Geez, I am so sorry you are having such a hard time. I have a friend whose hubby is now recovered alcoholic/drug addict and he'd get pissed about her not wanting kids but SHEESH why bring kids into this kind of situation? Its not fair for them and adds another stress (and excuse to drink).
I agree you can try talking to him when he is sober, in a calm way and let him know how badly it hurts and scaresyou to see him this way and the things he says and does. Like has been said if he's willing to get help then excellent but if not YOU would probably benefit from therapy just for you to help you while you are deciding what to do.
It's such a difficult situation and very hard decisions need to be made on your part just remember that if he doesn't think there's a problem (on his part) and doesn't want to get better then nothing you say or do is going to change that. He is going to be exactly who he chooses and allows himself to be and where you play into all of this will be your choice.
We're all here for you so please no need to apologize about venting ... it's a necessity!
\"As soon as you trust yourself,you will know how to live.\"
Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
\"Do not anticipate trouble, or worry about what may never happen. Keep in the sunlight.\"
Benjamin Franklin