ok guys, im having a major relapse here, things with my phobia were ok, i actually thought i was KINDA on top of evrything, but its all collapsed now, just because of one night, last night.
*sensitive ppl may not want to read this*
i dunno why, bt i was SO close to actually being sick. it was all in my throat and it felt lke my glands were gnna burst. of course, i was having amajor panic attack the whole way thru, which didnt help matters, as it felt lke my heart was burning at the same time. i was violently shaking, i felt lke i cudnt actually control it.
problem is, i dont know why i was really ill i was fine, bt then i got to bed and that was it, was up for an hour just solidly concentrting on my breathing on stop myself from v*ing! but the odd thing is, by the end i got so exhausted i was lke "go on then, be sick" but it wudnt even come. this is the 3rd time iv managed to stop myself from actually v*ing.
i think it mite hav been smthing i ate.. but im really not sure....wish i did no, because im so scared of going out the house today (and i hav to cos iv got an appntment with my social worker later) just incase the horrible feelings come back and i v*!!
eugh im so annoyed
Jen xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx