Do men want/like children?

[qpaulina42]

Hello there,
I know there are many men out there who love their kids etc, but is it true that there is an entire bunch of them that can't deal with being a father, even once they are? I read this awful post today where a guy was saying that he loves his kid so much that it made him physically sick and want to stay away from the kid, and he never wanted to have another one again. Apparently he loved the kid so much it drove him to drink. Does that make any sense at all! And my husband is very reluctant to have kids and I do not want him to have kids just because I want some, because I want him happy, but what if he turns out to be like this dad!?!
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[crimgoddess]

I think thatthis guyis just making excuses for his own issues that were probably there before the child was even born. I also feel really sorry for the child as he is being blamed for his father's issues.


I think a lot of the 'fear' relating to fatherhood comes out of a fear of the unknown. Many men haven't had that much experience with children, so they don't really know what to expect and what is expected of them as a father. The only remedy to that, however, is being there and realizing that yep, you can do it. A lot of men don't make that big an effort when the child is born to do diaper changes, help with feedings, etc- however the only way they will get more comfortable is to get more involved. Women have 9 months of their body no longer being their own to prepare, so mentally I think we are in a better position to accept the demands of babyhood.


I can honestly say that after a bit of a rough start, Chris is just as competant as I am with Norah- even more so in certain situations (he is definitely better at entertaining her than I am). If your husband is reluctant to have children, I think you need to sit down with him and really address why. Is it because he feels he would not be a good father? Has he not had any experience with children? Is he just not ready for the sacrifice that parenthood involves? I think that if you get to the bottom of that, you can start to address his concerns.

[little1]

Wow, that's a strange story! I think that some men may have a fear, and like crimgoddess said, it's a fear of the unknown. But for alot of the men I know who were a little leery of how they would act/react.....it turned out so different than they expected. Like my husband said...i never believed in love at first sight...not until I met my child for the first time!
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