I am encouraged, but it wasn’t easy!!

[jamie24]

[jamie24]

ok I don't know how that happened...nothin' showed up lol!
Anyways, here is my story of the last 2 yrs. Warning, could be graphic, but it's good news I promise!
On December 28th 2006 (true emet, remembering the date) I was just sitting with my BF eating chips and watching a movie. All of a sudden I felt very n*. I lied down and tried to breathe like usual, but this time I knew was different. I was truly sick.
My ultimate fear, food poisening. (FYI, it was McDonalds cheeseburgers!)
I sat by the toilet. I fought it with all my strength for hours. Finally, I just gave up, and it was more horrifying then I remembered it to be (it had been almost 8 yrs.)

That really took my emet to a new height. I stopped eating anything that wasn't packaged and spoil proof. I lost a ton of weight. I stayed home from work if anyone there even complained of a mild stomach ache. My hands became raw from Purell and washing constantly. Ugh, it was awful!

Anyways, I have IBS, and I started noticing a bit of blood. So my doc ordered a barium enema. I had to go on a fluid diet and take laxatives for 2 days prior to the test.

Well. All was fine, I wasn't feeling sick, just hungry. The final instruction for the test was to take 4 Dulcolax tablets before bed. I read the package, and it said NOT to exceed 2 tablets in 24 hrs, but I really didn't want the test to get screwed up, and I figured the doctors knew that it was OK to take the 4.

I woke up at 1am. Excruciating pain in my stomach. Went and sat on the can (I'm sorry, this is graphic.) Suddenly I was hit with the WORST cold sweat/n* combo. Again, I fought it, but this was powerful, and I gave up very quickly.

Here is the encouraging part. IT WASN"T THAT BAD!!! Giving in to it, it was over quickly, and I felt a million times better! I'm so glad I didn't sit there and fight it. Never again will I do that. While it was happening I kept telling myself, it's OK! It will be over soon. I'll feel better! This is natural! And it worked.

I am trying to keep those thoughts in my head. I thinkof all the times I have felt ill. How many actually resulted in v*? Like less than 1%! And I realized, if it does happen, I will survive.

Sorry for the long post. But I am on my way to recovery!
To all reading, don't take 4 Dulcolax! No matter what the doc says lol
Thank you for reading.

[punchbuggy]

Hey thats great to hear and good for you ..you are taking control in a positive way !

[turtleiam]

Great job Jamie. It's hard to face your fears like that. But, you're right, we live through it if we have to. I think you are on your way to recovery. Now attack it with every bit of motivation you have, otherwise, bad habits come back.


Proud of you & I love positive stories!


Susan

[pvm1955]

Jamie, congratulations and bravo to you! That was definitely a start in the right direction towards your own healing.