You might be an emet if...

[johnlp]

In the spirt of Jeff Foxworthy......


You might be an emetophobic if..


You own a medical book that is dogeared on the chapters about Gastroenteritis.


You can recount that dates, time of day, what you were wearing and the top song on the radio the last time you v*


If having to choose between dying or v*ing you have to think it over!


You seem to be a magnet for people who want to discuss the severity of their sv* and how it is the worst they have ever had it; all while invading your personal space!


You refuse to eat the food you last v* even if the event was over 30 years ago!


In pubilc you scan the faces of every man, woman and child to see if they look ill!


Call in sick when you know there is a sick worker at your office.


You have a check list to enquire your childrens friends with regarding the current state of health of their family and if they have been v*ing in the past 48 hours or presently feel like they might v*!


You have banished your childrens frined from your house when they said their "tummy hurts"!


You wear a medical braclet that states you are a"DNIV" (Do Not Induce V*)





OK, now your turn! Let's laugh at our phobia and get through this Holiday Season! [img]smileys/smilies_01.gif[/img]

[chemicalemotion]

LOL!


You're an Emet if...


You completely mutilate the food your mother slaved away on for a day with a fork and knife, inspecting for any detection of undercooked meat.


You crush the hand of your boyfriend or girlfriend that you're holding as you walk past a stranger who is leaning over, looking slightly pale.


You shake handswith a coworker who had been sick two days previously, smiling politely, then flee to bathroom where you vigorously wash your hands a dozen times, causing people in the proximity to stop and stare at you, eyebrows raised.Edited by: chemicalemotion

[californiagirl]

HEHE--funny stuff, I can TOTALLY relate!


Here's some more:


You might be an emetophobic if..


You check the current inventory of Pepto Bismol and Immodium AD at the store, which would indicate how much "stomach ickies" are going around.


You are the only person checking out the sidewalks and parking lots, able to spot any suspicious V* spot that no one else can see with the naked eye.


You are afraid that if you say "I hardly ever get sick or v*", that the horrible V* -- cursed lightning bolt will crash down on you and make you v*.


You analyze any growl or gurgle in your stomach, in which other people just consider hunger or normal digestion sounds.


Etc., etc., etc.

[kellybean]

You own every stomachmedicine ever made!

[tootpla]

You might be an emet if...........


Your walking home on the coldest night of the year and you see a pile of v* in front of you....instead of walking around it, you hold your breathe and take the long way home.


You would rather be walking home on the coldest night of the year in the first place, rather than share a taxi with someone who has been ill/drinking


You check the experation dates of food constantly, even the day after you buy them, and if it's one day past you throw it out.


You get superexcited when you see an advertisement for a lifetime supply of ginger, dramamine etc...

[marycontrary]

You might be emet if:


You check your temperature everyday, sometimes every 10 minutes to make sure you don't have a fever. (You might even do it secretly at work or home to keep people from thinking you are nuts! lol) My BF does not have emet, but he will take his temp everytime after I do to see what his temp is so he can say he is "hotter" than me. lol. Now that the thermometer is a common item on the coffee table in our apartment, he likes to check the temp of his hot chocolate, his iced tea and his food. I think its hilarious. I am afraid that if I leave him unattended with the thermometer long enough he will try to check my cats temp too! LMAO!


You order some food, knowing you are starving, only eat half of it to avoid over eating and then just sit there and stare at your food while you drool over it because you are still hungry. I do this all the time. it is such torture but I would rather still be hungry than over eat and have a panic attack afterwards because my tummy is too full. Sometimes though, I find it might be worth a panic attack depending on the food, for example, if its chocolate cake. lol

[christianne]

You might be an emet if.....

You're on a plane and during turbulence the only thing you worry about is yourself or someone else v*ing, while you don't worry about the plane crashing one bit.

After picking up your child from school, instead of asking him or her "How was your day?" you launch into an interrogation to find out if anyone in their class or school was ill and what was wrong with them.

You absolutely despise someone that says to you "It's going around!!"

Being tortured and having hot pokers shoved in every body orifice is more enjoyable than taking your child to a birthday party at Chuck E. Cheese on a saturday.

You can hear the ONE person in a large crowd of people that mentions the word v* as if they were standing next to you, while they're on the other side of the room. And you turn to look!Edited by: christianne

[katsamsmom3]

if you ask your kids how many were absent from your class....


Did you wash your hands today?


does your tummy hurt?


and on and on and on and on

[chicajojobe]

You eat everything with a knife and fork...including toast and pizza.

You believe that there's no way sushi could taste good enough to be worth risking vibrio poisoning!

When you read John's thing about the medic alert bracelet you wondered if they actually make those. (Do they?)

[ginger_saves]

you all are cracking me up!! very funny post![img]smileys/smilies_32.gif[/img]

[calibmom24]

This is so funny!!! It is sad but I do most of them!!! ~Brandi~

[sherbear]

Me too, Brandi! And Charlene, I also get worried when the salespapers start advertising all the tummy medications. I always think they wouldn't be in those flyers if they weren't in high demand.

[worrygirl]

if you ask your kids how many were absent from your class....


Did you wash your hands today?


does your tummy hurt?


and on and on and on and on

My dtr hears those questions daily!!

[katsamsmom3]

i know...they are so sick of it....lol

[californiagirl]

You might be an emet if.....


Being tortured and having hot pokers shoved in every body orifice is more enjoyable than taking your child to a birthday party at Chuck E. Cheese on a saturday.

!

LMAO!!!!!!!!!

[californiagirl]

Me too, Brandi! And Charlene, I also get worried when the salespapers start advertising all the tummy medications. I always think they wouldn't be in those flyers if they weren't in high demand.

Oh I know!!!!! When I cut out coupons and they have Immodium and Pepto ones, I feel that I will be "jinxed" if I cut them out!!!

[bandnerd]

You might be a emet if.........


You can get in and out of a public bathroom without touching any surface with your bare hands


You might as well have stock in Germ-X and Purell because you use so much.


Clorox Wipes are your very best friend


Every burp is analyzed....am I sick, am I hungry?


BandNerd[img]smileys/smilies_02.gif[/img]

[5cats]

You order some food, knowing you are starving,
only eat half of it to avoid over eating and then just sit there and
stare at your food while you drool over it because you are still
hungry. I do this all the time. it is such torture but I would rather
still be hungry than over eat and have a panic attack afterwards
because my tummy is too full.

<>

This is absolutely what I do, especially at dinner time. I only snack later on, if I feel hungry again!



You know you're an emet if you check the expiration dates on bottled water.



You know you're an emet if you were to be in a car wreck requiring
surgery, and the possible loss of a limb, and the one thing you would
be worried the most about at that moment would be the side effect of n*
or v* after coming out of anasthesia!

Edited by: 5cats

[ginger_saves]

you might be an emet if-


as soon as you walk into a new store or restaurant you immediately look for where the restrooms are so you know where to head...just in case!


you freak out when there are only one stall bathrooms available.


wouldrefuse the chance ata free cruise than risk the chance of dreaded Norwalk Virus.


spend at least an hour debating on what you can do without when organizing your purse because the anti-emetics meds and emergency barf bag are just taking up too much space and you can barely zip up your purse at this point because of the traveling medicine cabinet.

[marycontrary]

I thought of afew more...


You might be an emet if you:


Have tried to knock yourself out by running full speedandhitting your head on the wall when feeling N* and that v*ing is inevitable. OR you have begged someone to just knock you out and you scream at them "just hit me right here" while pointing at your head. lol.


When someone burps or farts you say "God bless you" as you would if they had sneezed in hopes that they are not going to get sick with a sv rather than a cold. lol.


You

[punchbuggy]

you might be an emet if you...


eat ridiculous amounts of gum and mints solely for the purpose of preventing any nausea.


determine your not sick with anything whatsoever by waiting until you are on the verge of dying from hunger , then only to think the noises that come from your stomach must mean you "have"something


lol

[punchbuggy]

p.s lol not that mints or gum prevent it anyways

[mommy2braylynn]

LOVE this thread![img]smileys/smilies_04.gif[/img]

[kellybean]

I love this!! It's all so true!!


chicajojobe; I always eat my grilled cheese with a knife and fork and people always look at me funny! I was also wondering about the bracelet!


5cats, the possible v*ing after surgery from a car accident is what I fear the most about a car accident!Edited by: kellybean

[stormchaser97]

Lol, this is great... especially the bracelet thing and the 1 person out of 100.


you might be an emet if


.... you start out your flight/drive by asking if anyone suffers motions sickness and announcing loudly that you have extra dramamine if anyone thinks they MIGHT need itand how you are MORE than willing toshare


...or after the fact you offer it to the lady who narrowly avoided use of the v*bag while sitting in front of you on the plane and get stucks on the same shuttle with you between terminals complaining about how she feels (she thought I was such a nice, generous young lady, heh)


..................you get in trouble with your family by dousing remote controls and cell phones, etc with handsanatizers during trips to Grandmas and think they should be proud of you for even showing up...


........getnasty glaresfrom mom for politely reminding her that the proper time to wash hands is at least 15 seconds under hot water, and not 10 under cool/just started water... (she was nice enough to go back and give them another minute ;-


..........if college keg parties were your worst fear instead of your fondest (missing) memory [img]smileys/smilies_02.gif[/img]


and finally..................if having your leg in a brace killed your gymnast -like ability to properly flush a toilet.Edited by: stormchaser97

[rubysoho120]

You know your an emet when...


You flush the toliet every time with your foot, while looking away, regardless if its your own toliet in the house or a public restroom.


You wash your hands at least 15 times with cooking at home for yourself and your family.


You constantly check to see how your boyfriend is feeling even if it is 3am and you wake up suddenly because you feel sick and you need to make sure he doesn't so you can sleep again, or lay awake and worry.


You have trained your family members to never touch their food before washing their hands, including getting chips from the chip bag by pouring them out. That includes your mother, and sister, and their signification others, and then you despise the evil sister witht eh germy kids who i too stupid to listen to you and does that, and esposes her babies to gross dieases.


You will walking along feeling fine and suddenly you just panic about being sick, making youself feel so n* that your convienced IT will happen.


You analize every little movement in yourstomach and every sound your stomach makes, including what it is feeling like 24hrs a day, and if it doesnt hurt or you dont feel n* then something must be wrong because it is so rare.

[andee]

These are AWESOME!!! John, you are too funny. I am laughing and I can't think of any more right now but I will.</font>

[marycontrary]

You know you are an emet if:


You are very very...very appreciative of the fact that some grocery stores have hand sanitizing wipe despensers next to the buggies so you can wipeit down before you use it. And, even after you give the buggy a thourough cleansing, you still keep your hands tucked inside your sleeves while you push it around the store and then wash your hands 15 times when you get home.


You wish that you could build a little handheld electronic device that you could hold over objects and it would tell you if any sv's were present. It would also be able to detect whether or not a person has a sv or is a carrier of the virus even if they never show any symptoms. MAN, if i had one of those, i would use it all the time and test everything and everyone, then I would quarantine all items and people infected. lol


you where a hazardous materials suit when going into your childs school. lol

[unnamedguy]

Great thread, I do just about all of them(and got a kick especially out of checking the experiation dates on water). Here's some more things I do(That I can think of atm).


...you check the back of every product to read warnings that tell you to contact poison control centers incase of accidental indigestion, and upon finding said warning you never touch even the outside of the container without washing your hands after, including cleaning supplies and shampoo.


...due to using shampoo in the shower you wash your hands after getting out of the shower, and while using it you are very careful not to let any of the water washing it out of your hair to evena single dropsplash foward towards your face.


...instead of using your feet you just forgo flushing the toilet most of the time anyway,even in your own home.


...if you know someone vomited in a toilet in your own home you refuse to use it before it is completely cleaned, by someone other then yourself.


...you continually wash your hands after washing them with soap until the smell of it is completely gone.


...you only use liquid soap that is contained(though touching the container will prompt more washing)since bars could still have dirt on it.


and perhaps the most rediculous if you wash your hands before and after smoking a ciggarette.Edited by: unnamedguy

[johnlp]

Fun stuff guys! Theaputic too!


You might be an emet if:


You hold your breath as you pass ill looking people (especially kids) and as you pass you exhale strongly so that your breath dispurces any potential viruses or germs that might want to enter you nose!


You use your body to open doors (at times using creative manuvers using your feet, elbows or wrist to open doors).


You avoid develed eggs, pasta salads, potato salads, coleslaw or other egg or mayonaise products at picnics or pot luck dinners.


You talk to yourself in the mirror trying to calm yourself down from a emet attack induced panic attack!