Terrified

[Moonshyne]

Hi,


I haven't posted on here in a long time... maybe a year? I try to stay away, no offense to anyone, but the less I hear about vomiting, the less I think about my emet, and the better I feel. However, I still have emet, and I still freak out from time to time and need some support. Such as right now.


I got back early yesterday morning from Christmas at my sisters in Winnipeg (Canada). I live in Calgary. Anyway, on Christmas Day my stomach started to feel really nauseous but I kind of felt like it was hunger - you know that really empty, almost cold feeling you get when you are starving? Thats sort of how it felt. So I tried eating dinner that day- not a whole lot of luck. I choked it down and the feeling in my stomach did NOT subside. I started panicking but I also remembered that I was due to start my period. Which I did, the next morning. However, I felt sick all boxing day and had "near" diarrhea for the next two days. Today I woke up and felt better so I ate my breakfast and not 20 minutes later I was sitting on the toilet with full fledged diarrhea. I haven't had that in years. I cant' tell if I'm nauseated because I'm scared, or because I have the flu.


I had stomach cramps and pains for three days - today its not so bad, its more my guts bubbling. I know this is gross but I get so scared that I'm going to vomit while I have diarrhea that I don't let it all come out. I stop it midway and build up the nerve to go back a little while later. So I feel awful. And terrified and lonely. I live in Calgary by myself, my boyfriend is still in Mexico for his Christmas vacation, and I'm all alone. I have never felt so lonely and depressed and afraid in all my life. I just keep sitting here crying my heart out, wondering why I'm still sick and why its getting worse instead of better. The other day it was just loose. Today, when I thought I was feeling better, its gotten worse. I am a complete wreck. I honestly just want to hop in my car and drive back to New Brunswick (on the other side of the country), where I'm from and have my Mom take care of me. I'm so sad.


If anyone reads this can you please write back ASAP. I need some support. And just some interaction. I'm so scared.


Thanks,


Lisa

[lucinda]

I'm so sorry to hear you are feeling unwell and alone.


Best thing to do to calm down is to remember to take deep breaths. Try and get as comfortable as you can and try distractions. Use the chat room, play online games, watch tv. It really sucks to be sick alone. I wish I could help more. Can you at least call your Mom? Maybe even talking to her will help calm you a bit.

[emmalou]

Hi. I have my period this week, and i always get diarrhea with it. Are you sure its not from that? I know how you feel, I am constantly a nervous wreck. Where is New Brunswick? and where do you live? canada somewhere I know..

[Moonshyne]

Hi


I have never had full on diarrhea with my period. Never. I'm so scared. I can't stop crying. I'm so upset. I don't understand why its getting worse. I waitress parttime and I'm supposed to work tonight. I dont' want to. And I feel guilty when I call in sick.


I live in Calgary which is in the western part of Canada... right by the Canadian Rockies. New Brunswick is on the East coast.


I hate this. So much.

[emmalou]

You should call in sick, not because you ARE sick, just so you dont have to worry about going anywhere. I think you'll be ok, it's diarrhea. What did you eat last night? Anything that could have made your stomach a little off?

[Moonshyne]

I just tried calling in sick and they told me that I either have to go in, or find someone to cover my shift. F*** them. As if I have the energy to do this right now. I hate this. I'm most definitely not going in - they can deal with that themselves.


I didn't eat anything weird last night. I had a bowl of cereal - a small bowl at that. I'm just scared I'm going to throw up. Do you think I would have already if I were going to? My stomach feels mostly nervous now. I keep getting waves of "dread" and anxiety.


I am absolutely terrified. Its the weirdest thing.... Other than cramps and diarrhea and weird feelings in my tummy (anxiety), I don't feel like I have the flu. No chills, no fever.... no fatigue.. no aches. Even the deed itself wasn't ummm... smelly. Sorry, that was gross.


My boyfriend just called from Mexico. I bawled in his ear for 20 minutes until he had to hang up. I miss him like crazy. I hate this. I've been crying for over an hour... I'm terrified.


Lisa

[emmalou]

Ok, well when is the last time you had diarrhea? And what have you eaten today? If you arent feeling n*, I dont think you are going to v*. It sounds like you ate something bad, but I honestly think your period might have something to do with it. That whole week I feel messed up, ha I have it this week too. Why dont you go outside and get some fresh air. Sometimes I get really panicky while I am inside, or keep talking to someone on the phone. Make sure you are doing something.

[Moonshyne]

I had diarrhea about an hour ago... maybe hour and a half. I didn't "finish" because I got too scared. So I still feel like I have to go and I know I should so that I get the virus out of my system but I'm absolutely terrified.


I don't know if my period has anything to do with it.. I've never experienced this kind of d* with it. Its usually just loose. Never ever in my 12 years of having periods have I experienced this.


What if I throw up while I"m on the toilet????

[emmalou]

You arent going to. But please, next time you go to the bathroom, finish. Otherwise you arent going to stop having d*, you just need to finish. I dont think you are going to v*. You said you have been drinking water? You wouldnt be able to if you were that kind of sick. Just call your mom or your boyfriend and keep talking. They will settle you down.

[Moonshyne]

I'm afraid. I know I need to get it all out.. I know that. But I always hear of people having it come out of "both ends"..... I don't want that to happen... especially at the same time. However, I get that I don't have a whole lot of control over it.


I feel like I have to go again. Im scared!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[dbacks]

Lisa,

From what I have experienced with stomach flu with my kids and my husband at Thanksgiving, is it hits hard and fast. You will not throw up if you havn't already. You sound as if you have a little intestinal bug or ate something a few days ago that just was maybe a little off. Try to let out the d* as you may need to clear your system. Try to drink pleanty of water, and maybe eat some yogert after your d* subsides. Really, you will be fine. Thats one thing I do know about norovirus is you don't have A LOT of time before V* starts. You would have by now, so try to relax, watch a funny movie. I just watched ELF the other day and if you like goofy humor, its a good one. Let us know how your doing.Hang in there!

[emmalou]

I dont know what to tell you. I dont think if you were going to v* that you would even FEEL like coming onto the computer. When you have the stomach flu, all you want to do is sit in the bathroom. Just please call your boyfriend or something. Or go into the chat room so I can talk to you more easily.

[dbacks]

Are you n*? Or just having d*?

[Moonshyne]

Hi,


Just having d*. And its neverending. I thought it was all done, but apparently its not. I think its slowing down though. I was nauseated earlier but I think a lot of it was anxiety related.


I am hoping that by morning it will be all gone. I'm terrified to eat though because the last time I did, it just went right through me. Which is entirely annoying. I get super upset when I can't eat, as I had an eating disorder in my teens and I cant afford to go down that road again. The eating disorder was due to emet and I really have had it under control for the past 10 years. If I go for more than a day without eating I start to get upset and think that it will start the cycle again.


I'm going to go take a warm shower.... maybe that will help things. Somehow. Anyone have any suggestions for getting rid of the poo's? I know there's the BRAT diet.. but does that actually help it, or is that just something thats easy on the digestive system and doesn't make it WORSE.


Thanks....

[tink]

Hi Lisa,

I am sorry that you arent feeling well. From what I have heard, if you are going to v* with a virus it almost always comes first and the d* keeps going after the initial v*ing. Alot of adults only get d* with a virus as well. So try not to be so scared.. I know it can make the fear worse when you are dealing with this alone, but you will make it through no matter what happens.

Take care,
--Kim

[olympicrunner]

Hey,


sorry things are so horrible. You need to just go ahead and have D*--i know, i hate having d* but honestly you will feel so much better. Knowing you need to "go" and not doing it will just exacerbate the anxiety.


i usually have d* after v* when i have the sv*...also i get d* constantly but almost never v* during it...and i have never v* or d* at the same time

[rubysoho120]

I hope your okay. How are you feeling?

[Moonshyne]

Hey Everyone,


So far so good. I woke up this morning feeling a million times better, although I was cautious when I ate breakfast. But I didn't have to go to the bathroom once all day.


I'm not always smart though, I just got home from work and was STARVING as I haven't eaten much in days.... and I popped a mini pizza in the microwave. So hopefully that won't aggravate my digestive system. But as of right now, its all good.


Thank you all so much for your support...... you guys are great. This place is still like family to me, even though most people are new to me. Its nice to have a place to go when you're upset, scared and anxiouss and to have people understand what you're going through is amazing.


Thanks again!!!


Lisa xoxo

[punchbuggy]

sorry you were feeling so sick , to bad you left winnipeg , i live here i could have come to keep you sane and have a bit of company. iv read that your feeling better now so thats great. if you ever come to wpg again let me know , i have never met another emet in my life that would be pretty cool. glad your feeling better.

[Moonshyne]

Hey punchbuggy!!!


Thats so COOL!!! I wish I had known!! I definitely would have met up with you.... I've met an emet once in my life - when I went to Toronto. I forget her name now, but she was pretty cool. I wonder what ever happened to her...


I'm sure I'll be in Winnipeg again - my sister and her hubby are probably going to be there for awhile - he's in the military.


Lisa