Tubal Ligation

[shiva]

Are there set guidelines that help doctors to decide whether or not to give women tubal ligations?


Thanks.

[crazybeautiful]

My mom told me they likely wouldn't perform it on a woman under 25 when I expressed interest in the procedure. I have no idea though, best to ask your GP about it.

[bandnerd]

I had it done at age 28, after the birth of my second child.


3 years later, I am now 30 weeks pregnant with my 3rd child.


What a waste of time, money and pain. [img]smileys/smilies_06.gif[/img]


BandNerd

[californiagirl]

Well, I had one when I was 24, 6 weeks after my 3rd childbirth. The reason for me was that I was married to an abusive man and the dr. recommended that I do not risk getting pregnant by him again, because I was so stressed during pregnancy, I almost lost her in my 8th month due to the abuse. I was really happy afterward, because I really didn't want more kids.

[mitch04133]

Just curious, you don't want anymore kids? Has your husband thought of being snipped? Its less painful and it can be reversed easier. (just in case).

[swiftette]

I ask my husband every year to get snipped but he won't-the chicken[img]smileys/smilies_07.gif[/img]. I'm only 35-I got a lot of years left to worry!

[jennyleigh1975]

I dont understand why some men feel that way about a vasectomy. My husbands was not that bad. He was sore for about two days and that was it. He was alot less sore and for a lot less longer than I was after the three c-sections I had.[img]smileys/smilies_04.gif[/img]

As for the tubal question. Most doctors wont do them on anyone under 25 (Atleast the Ob/Gyn's around here.) Your doc Im sure is going to ask you things like, why you dont want anymore and if your husband does want any children. Even when I had my third baby at 26, my doctor was still not really wanting to give me a tubal, thats why my hubby had the vasectomy. I dont know what guidelines most docs go by for performing tubals.

[shiva]

Thanks for the info. It's just something I'm playing with in my own mind, I guess. I have one child who is 10 from my ex husband. My present husband had wanted kids, but now is unsure. The older Jade gets, the more I don't want more kids. I don't want to spend my life raising children- It's frying my central nervous system! Lol! So I've been jokingly saying to Victor that this summer I am either getting pregnant or getting my tubes tied, but I don't want to wait any longer to have another child. Because Victor is so much younger than me and has no children, it's doubtful that anyone would give him a vasectomy, so I thought I might have a better chance at surgery since I am 29 and have a child. I'm just playing with ideas here.

[jennyleigh1975]

shiva, I am shocked, you cradle robber! LOL, I hope you know I am just kidding. How old is your husband?

[shiva]

Jennyleigh! LOL! He's 24 or 25... Hmmmm. He was born in 1982. LOL! I don't know, I try to block it out because it makes me feel a little dirty!

He's raised my daughter for the past 5-6 years with me. He helps take care of her when she's sick. He's the most considerate person I've ever met. I know he would be a great father for his own child. We've just struggled so much, keeping the past few years so concentrated on Jade and her transition in all this divorce, remarriage stuff that we both could use a break from all that and a little time together. Truth be told, I love babies, but would be happy being involved more as an auntie or helping out my friends with theirs. I would be more than happy with a dog or 5. I know this is something that people tend to change their minds on over and over. I also know if something permanent doesn't happen in the way of birth control that I will soon be a mommy again. I just feel like there is going to be too much of a gap between Jade and a baby. I want to travel and do humanitarian work. It sounds selfish, but I want to live some of this life for myself. On the other hand, if Victor told me that he absolutely wanted to be a father, I would give him that. He deserves it. Although that's not what I am hearing from him, I realize he's young. But, he realizes that I am not kidding when I say that I am not having a 15 year gap between kids. *sigh* Life is confusing, no?

[ontariogirl]

My Kids: Justin was 9 when Tyler was born.
I was 13 when my sister was born.
Justin and Tyler are close, but not as close as Ty wants them to be. He is off to college and seesTyler when there is a break. For Tyler's birthday that was in November, Justin came home and surprized him! Tyler had tears in his eyes!. I know what you are saying about the gap, but in the long run its worth it. You have a man who is there for you, I didnt have that. You will make the decision when both of you are ready!!!
I PM yu


LOL Shiva: my son Justin was born in 84!!!![img]smileys/smilies_01.gif[/img]

[rubysoho120]

Is Justin cute? lol jk...i was born in 85

[ontariogirl]

He is very cute!! LOL

[shiva]

Ontariogirl,
So the gap isn't as bad as I am making it in my mind? I keep trying to remind myself of the benefits of having Jade there to 'help' and whatever. I don't know.... We'll see how things turn out.
Thanks everyone for your input.

[tink]

Hey Shiva,

Just one more thing to think about. There is a new procedure called essure, that implants little plastic thingies into the fallopian tubes. They go in through the cervix so there is no surgery. I dont know a thing more about it, but here is the website. Good luck on your decision!

http://www.essure.com/EssurePermanen...rolbyConceptus /Understanding/WhatisEssure/tabid/55/Default.aspx


--Kim

[mitch04133]

I know what you are going through shiva. I am going to be 29 this year, and I am pretty sure I don't want kids either. My boyfriend who is 40 already has a 15yoa boy, and I think this is enough for me. I too would rather just have a bunch of animals to take care of, and that is not being selfish! My boyfriend had a vasactomy about 3 years ago, and its nice not having to worry I will get pregnant. Its a hard choice, but just remember once you have the surgery it will be that much harder if you changed you mind. Have you though about an IUD? It stays in you for like 5 years, than you don't have to worry about it being permanant, and if you both change your mind, you can always just have it removec.

[shiva]

Kim,


Wow. That's very interesting. I will be looking into that. Thanks for the info.


Mitch,


Know what? I don't know why I haven't given an IUD much consideration.


I have lots to talk with my doctor about tomorrow.

[sillygirl]

My husband's family has a huge gap between kids. His older sister is only 3 years older than him, but then his younger sister is 10 years younger than him and his younger brother is 11 years younger than his younger sister (so 21 years younger than my husband). My husband and his little sister were incredibly close growing up. We started dating when we were 16, and all he did was brag about how great his little sister was, how many books she could read, etc. And he was so protective of her - still is. Now with his little brother, that's more of a father/son kind of relationship. But my husband's younger sister is great with him (since htey still live together). The only thing I would say is you have to watch out not to put too much responsibility on your daughter. I think sometimes his sister feels like her parets dump a lot of babysitting on her and kind of have her be "the mom." But she loves him anyway and is so great with him. It's all up to you and your husband, of course, but I don't think the age gap is too big of a deal. Have you ever asked your daughter what she would think about you having another baby?Edited by: sillygirl

[spilled_milk]

Really, you have to do what you need and want to do! I just wanted to offer a story: My friend is seventeen and when she was fourteen i think, her littlest brother was born. Obviously the relationship is very different, it's almost more of a mom relationship than a good friend relationship. Like, her brother said once that he had "two mommies'. She really likes it though, even though it is different, saying that she can't wait until he gets older so that she can take him to concerts and be a cool big sister.


<3 Anya--