I hope I am posting this in the right topic forum!

I noticed that there was one forum dedicated to success stories but that there was limited posts within this section! For this reason I felt compelled to add something!

I am going to continually touch wood when I am adding this post cos I really don't want to jinx anything![img]smileys/smilies_05.gif[/img] This is the first time that I have visited this forum in some time, I would probably say in over a year. In that time a lot has changed for me, I have moved house, new job, got engaged....and I am also coping much better with my emet! There is no way that I can say I have succeded and beaten emet, no chance, but I can certainly say that it no longer takes a hold of me like it used to and I have moved on from the way I was.

I can now sit at work and not constantly be planning my route out, my heart beat doesn't automatically go up when someone mentions a bus or a train, let alone the idea of getting on one! And I can enjoy time with family and friends, going out for meals, drinks, dancing, without continually thinking about 'what if'. This is not to say that I dont panic, I do, but somehow I have learnt to control my panic, and on the whole, I can. Don't get me wrong, I still insist on sitting at the end of an aisle at the cinema, I still obsessively wash my hands and I still panic if someone around me has a sb! The progress I have made has been around the control that emet had over me. I still have an insane fear of v* and if I feel ill I am still the same panic striken mess that I would have been BUT, in my day to day life, in everyday situations, emet doesn't control me like it used, somehow, I re-gained some control back!

Even now I am not sure how I made the progress that I have. I am very forunate that I have an incredibly understanding fiance who supported me when I was at my worst. He still notices when I have minor set backs but he never questions it and he has always understood that emet is about a phobia, an irrational fear, not something that can be justified. I have also been very distracted from my fear - my job keeps me busy and somedays I don't have a chance to stop and think, I just need to keep going. Gradually emet has moved from being my number one priority, it is still there but not at the fore-front of all my thoughts! It has taken me a year to be able to step back and look at how I was - I didn't like to go out with friends, going to uni, even walking into a local shop - and to be able to see just how much progress I have made and how much I have changed. The change I see makes me happy![img]smileys/smilies_01.gif[/img]

I wanted to add something to this forum that was positive and hopefully helpful to some people who may be feeling like I did 2 years ago - never being able to imagine shaking the fear. There are still some mornings when I get up, feel a bit iffy and choose to wear flat shoes instead of heels - just incase I need to run! I still go out though which is the main thing! I prefer to think of it as being quirky but it does show me I am not all the way there yet, but I am certainly heading in the right direction![img]smileys/smilies_04.gif[/img]


Thanks,
K