How do you get anyone to understand?

[natalie184]

I really love my boyfriend and I feel like we really do understand eachother, but I can not explain this to him. I have never really tried explaining it to anyone until tonight, I know I have a million questions. I had such a long talk with him to get it, tried so hard to explain.

He just really hurt me. He basically said I get really selfish when I feel sick and say really mean things. I wish he knew that it is nothing against him I just get nervous. I do not even notice what I do or say. I do not want this on purpose.

So has anyone ever had success in explaining?

[emeticpotion]

my mom understands because she experienced my childhood
better than anyone (except me) - which is when my emetophobia began. it's
always way, way more complicated than it sounds and i think as emets, a lot
of time we don't understand why we are the way we are, so it's hard to
explain that you just feel this way or to prove how intense it actually feels.

i was dating my girlfriend for six months until she actually saw the intensity
manifest in a giant panic attack (in a moment where i thought i might be
sick at a restaurant) which she witnessed as physically and emotionally
exhausting. it's hard for anyone to understand it, or to empathize.</font>

[emeticpotion]

oh yeah, and i am totally rude when i feel sick, a real spazz. and if someone
else is going to be sick, i become so selfish. my girlfriend gets frustrated
because i ask her a thousand questions about her discomfort and she says,
"you don't careif i am sick, you just want to make sure you're not going to
catch it!" it's true. plus, she says that i overanalyze all of my aches and pains
and to not analyze hers.

geez. i know my body so well from all of the analysis.

[emeticpotion]

oh and natalie, it's normal to be irritable when your have panic attacks and
are nervous. it's one of the symptoms.

[twilightrose]

My dad thinks it's all in my head. I flip out about something and he's all, "Oh, you're so paranoid. Calm down." Like, we went whale watching yesterday and I freaked out about a million times and got that more times than I care to count.

It's hard, because non-phobics simply don't 'get' the intensity of panic attacks and fear we have.

I'm sorry about your friend, though. It sucks when your friends don't even try to understand.

[sage]

I love that - "all in your head". Where else would a mental illness reside? I wonder if his daughter had a brain tumor if he'd say "it's all in your head"???

Anyway, it IS hard to explain to others in a way they can understand. Sometimes it helps to print out the article I wrote for this purpose, and give it to folks to read. You can find it at www.emetophobiahelp.blogspot.com or at the top of the Q&A thread on a sticky post.