What do I do now?

[katzilla]

Hi Everyone

I'm a new member, and so I'll give you a history of my experience of emet

when I was really little, I would always get ill in the car on long drives, always, without fail and usually right at the end of the journey. one particular occasion, which I think was the last, I asked my parents several times to pull over and they were aiming for a car park. I didn't make it and got shouted at. lots.
Fast forward to year 6 primary school, my mum had started working again after being a staay-home mum and I started feeling s* all the time. usually after lunch, without fail, every day my mum had to come get me at least once a week, she was not happy.
went to the doctors who quizzed me about attention seeking behaviour, no one believed that I physically felt s* but never was. eventually I got over it using mind over matter

during secondary school, I struggle with eating disorders, anxiety and depression but not constantly feeling s* got over that with councelling etc but 2 years ago, it all starts up again, leaving me in my current predicament

I feel s* all the time, every waking hour of the day, and every sleeping hour too. I have a bucket by the bed and often wake up feeling s*. I've come home early from nights out, I have to know where the toilets are at any time, I don't let it affect my eating partly as a mind over matter thing trying to tell my body that I'm fine and also not wanting to slip back into not eating again. when I get anxious the slightest noise or movement by anyone triggers a wave of adrenaline and feeling s* I have been trying really hard to use mind over matter to get free from it like I did last time but the constant question remains "am I thinking I feel s* and therefore doing the right thing by staying put at my desk/doing what I'm doing or am I actually feeling s* in which case I should be running to the bathroom?"

so my question is
Should I go to the doctor to find out if there is anything physical going on
or should I just carry on the way I'm going

I feel horrible going to docs and talking about this though, I feel like they're going to accuse me of attention seeking again. and I live in the UK where you can't get to see a councellor without a wait of at least a year or a large amount of money which I don't have.

what should i do?Edited by: katzilla

[sage]

Hi Kat,
First of all let me say that my heart goes out to you as I read your post and see that you are suffering greatly with this phobia.
It's always good to seek medical advice just to be sure you have nothing physically wrong, but from what you describe it sounds completely like anxiety.
Unfortunately, the only thing you can do if you can't afford private counselling is to get on the list as soon as you can.
I have information about emetophobia to give your doctor on my website at www.emetophobiahelp.blogspot.com
Take care
SAGE

[katzilla]

Hi Sage

Thanks for your reply, I do need to get to the doctors just never found them useful. I'll bring your information with me too so hopefully I won't be branded a lunatic and dismissed.

Thanks again

Kat