Hello to everyone!
I'm surprised I never found this forum before now, but I'm so glad I did!
I've had emetophobia since I was about 4 years old (I am now 24) and it has ruled my life in one way or another since then.
I also have panic disorder which I've been suffering from since I was 16. The panic isn't as bad as it once was... there was a three year period where I didn't really leave my house for sometimes up to six months at a time. Now I'm able to go places and do things again...not like it was before the panic started, but every year it seems I'm able to fight my fear a little more.
The big issue with me has always been the fact the panic would make me very sick to my stomach and I'd panic about throwing up and of course it would just get worse and worse until sometimes I really did throw up because I was shaking so bad.
I basically suffered alone with my severe panic from 16-18 until the summer I turned 18 and I finally talked to my father about it (who strangely enough is a doctor but I was too scared to talk to him before then).
By that time I was so bad you couldn't even touch me because I would jump out of my skin. I couldn't talk on the phone because it would make me nervous and driving in a car and actually moving made me very ill.
I finally decided medication was the best bet for me and before the summer I was to turn 19 I started the meds. It was horrible because the meds made me feel sooooo much worse for a month before the side effects wore off. But it wasn't like I felt completely better even then... I had to work hard every day.
My brother was getting married in two months and I was going to be one of the bridesmaids... the wedding would be four hours away and I hadn't been that far from home since I was 16.
Every day after work my dad would drive me closer and closer to the place the wedding would be held and finally I made it there two weeks before the actual wedding.
To this day I'm still pushing myself to do more things I'm scared of.... every year I overcome just a little more. Most recently that has been surgery. Last October I did something I've wanted to do since I was 12 and it was really tough because I was really really really sick for four days. I didn't actually throw up but I came very close many times. It was the most horrible experience for my emetophobia of my life! And now I have to go in AGAIN next Tuesday.... I'm sooooooo SCARED. I want to put it off but I know that would be just giving in to my fear.
Anyway, that's my story in a nutshell. I don't know anyone with emetophobia and my family and boyfriend do not understand. I really need some support!Edited by: kezia
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