Back to school

[izzybee]

Like alot of you I'm going back to school tomorrow and I am so scared about it. Its my final year where I MUST go to shcool - although I want to stay on for my alevels.It stresses me out so much. Not just becasue of the teachers and the work, but the fact that I am surrounded by so many other students. Ihate it. I'm constantly looking round to see if people feel ill and I'm so scared that I''m going to get ill in school. I've had some very close calls in the past and they were very scarry.


I hate that you are trapped - cant leave the school if you need to without explainin why and having to be picked up, cant leave the class room without 30 people asking why you had to leave etc etc. I cant take it any more. I'm always so depressed in school time. I hate it in the winter too. Colds and flu get passed around and its scarry that I know that I will get a cold from one of these people, almost certainly. I'd rather just stay at home, in my safe huose with only me and a parent in it.


Last year I only attended 45% of school. Part of that was a 3 month absense when I suffered from flu and many other colds and severe depression. It was a horrible time that seemed to last forever. But after that I only went in for afternoons.


I dont mind going into school on more ofa full time basis after the winter is over, but now I'm so scared. I dont think I can do it. I certainly cant sit in class in the winter. So I'l have to sit in these small isolation rooms for the whole winter. I dont even want to do that casue I'l have to pass people in the corridor. I'm so scared about it. Plus tomorrow even though its our first day our school is making us do lessons. Even though we dont have a clue what they are! So we wont have our books or anything. We also have a big asemberly. Ihate that I have no idea what lesson I'm going to be in tomorrow. I guess its a control issue again. I ahte this so much. Sorry I really had to vent. Expect alot more venting in the next few weeks


thanx for listening

[pink_flamingo]

I know how you feel >.> I just went to registration today. That was stressfull enough. School is to much stress. I always sit by the door in class so incase I needed to run out i could do it with the smallest amount of people noticing. I have been getting panicky and deppressed lately and school hasnt even started.


You missed 3 months of school last year? If I did that in my school I would have to re take every class -.- I always try and hold my breath in the hall so I dont breathe peoples germs.


Do you find you get sick more ( not V* sick of course but cold tipe) that most people? I seem to catch every cold and flu bug that comes through the school even though I wash my hands all the time. Maybe the anxiety messes up my immune system.

[rachelle]

Ahh Izzy, I know its hard. I really do - please try not to let it get u down. Stick at it, work hard and u will come out a star in the end. Think of how great it will feel, and how worth it it will be to finish school knowing how hard u tried and how much uv triumphed.


U r strong, and u can do it. Keep on smiling. Chin up, and do ur best. I'v got every faith in u. U'll be fine. Take care, good luck.


Rachel xxx

[Louise]

Aw! I hope things go OK for you....


Just try to concentrate on the work you are doing... that way you won't be thinking about what germs you're gonna catch, and you will do well in your exams


If you can manage to stay calm for a term, then you can stay calm for a whole year!


i had a lot less days off in yr11 than i did in yr 10... so, maybe it's like that for everyone?! lol [img]smileys/smilies_04.gif[/img]


ah..... just relax! You'll be fine!


I start college next week.... i'm SO nervous, as i don't know anyone, and i don't know my way around... i'm really scared [img]smileys/smilies_11.gif[/img]

[Jenneh]

Izzy, i know i didnt reply but i tlk to you about this on MSN, just wondering how it went? just found out i go back to school on MONDAY not tuesday! lol whoops


Jen xxxxx

[NCsmile6]

Izzy,


Hey, it's those three dreaded words every student hates to hear "back to school". Ugh! [img]smileys/smilies_11.gif[/img]And I want to be a teacher so I'll have to be there longer! LOL!! It's so stressful this time of year, just thinking about it makes me nervous!!! I know what you are going through!! Going to school is no easy task for emets!! I wish people could understand that better!! Anyway, I just wanted to know how your first day went, since I'm guessing it's either over or will be over when you are reading this? (I am so bad with this time difference thing![img]smileys/smilies_09.gif[/img]) Anyway, please do keep your chin up!!! You are strong and will be able to get through this year!! It'll take a while to adjust, but I'm sure you'll be just fine in no time!!! I know you'll be able to stick it out!!!


Take care and tell us how it went!!!


I myself am nervous about my first day...next Tuesday...YIKES!!! If only the first day of school wasn't so nerve-wracking, huh?

[izzybee]

heyy everyone. Thanx so much for replying.


ok so my first day wasnt too bad. It was nice to see everyone again etc etc. I found out the night before that we were going to have 2 lessons and an assembery that afternoon. I got a bit panicy cause I didnt know which lessons Ihad, and they may be lessons that I dont go to. Anyway I had maths and drama. I hadent been to either for a long time. But I was too scared to go anywhere else so I being brave I just went to them both! They were ok - although I was a bit scared. The assembery was fine and I sat in the middle of the isle instead of at the end!!


This morning I wokeup feeling sick. It was probabaly a mixture of nerves and feeling hungry. Anyway I got quite scared but I had about 45mins before I ad to leave so I sat down and ate some crackers and felt much better. I was very hungry about an hour into the school day too, so I think I'l eat a snack when I get into school too. Anyway..


Today (first full day back) was good. I went to every lesson, except 1 subject that I haev dropped. It was scarry but I had no where else to go. But I think that I'l be ok in class. And I've realised that its easier if I jsut put up with feeling scared - it keeps my parents, therepist and teachers happy. I had a good day, however there are always a few people who ruin the day. In drama things were ok but we had to perform infront of everyone - which I dont really mind - but it was all improvisation where you ust have to think on your feet that I'm not so confident with. I probably made a fool of myself. And in science we were sat next to people that we dont want to sit with! lol. I'm considered nice and hard working (ha) and had to sit next to the kind of person I try to avoid. And she really didnt want to sit with me and was saying nastyness to her friends like 'look what I have to sit next to' laugh laugh from friends. But who cares about them. It just gets me down a bit. But anyway I stayed in al y classes which is good!


I also had r.e (I'm sure you've heared the problems I've had with my re teacher) But she was nice today - I used to think she was nice then I got told off when I was in school 2 hours earlier than normal - But she was nice today, she was probably suprised to see me actually. She even went to get my book from the staffroom so that I wouldnt have to copy it up! V.nice of her.


Anyway that was my day. I know that its going to get harder as the weeks go on. But this isa HUGE achievement for me. I ahvent been in for a full day for about 10 months!





yay yay yay go me!

[pink_flamingo]

Good Job! Im glad you made it through a full day [img]smileys/smilies_04.gif[/img]


Whats r.e.? o.o

[izzybee]

sorry r.e stands for religious education. I go to a catholic school so have to take it in my exams where other schools dont I'm not catholic either so I find there teaching a bit strange

[Jenneh]

IZZY! i think you did fantastically well. those pupils u described in ur science lessons sounds lke they're not worth the ground u flipping tread on.


if they took the time to get to kno w you, they'd see ur actuallu a very fun and caring individual. just, they dont bother tryin to get to know the " mysterious people" tey just wanna know those kids that do drugs nd go out partying all the time.


i think its gr8 that u went to ur lessons and managed with the panic. this really is a good start to ur year... and i hope it carries on lke that!


welldone -- uv had it bad -- but ur a fighter [img]smileys/smilies_01.gif[/img]


Jen xxxxxxxx

[izzybee]

Thanx so mcuh - and thats right about the people. They assume I'm really boring casue I'm not like them but thats not the case - and I guess I shuldnt judge them that just casue they go out and probably do drugs - doesnt mean that they are nasty people. But atleast I'm not nasty about it!


Its been a good start. I didnt think that I'd get abck to school so quickly. Next week will be interesting casue I've only been in for 1 full day. I've decided I'm going to go to every lesson next week. And then have 1 week where I can take a bit of a break or something - I am dropping a gcse so I have 5 free lesosns per fortnight. And on a thursday I have a double lesson that I miss so I might make that my morning off. and work that morning from home. But we'l see. I just want to get through 1 week with no absenses. I'm keeping a record of when I'm in and when I'm not and I can tick off lessons with pride now! [img]smileys/smilies_04.gif[/img]


Its hard and I'm going to find it a struggle but Its something I really do want to work for. And its nice for teachers to be nice to me! Welcoming me back which is good [img]smileys/smilies_01.gif[/img]any praise is good lol. Something rare from the last year or so when I was just being told off casue I wasnt in and had work to finish etc. My aim for the year is to win the progress prize at the end of the year! I always have my stupid little goals and this is certainly something I want to work for now! [img]smileys/smilies_04.gif[/img]


yay go me! (I havent had a REAL triumph for a long while[img]smileys/smilies_01.gif[/img] )


I've even done my homework so I have the weekend free! oh and I'm going to be going on a coach on thursday for sport [img]smileys/smilies_12.gif[/img]. But I'm going to go! I wonder how long I will be positive for? 1 weeks maybe!?

[Jenneh]

IZZY you are speaking so FANTASTICALLY!!


but remebr, if u dont make every lesson next week, and miss a couple, its not the end of the world, right? you've stil moved forwards loads.


the school shud give ya a medal for being so brve [img]smileys/smilies_02.gif[/img]





there u r


Jen xxxxxxxx

[izzybee]

lol thanx for the award.[img]smileys/smilies_04.gif[/img]If I dont make every lesson then I'm not going to be too down about it - cause I'm trying my hardest. I only hope that others wont think that I'm cured now and I'm just skipping lessons (re teacher! and parents and everyone) But thats there problem!

[Jenneh]

i know wot u mean Izzy! bt if they do think ur suddenly cured cause they see you out, they have no clue, and i guess sumtimes its better that they stay that way!! as innocent as .... as .... i dunno... as fullstop. lol


Jen xxxxxxxxxxx

[pink_flamingo]

If you can make it through a whole day than so can I ^^ Well I can at least try :P


Im glad school is going so well for you! Hopefully it will work out the same for me. Of course, I dont have an option to takemiss lessons.[img]smileys/smilies_11.gif[/img]


You definatly deserve the brave medal [img]smileys/smilies_04.gif[/img]lol

[izzybee]

Believe me if I could go to school then most people can. Sometimes all we can do is try - and I've realised that its better to try than to run away and hide at home. But its taken me a year to put that thaught into practise!


thanx for the bravery award! I am honered!

[Galadriel]

Hey there!


I know school can be hard. Im in college now (not living there tho) and I hate it when my stomach acts up or my IBS and it shakes me up and I lose confidence and get afraid of it happening again. Well for instance last nite was a rough stomach/IBS nite, and I just think what if that had happened in school? It just scares me, and course in college if you miss more than 3 classes you get a warning that your gonna be kicked out of class if you dont keep attending (theyre harsh like that!)

[izzybee]

wow that is harsh! I'm starting to get scared of the week ahead again - I know that I can do this - I spend the whole day in school on firday - but I guess its the waiting for it to happen - once I'm there I will hopefully be ok. I just hope that I dont feel sick in the morning. I did on firday but it was just IBS and stress. But I'm scared that I wont be able to tell if I'm ill or not. I think thats what scares me the most. hmmmmm - scarry thaught! Its annoying casue I have to get up very ealry so I can be awake and decide if I'm ok or not before I travel to school. but I guess its a confidence thing. its so scarry and I hate being forced under this stress - school is too forced - atleast thisis my last year wheren I MUST go to school. But school always gives the impression that you MUST attend, you cant miss a day and you cant leave the room let alone the school if yuo need to. I hate it!


Anything except v* maybe!

[Galadriel]

Hey there!


I know what you mean. Its like you feel the pressure to attend classes and be there and do good, and I know that trapped feeling you can get. Its hard I know, it would be much easier if I felt I could leave at any point and it would be okay. I think part of the reason its so tough is it is kinda forced. I mean granted I dont HAVE to go to college, but if I ever wanna be more than a burger flipper than I had best get a degree. I know its tough, we have to fight something on a daily basis most people take entirely for granted.

[Louise]

sorry r.e stands for religious education. I go to a catholic school so have to take it in my exams where other schools dont I'm not catholic either so I find there teaching a bit strange

We had to do it for GCSE too! and we're not a religious school....


I somehow magically managed to get an A [img]smileys/smilies_03.gif[/img]whereas i was predicted a D, and i hadn't revised [img]smileys/smilies_05.gif[/img]But i'm not complaining [img]smileys/smilies_02.gif[/img]lol

[izzybee]

lol I'm predected and E! But that was out of spite from my re teacher who hates me casue I dont go to lessons. But now I have determination to aim for that A!


Galadriel - its awful that everything is forced. School/collage is alot harder for emets than people would think. Everywhere else we go - like shopping or the cinima we can always leave if we need to. Its so hard to be sat somewhere and you jsut cant leave - or if you do u'l have to suffer for it. Its not right!

[Galadriel]

I hear you Izzy! It doesn't seem fair, but sadly thats the way it is, and work can also be rough like that, because most bosses want you there working whether your dead sick or not. I dont understand the humanity in that. It doesn't help anyone, you or them, if your made to go in when your sick or dont feel good for fear of punishment of missing something or getting bad grades. I mean I can understand the responsibillity to come, but your not feeling good then your not feeling good.

[giff1949]

Hi Everyone!

Izzy - great job for your first day back.

It has been a long time since I was in school but I still remember how scary those first few days were when you are getting used to everything and everyone. And then as the year goes by, all the emet issues there are to face. I feel for all of you who are now going back to school. I will be thinking about you all. Going to school is a stressful event for anyone, but you all can do it. Even if you have little setbacks don't get discouraged. Try to take each day as it comes and you will get through. I know this may be easy for me to say since I am not faced with it but I really do remember the terror and fear involved.

Good luck to everyone and try not to get down on yourselves when you have a bad day.

Debbie</font>Edited by: giff1949

[crazybeautiful]

WHOO. I'm excited to go back to UNI! lol. I'm sure I won't be when I get loads of homework..lol.


Good to hear you did okay with your first say Izzy.


Rememeber were all here for ya!

[sunshine16]

I have to go back tomorrow...


Arg and I have to take the bus all f*ing year! It makes me sooo mad...


And on the first day, everyone will be nervous and prolly v* on the bus cuz of nerves...or motion sickness...and every year some one v*s on the first day...theres no escaping it...[img]smileys/smilies_06.gif[/img]

[izzybee]

I hope you're first day back was ok laura.


I just finished my urm.... 4th full day back at school. I'm finding school menatlly and physically exhausting. I am using so much nervous energy up, worrying about cathcing viruses and hearing people coughing around me - thats the worst thing for me at the moment. But also things are going quite well - I've been into all my lessons which is a HUGE ACHIEVEMENT for me - 4 days in a row!!! [img]smileys/smilies_04.gif[/img]


I had a meeting yesterday with my therepist, mum, head of year and special needs co-ordinator. A large group! My therepist explained some stuff about helping me and sympathising with me and stuff like that. I've also got a place to go if I need to get out of lessons and a place to go in my free lessons too (I've had to drop a GCSE). urm... I'm also getting a card that basically is a pass to get me out of lessons if I need to, so I wont need to do any explaining and can just leave.


I'm going to find school harder and harder and need to sort out a plan for the winter months but for the time being its going well and i'm almost enjoying getting back into full time education again.


Believe me - if I can go to school full time from missing 50% of school last year, then anyone can do it! I know that there alot of school age people here who want to just give up. But itsSO worth getting back into school and just going for things. You have to just say f* this phobia I'm going to learn and get on with my life! The last week has been a complete turn around for me and I love my new attitude! I jsut want to get on with my life and be 'normal' or atleast live a more normal life. My emet is still here and will be until I have more therpay sessions, but I think that avoiding feelings isnt going to help - I think that this is the most valuable thing I've learnt. Obviously I f I'm feleing ill and know that my sick feleings arnt anxiety then I'm not going to school - I'm not at that stage yet and everyone needs a day off somtimes. But if I feel sick and know that its just me thinking of the day ahead - then I'm not going to give up anything becasue of that. And its almost a learning experiance to do something even though you dont want to, or are feeling scared. That way - when the real time comes - you'l be so much more relaxed as feeling a bit sick and nervous becomes normal, and when those anxious feeling dissapear altogether (which I hope they will) then you know that you have really done so well.


I hope that my good moods will continue. School is hard and I'm not going to pretend that I find it easy. But I'm getting there


[img]smileys/smilies_01.gif[/img][img]smileys/smilies_04.gif[/img][img]smileys/smilies_01.gif[/img][img]smileys/smilies_04.gif[/img][img]smileys/smilies_01.gif[/img]

[Jenneh]

i keep having panic attacks at skl now. had about 5 already. only been my 4th day back.


eugh [img]smileys/smilies_11.gif[/img]


Jen xxx