Hi all, (might be a wee bit graphic but i always try not to make it too bad)
I thought i'd put this in here as it's a sort of triumph for me. A couple of days ago i was watching MADE on mtv. Some geeky guy was wanting to become his schools prom king or summit. Anyways, he went through all this stuff to "improve" himself and one of these was an intensive work out session. Anyway, just before the break the "still to come" bit came up and it was of the guy saying i'm going through up i'm going through up and an image of him doing so (sound an all!) it was from behind and you could see through his legs if you get me. So ok, i was feeling ok, just had a surge of addrenaline because i wasn't expecting it and it would have been alot worse if i'd seen it from him mouth. So i had a choice, i could turn it off before it came back on or i could keep it on and just try to face it normally (at least i knew what happened) So i decided to keep it on, was a bit anxious but when it happened i had the remote poised in my hand and just when it happened again i switched the channel and then switched back and they where replaying it over and over. I wasn't too bad, wee bit shaky but seen as the last time i saw v* on tv i ran upstairs having a panic attack i think i did quite well, i didn't push myself either, it just felt like summit i needed to go through. And then i forgot about it for the rest of the day.