Hi Everyone

I'm a new member, and so I'll give you a history of my experience of emet

when I was really little, I would always get ill in the car on long drives, always, without fail and usually right at the end of the journey. one particular occasion, which I think was the last, I asked my parents several times to pull over and they were aiming for a car park. I didn't make it and got shouted at. lots.
Fast forward to year 6 primary school, my mum had started working again after being a staay-home mum and I started feeling s* all the time. usually after lunch, without fail, every day my mum had to come get me at least once a week, she was not happy.
went to the doctors who quizzed me about attention seeking behaviour, no one believed that I physically felt s* but never was. eventually I got over it using mind over matter

during secondary school, I struggle with eating disorders, anxiety and depression but not constantly feeling s* got over that with councelling etc but 2 years ago, it all starts up again, leaving me in my current predicament

I feel s* all the time, every waking hour of the day, and every sleeping hour too. I have a bucket by the bed and often wake up feeling s*. I've come home early from nights out, I have to know where the toilets are at any time, I don't let it affect my eating partly as a mind over matter thing trying to tell my body that I'm fine and also not wanting to slip back into not eating again. when I get anxious the slightest noise or movement by anyone triggers a wave of adrenaline and feeling s* I have been trying really hard to use mind over matter to get free from it like I did last time but the constant question remains "am I thinking I feel s* and therefore doing the right thing by staying put at my desk/doing what I'm doing or am I actually feeling s* in which case I should be running to the bathroom?"

so my question is
Should I go to the doctor to find out if there is anything physical going on
or should I just carry on the way I'm going

I feel horrible going to docs and talking about this though, I feel like they're going to accuse me of attention seeking again. and I live in the UK where you can't get to see a councellor without a wait of at least a year or a large amount of money which I don't have.

what should i do?Edited by: katzilla