How do I help my daughter?

[boo's mom]

Hi, I'm Boo's mom and am new to this discussion board. "Boo" is
my daughter and 10 years old. She is crippled by the fear of
throwing up. Not so much herself, but other people throwing
up. She started school yesterday and awoke to a full blown
anxiety attack. This started for her in 1st grade. I'm not
sure what set it off. We've had her to doctors and on meds and
now she is seeing her 3rd counselor. I took her to Children's
Hospital in Pittsburgh to seek help. She is a lovely little girl
who loves to sing, plays the Clarinet and taking dance class.
She's a wonderful artist for her age and very intuitive. But
school is hell for her. She will not spend the night anywhere
either. She is now visiting friends at their house as long as she
doesn't have to stay over. Many people do not understand Boo's
problem, but I drive her to school everyday and hurt when she makes me
reassure her every morning before school and every night before bed,
"Will I get sick?" "Will someone else get sick?" This is a
cruel disorder. What helps?! Are there specific meds that can
aid an individual suffering from this disorder? What kind of
therapy is most useful in combating these fears? Anything you
can offer, I will most appreciate.

Boo's Mom

[sweetfreak]

Hello, boo's mom. First, I think it is wonderful that you concerned about your daughter, and that you understand that it is something she can't just "get over" in a day. The best kind of therapy is cognitive behavioral with gradual exposure to her fear. More importanly, in my experience, is that you find a therapist for her that is very caring and that she can build a trusting relationship with. As far as meds, I don't know. But, the fact that you are seeking help for her while she is still young hopefully may help her to learn how to deal with her fears sooner.


By the way, I am 33 and I have had this phobia since I was 6 years old. Also, you should check out the Treatments forum. Some very useful information by Sage, who was cured of her emetophobia.


Good luck!


Kim

[boo's mom]

Thanks Kim. Yes, this new therapist is working on the cognitive
behavior. She is also seeing a child psychiatrist in 2 weeks who
deal especially with children. Thanks also - I'll check out the
treatments forum. I hope you are doing well yourself. It is
good to know Boo and I are not alone.



Boo's mom

[Jenneh]

that is absolutely lovely to hear that ur so concerned and willing to bend over backwards for your daughter.... *wishes u were my mum* =P


its fantastic ur there to support here and reassure her that thers no need for her to be sick but i cn understand it must be quite hard toi see ur daughter in so much distress.


all i can say, is i hope the therapists she sees are able to help her! how old is ur daugher?


Jen xxxxxxxxx

[sweetfreak]

Boo's mom,


Yes, I was so relieved when I found this website earlier this year. I never knew other people suffered from this phobia. I thought I was just weird.


Thank you for asking about me. I am doing much better than when I first signed up here. My emet was never very bad until a few years back when I started getting upset stomachs a lot from other stresses. Now that the upset stomachs are better, I am working on controlling my phobia and anxiety.


I wish the best for you and your daughter. I am so sorry that she has to suffer with this fear as well. I bet she is so sweet, though, and from what you have said she is very creative and smart. All wonderful qualities. [img]smileys/smilies_01.gif[/img]


Peace.


Kim

[chloe]

I just want to say that you seem very understanding and are helping your daughter in the best possible way by being able to see the problem. I started doing emet beahiours from about the age of 6/7 (am now 22).... I fear germs as well as emet because of the v* germs and stuff out there. My worse time was studying for GCSE's and A'levels and being away from home in my first year at uni as it was a situation away from my parents who knew what I was like when people were unwell...


just by being there for your daughter when she's panicing and worried you are being a great help. your daughter is very lucky to have such support.


Maybe in a few years (or when you think she's ready) introduce her to this site - esp if she stillsuffers.


I hope your daughter's therapists help her to manage and control her fear to a manageable level. Its horrible living in fear of the following day and what MIGHT happen. I've never felt so rough as when I wasWORRIED about the IFs and MAYBEs of the night and following day...life becomes a struggle when its like that.

[Melikasa]

I am so pleased that you looked into help for your daughter and so soon. There are many people here that will do what they can to help you and your daughter through this.
I am a 25 year old emet mom that just discovered that there was such a things as emet a year ago. I have had this since I was about 18 months. A long time I know but it was my mom that told me about how I freaked out from that age on when i told her about what I found out about emet.
Anyways I think her seeing a counsellor, your support and her knowing that she isn't the only one will be a great help to her. I wish I had some idea as to how you can get her to go to school with no worries. The good thing is that she is at the age now and in a grade where kids aren't just going to get sick in front of her.
The treatment forum is a great place to get ideas. It is perfect because as with a lot of things what works for one won't work for another but the options are there. It may help her to have someone that is a comfort to her at school. A teacher, a good school mate. So if she has a panick at school she doesn't make it worse for herself by pannicking more because she is alone.
Welcome to the site

[terified girl]

It's just so sad to hear that such a sweet and innocent child has to suffer like this, of course many children in this world suffer and unfortunately there is not much that we can do, but to hear about it does hurt.


Its amazing how understanding and concerned you are for her, my mom is too but not at first, she didn't know what to think, and would often get angry at me for not eating out of fear but she came to understand the best she could and was always there for me, and its so nice to hear it from others to, I don't like to hear about the cruel animals out there who don't and won't care to understand and be helpful......I do hope that with all this treatment you are getting for your daughter that she gets better quickly and maybe grows up not remembering too much of this horrible fear, and please do give us updates on how she is doing with her cognitive therapy, I tried it and I couldn't go thru with it, I hope she can.


Take care and good luck


Sonia

[youngemet222]

Hmmm...I think that it is so great that you understand your daughter and got help for her. My mother isn't really supportive. I mean, she tries to calm me down when I hve a panic attack, but she doesn't understand me. So, I think it is good that "Boo" has you as a mother. Now, my school has a school psychologist or something like that. Does your daughter's school have one? If it does, you can probably try talking to him/her and see if they can help in any way when your child gets a panic attack at school. Also, try talking to teachers at the school and see if anyone can help and try to see if any of them has ever had Emetophobia and gotten treatment or can give her advice on how to deal with panic attacks during class. Do anything to make sure she doesn't feel like she is alone. When I get panic attacks at school, I usually do not try to seek help because I'd be embarrassed and I feel that I'd recover on my own, but now that my emet is getting worse, it is not good to do that. Try to tell your daughter not to be embarrassed to tell the teacher when she is feeling a panic attack because, hopefully, the teacher would be understanding enough and let her calm down where other kids will not see her panic and make fun of her.


I know all my suggestions are stupid and they are not creative, but that's what I think you should try to do.


Welcome to the site.


Elizabeth (Lizzy)

[rhinoseri]

Hello, and welcome. 'Tis great that you're helping your daughter like this. I really wish my mom would do that too. My phobia started the summer when I was about to go into 1st grade, and now I'm 12, and in 8th grade. So yeah, look through the treatment threads, and maybe you'll find some information there.

[Galadriel]

Hey there,


First off its great that you care a lot about your daughter. Sadly many on here have less than caring parents (myself included, just my dad tho, who I live with) and really they could care less about finding a therapist, let alone listen and realize their child is legitimate about it.


Your daughter's fears are real (as Im sure you know) and when she asks you all the time about if shes gonna get sick, I think this is common with emets specially as kids. I did the same thing to my parents and about drove them nuts. Even if i wasnt feeling sick and felt fine, I felt the need to ask as just a reassurance thing. Logically it of course can't do anything to prevent, but in the mind of the phobic, especially as a child, I think its like a security feeling. Like if mom says its gonna be ok then it will. I know this is how I felt. I felt like if someone said "your fine" even if they didnt really care and just said it to get me away from them, I still felt better because i just felt like i could go on with my day. Of course this isn't logically sound, and in a way doesn't really help. Your doing very good just helping her get a therapist, because they do know how to deal with these things. Just keep being supportive, it helps to have someone that you can rely on and feel safe with, and your daughter probably gets that from you, which is a good thing. Edited by: Galadriel