Why and What?

[evie16]

Hello
I am a long suffering "emetophobe", 22 and trying to forge a life for myself...but having yet another "dip" down due to panicing about finding a job, being able to get through a shift without panicing, or the dreaded experience itself, not being able to spend time alone or sleep alone.....

My question is this.....I have never experience anyone who is scared of vomiting because they fear they may choke, does anyone else fear this?

I fear it also because it feels awful, as far as I can remember - its a long time since I've experienced true nausea, but every day I feel 'sick', I fear eating as all food is potential vomit, life feels black and not existing would be preferable to the great pain and exhaustion I feel everyday....

I have read the testomonies of those who have beaten this phobia, and maybe part of my problem is that I cannot visualise never being scared, because it is what scares me the most, and like a cancer effects all other areas of my life, mainly because I cannot bear being alone 'in case', as I believe on some level that I need someone, anyone, there to look after me and I guess save my life, as I will choke....

I would greatly appreciate any comments, or reassuring comments [img]smileys/smilies_06.gif[/img]
Thank you

[evie16]

I must add - it may sounds like I'm intimating harming myself - I assure you I am not - sorry if anyone got that impression, as its pretty inappropriate!