Triumph leads to downfall...

[starrysalem]

its about that time, you find something to triumph over and then something else just drags you way down. I'm at that, I was starting to think that v* didn't bother me as much anymore because I had been watching a lot of programs on the tele that used to bother me a lot like fear factor, and it wasn't bothering me.


So I figured I'd be fine for awhile until something led to my downfall, I hit that downfall the other day. It was a major one, I was in my health class and I was very tired so I was laying over my desk sleeping. The teacher made us all stand up and put our thumbs in our ears and wiggle our fingers around and make werid noises with our tounges.Which was odd... since hey knock knock mr teacher WE'RE IN HIGH SCHOOL!


Next thing I know the girl standing infront of me v* all over the floor. I sprung back and was running backwards pretty much with my brain telling me get the h*ll outta there!Sadly a cabinet got in my way and I slammed myself into it. Ow! But I didn't feel it at all, becase I was so scared.Then I realized my books were still up there! AHHHHH! EWWWWW!SoI ran back up there grabbed my stuff and threw it backinto the cabinet that I had ran into. Asked my teacher if Icouldleave and he said yeah go stand in thehallway. So I spent the rest of the class in the hallway and was shaking so badly, I almost passed out, andeveryone in myclass thought I was going to be ill too! AND I WASN'T I was just really really scared.


I have that class in a good oh' five minutes. IM FREAKIN SCARED OUTTA MY MIND TO GO! I don't know what to do!EEEEEEEEEEEEEEK!


[img]smileys/smilies_25.gif[/img]I'm really scaredI hafta go talk to my teacher.. Or I can go talk to my friend whom I like and they like me back! Yay! found that out last night..


Oh later that day THE GIRL HAD STAYED AT SCHOOL! she decided to come up to me and say that she was fine now! I just nodded flipped out didn't say a word turned pale and ran away. At least thats what Kitty told me I did. Here goes the bell.. I must flee. *scared to death*

[hippyclown]

Oh! "big big sympathy vibes!" It must be awful to get a knockback like that, but that doesn't doesn't cancel out all the stuff you did befor. I mean Fear Factor, WOW! Don't worry, it was just that one time it's not going to happen every time in that class I PROMISE you! That's not how it works. And I'm sure that as you're reading this you're remembering that your class was fine and nothing happened. Please keep us updated! [img]smileys/smilies_04.gif[/img]

[2jo2]

I'm sorry that happened to you. I can't believe the girl stayed in school!! Let us know how things turn out.

[starrysalem]

Yep, thanks for your replys. I was thinking that the class wasn't that bad, but getting through the front door was the toughest part. My best friend was walking with me and she gave me moral support about the whole situation. I started shaking really badly and I met up with her in the hall way.. she walked me to my class and I stood leaning up against the wall for awhile breathing deeply trying to calm myself down. Jamie a really nice girl from my class came up to me asked me if I was okay, because I was crying.. and then walked in infront of me. I pretty much jutted through the door and then ran around the back of the class room to my seat. I wouldn't walk through the spot. It was odd becasue I was fine talking to the girl. Turns out she got food poisioning.. from DOUBLE T DINER! DONT GO THERE! I've gotten it form there too.. not a plesant expirence. *shudders* Well yes I'll be in the chat room chillin before I hafta go ride my horses. Again thanks for your replys and support.[img]smileys/smilies_04.gif[/img]

[soluene]

Hey Starry-


I just wanted to say that you shouldn't consider this a downfall. We are all trying to recover by taking little tiny steps. Maybe looking at pictures of sick people or trying to expose ourselves by watching movies. Others might just be trying to eat at new restaurants or not be afraid to go into the grocery store. NONE of those mean having someone in front of you without warning v* on the floor!! I consider myself near recovery, but I would NOT have been able to handle that, either, because I am not ready! This phobia no longer bothers me on a day-to-day, or even week-to-week basis; but I am not yet ready witness something like that. Good for you for getting through it and keeping a positive attitude!

[starrysalem]

Good point, but I just take things harder than I prolly should becasue I have another phobia about being successful. Tts odd I know. So I tend to come down hard on myself for no reason at all.I wasglad that peoplein that class saw how upsetIwas about it because they didn't make fun of me. I told osme kids in mymath class and they all started laughing and then makingv*noises.. Not cool Me=not a happy camper. I do however work at a daycare center. I can't deal with it when the kids v* even thought its only a little bit. Just can't do it.. but I can deal with animals. *shurgs* its odd. I'm odd. *giggle*