Need to vent

[liz001]

Just a warning, this could get long. I dont know who else to talk to. I just feel so frustrated. It has nothing to do w/ emet or anything. I guess it relationship issues. Or maybe its just me and my insecurity. I've got a great guy, I really do. I know that most guys arent serious about relationships and feelings and all that stuff. I just worry all the time that he's going to get bored or someone else will come along. I want to know that he wants to marry me. I dont even think he thinks about a future w/ me. I guess I feel like I'm at a point now where I dont want to date around anymore. When I'm dating someone I want it to grow and I want to know that I can be w/ that person for the rest of my life and it might work out and it might not, but I dont want to just date around anymore. I just dont feel secure at all. I have told him this and probablybrought it up more than I should b/c I can tell it gets on his nerves. I know he shouldnt have to tell me all the time that he wants to be w/ me but its like I constantly need reassured or something. Earlier tonight I was asking him if he ever got hit on by other girls and he said yes and I was asking details about it which is stupid on my part b/c I know its going to make me jealous, but whatever. So he's telling me about this waitress that said he was hot and wanted to give him her number and he told her that he had a girlfriend and she said, well thats too bad. But the guys he was out to lunch w/ were telling him that he should of got it b/c you never know, me and him could break up next week or something. This guy that told him that I really liked and it just really pisses me off that he would tell my boyfriend to do something like that. Does it not mean anything to him? I'm not expecting for him to be all lovey dovey, but I am. I dont know what I want. Sometimes I feel very happy and other times I'm just lost. Why would he want to stay w/ me. I'm totally scared out of my mind of getting sick, I have panic attacks all the time, I never want to go out, I never party, I dont have any friends, I go to bed early......etc. So therefore I have no self confidence and if you dont like yourself then no one else will like you, right? How the hell do I change all this?!?!?! I want to be more out going, I want him to know that there is more to me. I want him to want me. I know he likes me, I just dont know whats wrong. I always want more I guess. When we hang out all we do is sit around my house. We play games sometimes and watch a lot of movies, but I feel like I'm holding him back from having fun and stuff. We go out sometimes but I always get tired and want to leave and there have been a few times that he's complained about it. I think I just got hurt b/c that guy told him he should of taken that girls number. I dont want people to put thoughts in his head like that. I know I cant help things like that and I just have to hope that he cares enough about me. I cant talk to him about it anymore b/c it just annoys him. I need to change I guess. Sorry this was so long, I just need to let some things out. I'm just feelin very down I guess. GRRRRR!!!!

[punchbuggy]

Honey i used to be you , that was everything i thought about and i used to get SOOOO jealous. the only thing you can do is be yourself , you cant push someone to love you or make them want you. it has to happen on its own, he did say he had a girlfriend didnt he? that means a lot , you may not see it but trust me it does come from the heart. sorry that you feel this way , i personally know what it feels like trust me but seriuosly girl just be yourself and love yourself, things will work out and whatever is ment to be will be. never look for love let it find you.

[christianne]

I'm so sorry you're feeling so sad ~ trust me, I've been there before as well!

I've learned quite a bit about men over the years (I'm 32 now) and one of the things they really look for in a woman is confidence. You need to realize your own self worth, and not count on a man to bring it to you. Men do not define us and they do not make us who we are. You shouldn't feel that he has to reassure you (and he shouldn't feel that either!), you should be sure of yourself. If you have that confidence, men see it and it makes any relationship that much better. As the saying goes, you need to love yourself before you can love anyone else. Truly!

Also, it is okay to be a little bit jealous on occasion, but it's never okay to be really jealous. It's not perceived as love but as lack of trust, and that can kill any relationship.

From experience, I know that if you both are looking for different things out of a relationship it's going to be tough. If he's not serious about it and you are you can't change his mind. If you have been together for a long time, it's okay to ask and see what he thinks about the future. But, if it's a fairly new relationship it's best to let it go. And if he's really not what you're looking for, move on. Never, ever settle for less than what you want!

It sounds to me like you need to figure out just how wonderful and lovely you are and truly know it and feel it. When you get to that point, everything else falls into place. I used to always worry about my relationships when I was younger, but once I began to truly love myself is when things turned around. And they will for you too!

Okay, sorry this is so long!![img]smileys/smilies_01.gif[/img] Good luck!



Edited by: christianne

[liz001]

Thanks for the replies. Those feelings just come and go. He really is a great guy, I just need to be happy w/ myself and then I wont constantly need him to reassure me that he likes me. I dont want to push anything on him. We've been dating for 2 years and we're both still young, so there is not really a need for me to worry about that kind of stuff. I dont know what I"m so afraid of. I'm just very insecure and I hate that. I am feeling better though. It just hurts to hear things like that. It just really bothered me that that guy told him to get that girls number. I just thought he would want to support our relationship I guess. I do trust him so I guess I just need to learn not to let things get to me so much!


Thank you guys for responding! Even though I've never met any of you, you guys are great friends!!!!!! I hope everyone has a wonderful New Year!

[punchbuggy]

glad that you are feeling happier today, if you ever want to talk about boys just pm me , iv been to the deeep , cold bottom when it comes to man issues.