that ok but when I didn't want to go out with them they threw a huge guilt trip on me about being embarraced to be with them and that maybe they shouldn't have had me when they were so old that I was ashamed of them....They didn't know and I didn't know that I had emet or even social phobia.
The doctor just labeled me with anorexia because I was soo skinny and not eating. I suppose it was in a way but I was also scared to eat because I was afraid i was going to be sick if I did.
Parents are complicated creatures. I am suprised that since your dad and his finance know about your emet and they know you are FINE with just being at home that they don't just let you be. It isn't like you are shutting yourself away in your room doing dark antisocial things.
I still haven't any idea though how you can approach and cinvice them that what you are like is ok and there is no problem with not wanting to get out there and be with a bunch of friends. UNless it was a matter of you WANTING to go out and just being afraid to, THEN they could work with you on getting out.



Sweetanya I think it may be a good idea to tell your bf about what is going on with you. Especially if he is being compassionate and worrying about you. He may better understand what is going on when something happens to you away from home or something.