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  1. #1
    Join Date
    May 2008
    Location
    United States
    Posts
    846

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    I've been doing the desensitization for the past few weeks with my therapist. Though we're only about halfway through it, I think I'm already starting to see some progress.

    For example last week I went out to eat with my boyfriend's family. There was a little girl at the table next to us who at first glance I thought she was sick. She kept asking her mother to take her to the bathroom and kept hugging her and whining.

    Rather than going into a panic and obsessing over whether or not she'd be sick, I decided not to make a big deal and just calm down and keep to myself. Sure enough the girl wasn't sick at all, just really annoying and bratty.

    There are many other little triumphs like this that have been happening the past few weeks, including my own sister having a virus that gives her terrible cramping and d*. I haven't panicked at all, I'm not even worried about catching it.

    The biggest thing though is that I am now considering trying to force myself to sit through and try to watch a v* scene on TV or in a movie. A few weeks ago I NEVER would have even considered such a thing, but now I feel like I may be brave enough to do it. I feel like I can force myself to watch it and convince myself, there's nothing wrong with this, this is normal, nothing's going to happen to you, there is nothing scary about this.

    This is very little progress if any, but even the smallest bits feel like a big success to me and gives me hope!
    The waiting seems eternity
    a day will dawn of sanity.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jul 2008
    Location
    United Kingdom
    Posts
    30

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    Wow you should be sooo proud. Its the small steps that add up to make the best result. You have to get your life back in order and thats not gonna come crashing down out of the sky in one big package, your doing it the right way, this means that you can repeat these small steps over and over until they are natural, no interference from the old stuff. That what i do now, i get the feelings and worries i used to get, but i flip it on its head and say "so what"!! I use what I have learned, just like your doing now!

    You are very brave.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Jun 2008
    Location
    United States
    Posts
    399

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    That is positively AWESOME, Wacky, you should be completely thrilled with yourself! Not panicking about a Warning Child in a restaurant? Giant gold star, that's one of my biggest issues! You're doing fantastic.

    I make myself watch youtube videos of v* every now and then on youtube. It's ghastly, but I can handle it because it's not in person... you know? :-P
    Normalcy is merely indicative of a lack of courage.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    May 2008
    Location
    United States
    Posts
    846

    Default

    More progress today! I went to New York City and was on the Subway during rush hour (uh oh) and as we were getting off a train and walking to transfer to another, I saw that in one car of the train I got off of had v* in it!!! It most definitely was v*. I haven't actually seen v* in a miraculously long time but I know this was it. I even was able to get a wiff of its very distinctive smell.

    AND I DIDN'T PANIC! I thought about it a lot for a while after I saw it, but I didn't panic or start feeling sick or faint like I did once from seeing someone v* years ago. I felt very proud of myself!
    The waiting seems eternity
    a day will dawn of sanity.

 

 

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