Those who haven’t v* in 15+ years

[domino2006]

Okay, I thought it has been a long time for me since I last v* but some of you guys haven't v* in 15, 20, or 30 years and yet you are still emetophobic. What is that like for you? Do you actually not remember it at all? Do you have frequent n* or is it just a passing feeling sometimes? The more time goes by, does the fear get worse or better? The older I get, the less I v* but the more I fear doing it. And I keep thinking "My time is up. I'm past due." Arg! How can we be afraid of something we can't even remember very well?

[cloughie]

It has been 35 years for me and it's no less or more scarey. I have had more time to learn about my body, i know that loads of things can make tummys gurgle or ache without it being a virus, i dont panic if my tummy feels off as i know that the chances arethat the feelings will pass. I don't clean my house with anything special nothing more than ordinary house hold cleaner. The only thing i do is wash my hands a lot and stay in when there is a tummy bug going around big time, even though they are around all year if i don't hear about it i don't worry.


I live my life to a point, avoid drunks, i feel uncomfortable on public transport, i wish i had the nerve to fly. I check food dates and i eat out sometimes as i am willing to risk it.


At my age i sometimes feel to tired to search for yet another treatment or person to help mewhich can be depressing. Because it's been so long i ask myself what the hell i am scared of, i can't even remember being sick as i was about ten years old and am now 46 and have been emet since about the age of 15.


I don't really know how to explain this but it's my body that reacts not me, if my body didn't react i wonder how scared i would be, i wonder if being sick was sudden like a hiccup if it would be alright.


I have to be careful what i'm saying because it might not be a good read for someone who has been an emet for five years reading that people can still suffer 30 years on.

[johnlp]

Wow cloughie that is impressive! I thought my 22 years was a record! LOL!


I only fear infectious v*.


Drunk v*, amusment park v*, my moms chemo v* does not panic me (it grosses me out, but does not panic me).


Anything sv* related freaks me out. As I have said before, I think of myself more of a sv* phobe.


I do not fear sick people unless it is sv*.

[daffodil]

I'm exactly like you, John. If it isn't contagious, it grosses me out, but doesn't panic me. I am mostly worried about me doing 'it.'

[dbacks]

I am exactly the same! If I can't catch it, I don't freak. My daughter got carsick last year, and although I sqinted my eyes and plugged my ears, afterwards, I helped clean her up. I saw someone run to a trash can and lean over it at the fair this year. I didn't even look away because I new WHY he was sick. But if someone is sick with an obvious sv* I am outta dodge real quick freaking out!

[dbacks]

It has been almost 13 years since I v* last. I doubled up on birth control pills and the extra hormones were to much. A lot like morning sickness. I v* (mostly dry heaves) a couple times, went back to bed and after I woke up a couple hours later I was fine. Hormones cleared my system. Before then, it was about 10 months previous. I think I did have a bug. I v* for real a couple times. Fine the next day. Brfore that it had been about 10 years. More details then you all need I am sure. You get the point. It doesn't happen often. I have had rimes where I could have and was probably "sick" but thanks to anti-emetics and even a trip to the ER to get an IV of anti-nausea once, I have beat it. I hope my number isn't up soon. I dread that awful day!

[domino2006]

"I don't really know how to explain this but it's my body that reacts not me, if my body didn't react i wonder how scared i would be, i wonder if being sick was sudden like a hiccup if it would be alright."

Hi Cloughie, yes I understand what you are saying. It doesn't always seem like a conscious thing for me, either. I might (and I say might) be fine, even if I feel very sick, right up to the point when I really think it's going to happen and then the fear kicks in automatically. I have found that positive self-talk really helps. For instance: "I am going to be okay. It's not that bad. It will be over soon."

This phobia is pretty complex, in my opinion. I think the negative thoughts and the negative self-talk is what drags me down. Thanks for your thoughts, everyone!

[gumdropper1]

Okay, I thought it has been a long time for me since I last v* but some of you guys haven't v* in 15, 20, or 30 years and yet you are still emetophobic. What is that like for you? Do you actually not remember it at all? Do you have frequent n* or is it just a passing feeling sometimes? The more time goes by, does the fear get worse or better? The older I get, the less I v* but the more I fear doing it. And I keep thinking "My time is up. I'm past due." Arg! How can we be afraid of something we can't even remember very well?

It's been almost 31 years for me. I still remember it quite well. I had been emet for two years prior to that, and I remember thinking just as it happened that it wasn't so bad and that I had been agonizing for two years about nothing. But by that same afternoon, my emet was back, and before long, it was worse than ever. I'm not entirely sure what nausea is like, but I only have emet crises very infrequently. There is no such thing as being "due." If you look at my streaks page, you will see a lot of people who have gone an extremely long time. http://faq.emetophobia.net/streaks.html


Doug

[domino2006]

Hi Doug,

I have read your site and it has calmed me down numerous times. I think because it is so clinical and puts me in a more logical frame of mind. Thank you!

I read on your site that many emets can't distinguish between true nausea and what they are feeling. For me I believe I am experiencing true nausea but it has no physical cause and comes on at the strangest times. I can't distinguish true nausea that will lead to vomiting from nausea that will spontaneously go away. It feels exactly the same to me by every definition of nausea. This has happened since I was twenty. Prior to that I was terrified of seeing someone vomit or hearing it, in person or on t.v. and I hardly ever felt nauseated myself. Now it has flipped: I don't fear hearing or seeing it but regularly I think I'm getting a stomach virus and I freak out.
Before finding out about emetophobia I thought I was this stupid, irrational, out of control person and no one else in the world was like me.

Thanks so much for your valuable information! I think I'd be much worse if I hadn't read it.

Steph

[xxsophiaxx]

cloughie, so that means last time you v* you were 11, right? I was 10 last time i v*, I'm 15 now *KNOCKS WOOD*. wow so if I was to make it 35 years w/ out v* I'd be 45 years old! my mom's age. lol wow. I'm hoping I can go as long as/ you or even more w/ out v* [img]smileys/smilies_06.gif[/img]

[susie_q]

The last time I v* was 32 years ago and it was just once. I remember doing it, but not how it actually felt. I am really not sure if I had emet prior to that time. Any kind of v* freaks me out, whether it is sv related or not. But, when it is sv related, I worry everytime I come into contact with someone who has it or if their family members have it. I wash my hands constantly and constantly fear getting sick. I usually feel n* several times per week and sometimes I have to takeanti-n* medicationfor it.


I think my fear is not only v*, but when I go in public I fear I am going to do it wherever it is I go. It seems to have gotten worse in the past few months. I am thinking about going to the dr. for some medication to calm me down.

[dbacks]

Interesting.
I don't have any fear of v* in public. My fear is simply getting a sv*. Public or at home. I dread that day. Its sooooooooooooooooo true that the anticipation is the worst part. I have toyed with the thought of making myself sick, like a bulimic. If I didn't have to face the uncomtrolable fact of doing it, I might be able to do it. Reality is, when the N* hits, I would be back to square one, so I don't bother.

[domino2006]

Interesting.
I don't have any fear of v* in public. My fear is simply getting a sv*. Public or at home. I dread that day. Its sooooooooooooooooo true that the anticipation is the worst part. I have toyed with the thought of making myself sick, like a bulimic. If I didn't have to face the uncomtrolable fact of doing it, I might be able to do it. Reality is, when the N* hits, I would be back to square one, so I don't bother.

I hear you! What I can't figure out, what I'd love to figure out, is why this thing is so scary. Now, I've never broken a bone and I'm sure it would hurt and I wouldn't want to do it. But I pretty much never worry about that. Wouldn't it make more sense to fear breaking a bone or something more painful? I really just don't get it and I'm trying to understand. I guess the only way to really understand is go through counseling and find the root cause. I've been afraid of vomiting to some degree since I was at least 5 years old. And I vividly remember getting my first stomach virus even though I don't remember the date.
Huh. Oh well, mysteries of the human mind.

Do people who have broken a bone ever get a terrorizing and debilitating fear of doing that again? That would be interesting to know. Is it the memory of the pain? I still think it might be something cultural. Definitely the fear of doing it in public plays a part.

Thanks so much for sharing your thoughts, everyone!

[domino2006]

Sorry, one more thing. Are there experts on emetophobia? Are there books about it? I feel so much compassion for you guys and for myself. It seems like sort of an untapped psychological field. I think if I'd understood this earlier in life I could have been spared a lot of heartache.

I was just remembering when I was in middle school we had to do a class play. I was out of school on the day they handed out parts and when I returned was given the part of a character who had to do a vomit scene. At that time of life I would never dare contradict a teacher, I did what I was told. The day of the performance was the most humiliating day of my life! I remember after it was over I hid in the bathroom for the rest of the day crying, and then got in trouble for hiding.

I really want to help other people like me. I'd like to learn more about what is out there about this and find strategies to help people overcome this truly debilitating affliction. People laugh at it and stuff but it is quite serious.

[hairfixer35]

I feel if I sayhow long it has been for me since I v* it will jinx me but the truth is the last time was 35 yrs ago. I have had several bouts of a sv* with n* and totally freaked!! I have raised 2 children, 2 pregnecies with morning sickness but never v* When my kids were sick I would panic in private, stop eating, not sleep for fear that it would get me during the night. I somehow made sure i had a supply of valium and compazine (anti ememt). Since my younger years, I have less anxiety over it but it rears it's ugly head if it is the season for sv* and I have been near someone who has it and can give it to me. I don't keep any anti emets anymore or take valium. I don't have panic attacks anymore but I do have free floating anxiety that is a pain in the ass.

[triciaw804]

It's been about 35 years for me too. At least from a sv*. About 24 years ago from drinking. I am so frightened. My son v*d last night. Caught it from my ex husband. I didn't sleep at all and am at work today. I'm just sitting here wondering if it will hit me. I hope not. I didn't go near him at all and washed my hands a lot. Cleaned the bathroom with bleach and wiped the door handles too. He's feeling better so I think the worse is over. I have a fellow emet that I work with. We've been chatting most of the day. She's freaked out now too. We keep assuring eachother that we'll be fine. I wish I knew what I was so frightened of.

[susie_q]

As for the question about fearing a broken bone if you have ever broken one before. My daughter broke her arm when she was 7 (she is now 9) and shows no fear or talks about being afraid of breaking another bone. However, she is terrified to v* and asks me everyday before school and before bed"am I going to be okay". What she wants to know isthat she is not going to v*.

[samara's on tv]

It hasn't been that long for me but let me tell you guys something. My mom had her first SV in 22 years over Christmas. My dad hasn't HAD a sv in 22 years! They both raised three kids together (I was like NEVER sick bu my sister would get an SV twice a year) Neither of them ever got sick. They are NOT EMETS. I know my mom has vomited in 22 years, only 3 times I can think of, and that wasn't from a virus it was because she had to drink that Go-Litely stuff and it made her puke. I had to drink that stuff too, luckily I kept it down. But no Vomiting from a stomach virus until a few weeks ago. As for my dad, I know he's vomited once that I can think of and that was from too much wine. I know he got sick from tequila once but I don't know if he actually threw up or not. As for hygene and cleaning, my parents are no different from most of you, except for about a period of 10 years we had a professional cleaning lady come to the house. But that was in our new house and I can tell you that my sisters got sick A LOT in the house I grew up in. It just pisses me off that they aren't even EMETS and they DON'T THROW UP! I fear it all the time and here they are, haven't done it in 20 odd years and they don't fear it at all! GRRRR!


~Monica

[marby]

I haven't v* in 35 years (knocks wood). My phobia has actually gotten worse over the years. I can tell you what I was wearing, what day of the week it was, time of day, etc. It seems like yesterday. I fearmyself v* and fear othersv*. Doesn't matter the reason, it all freaks me out. It's always worse in the winter, but this winter seems to be especially bad. I'm sure statistically this winter is no different from last, but it sure seems worse where I am. I pray for Spring! I've even told my hubby I want to move to a warm climate because it would feel like spring/summer all year and I wouldn't be such a lunatic! :0

[cardinalgirl]

i havent vomited before. im on the brink of 21 and except from spitting up when i was an infant, i have not done the dirty deed.


i am afraid of all vomit. i will not go to amusement parks , clubs, fairs, movies, anywhere where vomit COULD happen. i trust noone when they are sick except myself. i have had numerous things that most people get sick from and i have no idea why i didnt but sometimes i think it would be best to get er done so i can see what all the fuss is about. but not yet.


i pretend im immune to it.

[misslady]

OMG Cardinalgirl!! You haven't v* ever?! When did your emet start?

[cardinalgirl]

nope haha. knock on wood .


its not that great though, i always have false alarms.


i think my emet started around the age of 5.

[domino2006]

Monica, I can say the same about my brother and sister-in-law. They never v* either, and they take no precautions at all. None! They don't worry about handwashing, they go on a cruise every year, they eat from street vendors in Mexico. The opposite of an emet. Maybe some people just aren't as prone to it as others.

And Cardinalgirl, don't worry, you aren't missing anything.[img]smileys/smilies_05.gif[/img]

[madisonsmom]

I am like Johnlp...I only fear sv!


My last time was Sept of 2003...UGH!


I have had viruses since and have not v*.

[happyteacher]

My last time was 20 years ago.


I think that now, however, I could handle myself v*, it's others that I fear. I don't care if it is contagious or not, v* is v*!

[domino2006]

One thing I've learned for sure on this website is that this phobia is not cured by v* or by lack of v*. Some of us have not v* in a very long time and are still terrified, others have v* only recently and are still terrified.

This is a mystery and one that I want to get to the bottom of. I know, a phobia is irrational. But at some point there has to be a turning point, something that is able to shut this fear off, right?

[misslady]

I agree. I think we all need to reprogram our emotional responses to this fear or to the act of actual v*. The mind is incredibly powerful and there has to be a real way over overcoming this.