Hello! My name is Christine, and I have had emetophobia for almost five years, though I didn't know what it was called until today, lol!
The first time I ever had a panic attack, I was going to bed, I turned out the light & laid down, then all of a sudden a absolutely terrible feeling came & I started freaking out and thinking that I was going to v*. I went into my parents (I'm still just a teen right now) and the whole thing just blew up. All nightI felt terribly sick and couldn't barely sleep.
So! Ever since then I've been absolutely terrified to v*! That first year I can't remember much of how I felt about it, summer I think came soon after, and I didn't feel like I would get sick in the summertime. The second year it was almost not noticeable until somebody actually got sick!
However, the third & fourth years have been everyday/almost all dayanxiety about getting sick no matter what time of year, I started not eating because I was afraid that if I got sick it would make it even worse, I would start getting freaked out if I had to wear a different pair of p.j.'sbecause anythingchangedwould make me panicky. Every night I would go into my mom's room because I would start panicking about getting sick & then about 3-4 times a week I would go into full blown panic. Anytime that I even heard ABOUT somebody we knew and/or and just seen getting sick my legs would turn to mush, my head would be rushing with anxious thoughts, and I would feel faint. I remember in quite clear details all of the times I have ever gotten stomache sick since I was 5, but I haven't always been afraid...
Last winter my little sister had gotten stomache sick about 5 times, the last one my whole family got except ME! But watching everyone almost drove me insane. I got to a point beyond panicking about v*ing and I was in sort of a trance, each day another person of my 8 person family would get sick and by the last couple of them I wanted to give myself the flu just because I couldn't stand it!!! But I was so afraid of v*ing that I of course didn't try to catch it. It was horrible! But it eventually ended but for the rest of the summer I was still haunted by the fear.
Ok, now for the good part!! I finally couldn't stand it any longer so I told my mom the whole situation about how bad it was. At my next check-up the doctor was worried about me not eating very well, so she reccomended a phychologist that specialized in eating disorders (even though this wasn't my problem, it wasn't the only thing this phychologist did). I started going to her I think it was mid-october or early-november 2006. Right now January 2006, my sister is sick, the only think I did was feel a little faint when she got sick, I still am scared to death about v*ing, but it's getting sooooo much better!!! I don't think about it constantly, I went to bed the other night without going to mom's, I haven't had a "BIG" panic attack about getting sick ina little over2 months, and I'm eating normally! I have been working very hard onbreathing and thinking positively tecniques since going tothe phycologist, so myfear hasen't been able to build up into something unmanageble and huge. Also social things are still hard for me to go to without being anxious about v*ing, but I still bowl through them!
So I want to encourage anyone that suffers from anxiety and panic because of emetophobia and say that you really can do it even if you'll always have this fear life is going to get better if you really want it to and you work hard for it! Oh, and I have not EVER had any panic/anxiety meds ever, YAY!
I hope you have a fabulous day!
PS. really I don't think I will ever get over fearing to v*, but at least panic and anxiety will not rule my life!<edited><editID>hope</editID><editDate>39089.9095486111
Welcome to the International Emetophobia Society | The Web's Largest Meeting Place for People With Emetophobia.
Reply With Quote
