I have confidence in sunshine, I have...

[lyntess]

I realized the other day that, after learning more about emetophobia (and specifically, OTHER emetophobics), I have gained a sense of rather satisfying confidence.

Confidence in what? Well, this would sound daffy on any other website (and actually, just using the word "daffy" is rather ridiculous, no matter what website you're on)... but confidence in my ability to NOT v*.

It started with seeing somewhere (I think gumdropper posted it) that Pepto Bismal is actually strong enough to counteract a small dose of ipecac. And I thought, "Damn... between my extreme self control (hah) and my ability to buy lots and lots and lots of Pepto Bismal, I don't think I'll ever have to t*u* again."

Last night, I was extremely miserable. I'm not sure if it was the trip to Burger King (for the first time in over a month) or the experiment with pancake mix and the mixrowave, OR the tummy bug that's being handed around at work that did it, but I had horrible lower abdomen cramping, d* and waaaaves of n*. But I didn't freak out, I didn't even really worry-- I didn't LIKE the feeling, naturally, but I didn't get too wound up about it.

I took a moderate serving of Pepto, curled myself around a pillow to help the pain, and just tried to go to sleep while fighting the n*. I only lost maybe an hour and a half of sleep, as opposed to the usual five or six!

So yeah. Feels kinda good.
If I could find a way to banish n* for good, it would feel even better... but for now I'll just be grateful for the confidence.[img]smileys/smilies_14.gif[/img]

[jandub]

I often think that too, that I am really confident I won't vomit so I fear it less maybe. But what I really really want someday is to be confident that if I do get so nauseas that I need to vomit, I will "allow" myself to. I've been so sick before and fought it so long that I actually wanted to do it, and let my body take over and just heaved and did not actually bring anything up. I was mad, because I went through the motions, but got nothing out of it. And, continued to feel like I was dying for a two more days. (the stomach virus of 2005, eek) I so badly want to be like my husband, who just doesn't fear it. He doesn't like it, but he doesn't hate it either. I cannot imagine what life would be like if I didn't think about this every day. Better, for sure. I will get there someday, and I hope that you do too! How great would it be to just do it and get it overwith and be done...my brain just will not let it happen anymore, I've fought it tooth and nail one too many times. Which, is comforting on one hand for obvious reasons, and maddening on another.[img]smileys/smilies_12.gif[/img]

[xj220]

I completely agree, knowledge is power. I think I'm on the road to success but it's not easy and there's the ups and downs. There's times where I get better and am not too worried, then either something happens or whatever and then I worry every moment and then it gets better again. I'd like to think the lows are getting less and the highs are getting higher.