Hi, my name is Christine and I am a nineteen year old college student in
New York City. Ever since I could remember I absolutely hated throwing
up, but as I've gotten older it's gotten much worse. When I first started
reading about this phobia I thought that what I had was a lot less severe
and wasn't sure if it would even be considered emetophobia.I wanted to
share my experiences here because I feel like you all would understand
unlike most people who look at me like I have five heads.
When I feel nausea coming on I start freaking out, I start shaking,
sweating, getting the chills and I need my mother next to me. I shake so
badly that I look like I'm having a seizure. I even went to a college 20
minutes away from my house so that god forbid I would be close to
home--thankfully it is a fantastic college, but still nonetheless I am very
close to home and my mom can be there in 20 minutes if I need her.
When I'm home and with her I feel better than if I am alone in my dorm--
I CANNOT be in my dorm when I feel ill...not even if my roommates are
there--I can't handle it. I need my mom and my house. Also, when I feel
really ill I have to sleep in my moms bed with her--yes I am nineteen
years old and, at times, I feel absolutely ridiculous. I don't know, but I like
her next to me.
I usually take benadryll when I feel nauseous because I'll fall asleep and
then I won't feel sick anymore. More recently I have been using my
prescription Clonazepam because I have a Severe Anxiety Disorder as well
as a tendency towards Depression. Clonazepam works the best when I
feel ill.
I was accepted into a Study Abroad Program this Spring and I am not
going--one of the main reasons is that if I get sick over there I am alone.
I got food poisoning from a particular dinning hall and I haven't eaten
there since except for Sunday Brunch where I make my OWN waffle. I now
inspect chicken before I put any of it in my mouth. I will not eat beef in
the dinning halls nor will I eat food that is sitting there and you can take.
I will only eat food cooked in front of me.
I try to think about when this all began and it kind of dates back to when I
was in the 3rd grade and I had an allergic reaction to a UTI medication
and woke up every morning feeling ill and for about three months doctors
didn't know what was wrong with me. It ended up that because of all of
the medications my bowel was impacted. The perfume my mother wore
on that day to the hospital still makes my stomach turn and even though
it was her favorite she doesn't wear it AT ALL anymore.
As for foods I cannot eat calamari, frozen cheesecake or raisins that are
cooked in things, but I can eat dry raisins in trail mix and if I put them in
yogurt but that is it. As stated earlier I can't eat food that has been pre-
cooked and is sitting there nor can I eat chicken that is any bit pink.
I wash my hands a lot. I also have purel before I eat anything. I try not to
touch my face and if I do I keep it away from my nose, eyes and mouth.
I feel ridiculous. Not many people understand. I know I am illogical
during these moments.
The reason why I'm writing this now is because I had to come home today
from college and I had to miss two classes and I had to cancel work for
tomorrow. Thankfully I have not thrown up, knock on wood.
Do I have a mild form of this disorder? Should I speak with my therapist
about it? I did once and she kind of didn't really pay much attention to
what I was saying. Thoughts? Advice? Please, it would be greatly
appreciated.
Welcome to the International Emetophobia Society | The Web's Largest Meeting Place for People With Emetophobia.
Reply With Quote
