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Thread: I overcame it

  1. #1
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    Hi all. I’m a fifteen year old girl. I could remember so vividly how those days were like when I was struggling with emetophobia. I understand that there are still thousands of people out there with the same trouble and problem, and I would like to share it with you, in hope of giving all of you out there courage to overcome it, because I, too, experienced the feeling of losing hope and the frustration of having to deal with it alone.

    From I was six years old onwards, I couldn’t remember a single day where I wasn’t affected by simply a five lettered word “vomit”. Like most phobias, it all probably started with a traumatic incident that stays etched in my mind, traumatizing and affecting me so much that I start to suffer from emetophobia.

    I remember vomiting in class when I was six, with the entire class looking at me like a freak, avoiding me, and the teacher hurling mean and hurtful words at me. It was bad enough that I had to throw up, and to make the matter worse, the teacher started to accuse me and told everyone in the class how I was ‘stubborn, stupid, dirty’. Instead of getting someone to help me, or clean me up, or anything as nice as saying comforting words to me, the teacher shouted across the room “Everyone, see how dirty and disgusting she is? GO TO THE TOILET AND VOMIT! Don’t vomit here, it’s disgusting! Why are you so stubborn? Everyone, isn’t see the most stubborn person you can find? Someone tell her to go to the toilet!” And then everyone starts to shout at me, and the cleaner starts to scold me for vomiting.
    Even till now, the image of me being ostracized, scolded and accused just because I threw up still gives me the creeps. It was probably since then that the thought of throwing up starts to give me a huge panic attack. I don’t remember any time since then that I could eat like a normal person, behave like a normal person, and think like a sane person.

    Ever since that incident, I remember myself practically starving to death, not being able to eat, and doing a list of weird rituals which I though could save me from any risks of throwing up.

    I would first feel starved, and then when I look at the food, I grow sick. I feel that I would vomit if I ate the food, and start to have another panic attack. It happened over and over at each meal, every single day. And because of that, my parents spent thousands of dollars bringing me to hospitals all over the world just to find out what was wrong with me. And, I seriously mean, all over the world. They would feed me from things like medicine that cures gastric, tablets and pills that aids digestion and stuff, to chinese herbal medicine and other s***s. It was just insane. Even though I didn’t know that the root of my problem was emetophobia, I knew clearly deep down that what my parents were doing were not of any help at all.

    I remember having weird behaviours. Like, I wouldn’t look into pails, plastic bags, toilet bowls or even sinks. I wouldn’t brush my teeth with toothpaste. I feel uncomfortable licking my lips. I look for the expiry date of whatever food I eat, I check for raw meat in things I might consume, I check up the internet for ways to avoid food poisoning. And I remember that even though I wanted to check on the internet how I should avoid vomiting, I couldn’t, because I was scared of typing the word in the search engine. I wouldn’t watch any TV shows that might have the slightest link to vomiting scenes. I get panic attacks sitting on buses, cars, trains, airplanes, boats or any form of transportation, feeling that I get car sick, air sick etc. even though I didn’t feel the slightest bit dizzy. There are a million weird behaviors that I had all those times, and I seriously felt like a freak.

    From my own feelings, experiences, and TV documentaries that I watched, I knew that I had OCD, depression, and I knew I was scared of vomiting. I knew myself better than anyone else, and I know that there was something wrong with me. After many years, I eventually looked

  2. #2
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    What a great, hopeful story! Thank you!
    For more info about emetophobia and treatment:

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  3. #3
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    May 2008
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    Fifteen years and you have gone through so much! Your story really is great, and gives me hope for the therapy I've just started. Thanks for sharing, I love reading stories like these because they fill me with hope that one day I can share my own success.
    The waiting seems eternity
    a day will dawn of sanity.

  4. #4
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    Jul 2008
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    Philippines
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    THAT WAS UNBELIEVABLE! I AM EMETOPHOBIC BUT NOT AS MUCH AS YOU WERE BEFORE. I AM JUST SCARED IN VOMITING BUT I REALLY DON'T KNOW WHY. IN MY CASE NOW, I AM VERY UNCOMFORTABLE IN FEELING NAUSEA. AND IT WOULD REALLY FREAK ME OUT! BUT I'M HELPING MYSELF BY IMAGINING THINGS THAT WOULD REDUCE MY ANXIETIES. THE ONLY PROBLEM IS THAT I HAVEN'T TOLD ANYONE, MOST ESPECIALLY MY PARENTS, ABOUT THIS PROBLEM. I KNOW THAT THEY WILL NOT UNDERSTAND ME. CAN YOU TELL ME SOME OF YOUR TECHNIQUES IN CONTROLLING SUCH ANXIETIES? PLEASE! 'COZ I CAN'T AFFORD TO GET A THERAPIST FOR ME 'COZ I AM STILL A STUDENT AND I DON'T WANT TO BOTHER MY PARENTS ABOUT THIS THING! THAT'S WHY I AM JUST ASKING SOME HELP FROM OTHER EMETS! HOPE YOU WOULD HELP ME! THANKZ!
    friendship,
    elainne

  5. #5
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    Hey, i understand the situation you are in now.
    when i went through the therapy, i was introduced of many methods to overcome emetophobia and also to calm your anxieties. It's tough at first, but with the hardwork and determination, soon it will be much easier, and before you know it, you might already be cured.

    1. when you are feeling really nervous/anxious/having a panic attack, you can try to sit on a comfortable place and try to relax. (this sounds impossible) But you have to just stop thinking about feeling nauseous or the idea that you will definitely vomit. Block out all vomiting thoughts. Just sit down, close your eyes, and breathe in deeeeeply through your nose, hold it for a sec, and breath out through your mouth. Doing this might not be of a significant help, but it definitely helps you calm down in a nervous situation. You may also search online for other breathing techniques to understand more.

    2. (here are the 'sessions' i went through in a therapy
    usually, a phobia is caused by a traumatic incident somewhere in your life related to the phobia you suffer from. Search in your mind if you have any of this incidents that might have left a deep impression, thus causing the phobia. Although this requires someone to help you, but i think it will be alright if you do this alone: recollect that incident in your mind, and vividly see how everything happened. E.g. think in your mind how the disaster happened, how you felt when you vomited etc.
    use your senses to feel the past incident e.g. think of how the sour regurgitate was like in your mouth, how everyone around you reacted, what you heard, what you felt, the feeling of vomiting etc. This helps you face what you fear, and comfort yourself.

    3. start of by writing the word 'vomit' over and over again. it might feel uncomfortable, because you might be really scared of seeing/hearing/writing the word. but that's how you overcome it. use a pen/pencil and start writing 'vomit','throw up', 'barf', 'puke' etc. on a plain paper in huge capital letters over and over, until you dont feel that scared of writing the word anymore.

    4. you may draw pictures of vomiting people, or anything related to vomiting. do this together with writing the word, until you dont feel nervous or disturbed.

    5. you will have to take this slowly, but it helps. go to gettyimages and type the word vomit. look at each picture for a long time. it's again, really frightening, but after a while, you will grow numb.

    6. until you feel that you are ready to face vomiting, you should do the ones above over and over. This time, you can start to watch a video online of people vomiting. start of with your computer screen turned to the dimmer mode, mute the sound from the video, and watch vomiting video from a long distance away. gradually get closer to your computer, brighten the screen, and slowly turn on the sound. this has to be TAKEN REALLY SLOWLY. if you force yourself to watch it even though you already cannot take it, it'll just make you even more panicky. so you can start of with watching a video of people vomiting water on your computer, sitting 3 meters away from the screen. you get the idea.

    7. you may try this. (it might be a waste of precious food though) when having your meal, mix the food around. say if you're eating a beef steak with some veg, cut them all up and mix it around until it doesnt look so appetizing, take this slowly, but you will realise that mixed up or not, your food still tastes the same.

    these are some of the things i did in my therapy, it might not totally be suitable for you. but i believe that you have to learn to face your fear if you want to overcome it, so do that by exposing yourself to vomiting.
    most importantly, trust that you can do it. it takes a long time, but it will be cured. a phobia is actually nothing much.

    i understand how you know that your parents will never understand. my therapist and i explained to my pare

 

 

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