New Here - Just want some feedback

[rocket863]

[img]smileys/smilies_12.gif[/img] I am new to this site and forum so if I am posting this in the wrong area, I apologize. I have suffered from emetophia for about 3-4 years now, each year gets worse and affects my life more and more. Relationships are deemed virtually impossible. If you tell people what you have, they walk out the door. If you don't, they walk out the door because of how you are. I try to play it off and say I am a clean freak - I don't know how well I disguise it though. When you can't even be taken to the movies on a Friday night - because of too many people and germ exposure - it makes dating difficult and when you can't eat out - makes dating difficult. If you won't even go into a store until the first hour or two that it has been open - because anything after that - too many people - too much exposure to possible germs that can make you sick, it makes dating difficult. Also, can't even hold hands - basic physical intimacy - basic- if you can't do that - what guy is going to stick around and ultimately marry you when he can't even kiss you and better yet - when you want seperate bedrooms with your own spouse - because you don't want germ exposure - who is going to go for that? I just want someone to talk to - any feedback on how people make relationships work - I am female in my late 20's for some reference point. Feel free to send me a private message or respond to me on here. I'd love some feedback from people whose emetophia is as bad as mine and how they are remotely able to have a relationship with a man. Just want someoen to talk to. Thank you for your time.

[ankitchens]

i am ALWAYS up front about this phobia when i first start dating ppl. i know what u mean tho...its harder for everyone else to understand it bc its so normal!!
but ive never had a guy who stopped dating me because if it....i have had a bf who said it was annoying and made fun of me a lot but i couldnt take it so i broke up with him.

i just recently started dating a new guy and even tho he doesnt understand it he tries to and tries to make me comfortable no matter what! he is the type of guy who likes to do low key things and hang around the house sometimes so it works for both of us. i got brave last night and went to a college basketball game with him, i figure if hes going to go out of his way to do all these things i could do the same!!

good luck with everything [img]smileys/smilies_01.gif[/img]

[rocket863]

But after you went to that game - which had a ton of people at it - weren't you worried that you might have caught a stomach bug that won't surface for 24 - 48 hours? Did you enjoy yourself at the game, because I would have been worried sick at the game, before the game, and the 72 hours after the game if it had been me? But maybe I have a more severe case than you.

[sage]

Hi and welcome,
I was a very severe emetophobic for many years - just as you describe. I've also had a great marriage for 27 years now. I think the key is to be on a path to recovery. At least that is what worked for me. My husband understood when my therapists failed. But what he would not understood, I think, is if I were not trying to get better. I thank him for pushing me back into seeking treatment when I got complacent. Finally, I found the right therapist and the right treatment program.

What matters is that you don't spend your time and energy trying to get other people to understand you. They never will, unless they have the phobia themselves. Instead, spend your time and energy trying to get better.