I have been a self-diagnosed emet for most of my 52 years on this planet and had most of the same anxiety-relatedobsessiveness about it that most emets have. For the most part, however, my emet does not affect my life in any way, shape or form NOW, though it does arise somewhatwhen sv's start cropping up in winter and the likelihood for exposure is high.While I am not entirely worried about my getting an sv, I used to obsessabout others giving it to me or being sick near me, while now it tends to be a passing thought and concern, without the obsessive component.Thus,my phobia really stemmedfrom my anxiety that others will get sick on or near me, as opposed to my actually being sick per se. I have a cast iron stomach, although I do confess that Istill tend toavoid*v* and work hard to control it with my mind, rather than through antinausea and *v* medications. For 31 years I was pretty successful in not *v'ing*, until one day 2 years ago when I (almost) was not.
One morning, I woke up as usual to head off to work. I had just come off of a two weekvacation and was due back to work that day. Like many, I really was not in the mood to go to workand would have been perfectly content to stay at home, but I absolutely had to go in. My assistant had started her vacation that day, and because we are only a two person office one of us had to cover it, so I had no choice in the matter. I was fine when I woke up; went about my morning chores as per usual - made coffee, fed the cats and the fish, showered and dressed, left my husband my morning note - until all hell broke loose. Just as I was heading out the door this wave of dizziness and nausea hit me so hard I had to sit down. My head was spinning and my nausea was as out of control as my gag reflex was. I was scared, upset and frightened. I had NO idea what this was, why it was happening or how I would cope with it. Fighting my nausea was hard, but I forced myself to leave once the dizziness passed. I should have stayed home, but didn't.
Throughout my long drive to work I had to pull over several times to collect myself - the gag reflex was powerful and I nearly *V* a few dozen times, but I didn't. Nothing was in me, but the sensation was awful just the same. I managed to pull into a gas station to buy some antacids - Tums - which seemed to help. By the time I got to work I was totally fine and I went about my day without giving it any thought. No obsessive worry about my getting sick at work, or in the car on my way home. No concerns that this was a dreaded sv. In fact, I simply chalked it up to an isolated incident and pretty much realized that while it wasn't pleasant, I most certainly survived from it. It wasn't the calamity I once thought it to be and it wasn't the end of the world. Whatever coping tools I created to deal with other anxieties I once had helped me in this case.
Since then, I have had other episodes of nausea, just as I have hadto clean up cat *v* (with 7 cats, there is a bit of it, I am sad to say) a few thousand times, been around people with the beginning phases of an sv, dealt withmy second husband's occasional bouts of nausea (he is an emet like me, so thankfully we "get" one another), etc. I have learned to go with the flow and not worry about it all that much. I won't lie and say I don't ever worry about others being sick near me because I do. The difference is the obsessive nature of it and my ability to deal with things I can't control. Where once I desperately needed control, I have come to realize that I can not control the powerful forces within myself - nature's own way of dealing with toxins, etc - as much as I cannot controlit in others. In a way it is very freeing for me now, as if I came to a point of acceptance that these things happen and that it is ok.Most importantly I know that life is too short and I spent far too many years obsessing over it to the point of distraction.
Be true to yourself and the rest will follow.