OT: ocd and rereading lines?

[confusedgirl]

I'm only bringing this up here because I know there's people on here who have ocd, and maybe someone can point me in the right direction on where to find info on this!

But anyways, I was diagnosed with ocd probably... 12 years ago? When I was 8 or so. My parents didn't put me on anything, and I didn't take the diagnosis seriously (I still don't completely..) and most of the things I did obsessively back then I just grew out of..

But for YEARS it's been very hard for me to read! When I was growing up I read tons.. then I got to jr high and just.. couldn't.. anymore (looking back on it, I realize this started probably a half yr or so after emet.. huh). I couldn't express what the problem was really, but it was like I was compelled to read and reread sentences over. Now, this rarely ever happens if I'm reading on the computer, or in a magazine.. just in books mostly. I didn't know why I felt this way, just that if I didn't reread the sentences, I'd feel like a horrible person, and like I was a fraud (like, if I didn't reread every last word, than I couldn't claim that I'd read the book, because I hadn't, because of that ONE MISSED WORD SOMEWHERE). I got eye examinations and reading glasses and than I just quit reading because it was so stressful. In school, I just would skim, or not do any of the reading and just bs my way along fine (for whatever reason, skimming doesn't bother me - if I have no intention of reading the book, I can skim, but if I want to have "read" the book, I have to reread!). Now, I'm reading again.. but it takes me soo long to get through anything! I like stories, but I hate the process of reading! A couple of weeks ago, I was reading while my friend was doing hw.. in two hours, I had read 20 pages. That's how long it takes me to read anything. I thought something was wrong with me but I had no clue what, until a friend with ocd told me that the compulsion to reread is a very common sign of it..

So I guess my question is, now I've figured out the problem, what now?? I'm not really ocd in other ways (I do recheck to make sure the fridge is closed and my door is locked most nights at least a few times, but I can also just ignore that and it will go away after a while.. with reading, I catch myself rereading a line without even realising I'm doing it! And then if I try to force myself to stop and move on, I get so anxious I have to close the book and take a break. And I realize that rereading is irrational but I can't stop..).. Does anyone know how to get passed this? Or know of any sources of information on ocd that talk about this? Google is turning up info on ocd in general, not just rereading.....

Thanks!

[allypally.]

hiya hunni (((hugs)))

It is so freake reading this cos I used to be the same!! EXACTLY the same!! It so weird, I have never talked about this with anyone....ever!!! It got to the stage when I was a teenager that I stopped reading everything, and didnt start again till about 5 years ago. It is soooooooooo bloody annoying!!
I honestly thought I must be the only person in the World that does this!! I got soooo stressed out!! I was so glad to be out of school!! lol

I do have some other OCD things I do, and I always have had quite a few other quirky things I need to do!!

Now when I read, I still have to make sure I read EVERY word, and if I think Ive skipped one, I gotta reread the sentence, BUT I can read really fast now, so I try and make sure I read every word anyway. I tend to get through 2 or 3 books a week!! I also have to reread till I know Ive done it. I also have the thing where I HAVE to read every word or I havnt read the book!! Also, I cant put the book down till I feel content and happy to do so, otherwise I get anxious and feel Im sort of disrespecting the book (how strange!! lol). So basically, sometimes I can be cross-eyed tired, but cant put the book down till it feels right (if that makes sense??). This might be 2 hours later!! lol. But I am a hell of a lot better than I was 10 years ago (when I refused to read) and much better than when I was at school!! I LOVE reading now, and luckily I read very fast, I dont get so hung up on my anxieties. I cant really say anything I did changed that, or I got any help or advice or anything, its just got better with time. It probably doesnt sound like im better, but honestly I am!! lol.

So the only advice I can give you is to keep on at it and hopefully it will get better in time (as mine did). You could try telling yourself positive things over and over again (even if you dont beieve it). Just repeat certain things over and over again to yourself (out loud or in your head). Sometimes positive reinforcement that way can help??

Anyway, please feel free to ask me anything!!
Big hugs xxxxxx

[marieb73]

I couldn't express what the problem was really, but it was like I was compelled to read and reread sentences over.

OMG. You too? That's one of the reasons I cannot read before I fall asleep. I used to read myself to sleep when I was young and I would read reread lines over and over until I felt it was "perfect". Even if I was dead tired. Of course, after one night of failing to do so I got sick. Not related logically, but my cure for that issue was not reading at all before bed.

[wallflower]

LOL I never actually realised I did it until I read this just now...checking I hadn't missed anything, of course. I don't think it's a major problem for me, though.

I do read train timetables dozens of times. This week I've had exams and I have to get out a ruler and pencil just to make sure the time is right and the arrival time matches up to the right station and everything. I woke up at 3 a.m. this morning and couldn't sleep until I'd done it several times more. But that's not really a problem with reading itself, just a fear of missing my exam...which stems from my fear of embarrassment if I had to CALL THE SCHOOL and explain why I'd missed it. I really should see someone; I think I have social phobia.

Sorry, long post...Long story short, most of my OCD behaviours are germ ones but I have noticed the reading thing.