Thinking of having children? READ THIS!

[crimgoddess]

I haven't posted here in a REALLY long time- but I figured I would post this here to possibly help anyone who may be thinking of having children and are scared that they may not be able to handle their children being ill.

I am ok with myself being sick- but am very fearful of others. If someone in my proximity is ill my first response is to run away- if my husband is sick I stay downstairs so I don't have to see/hear him. If I hear or see someone being sick, my body's immediate physiological response is to FLIGHT! My heart drops to my feet and I break a sweat.

Today Norah (my 16 month old daughter) got her first stomach virus- first of all, I'm pretty proud that she has been in daycare since 8 months, and I take her everywhere (and try not to get anxious about her touching everything/playing with other children), and she is only NOW getting vomit-sick for the first time. I think that's pretty dang good, if I do say so myself.

Anyway, she was being babysat by my BIL/SIL today while we had an appt (BTW- Direct Buy is a TOTAL scam- we were at an open house, and it was a complete waste of time and their membership fee is insane- but I digress), and when we walked in the door my SIL came to meet us holding Norah, and she threw up ALL OVER her. I didn't know someone so little could possibly hold so much in her stomach- the poor thing. We were ALL surprised....and I totally picked her up so SIL could get changed, cleaned her off, and carried her to the car. She proceeded to throw up again on the ride home, and then seemed to be fine. She was playing with her toys and smiling- and of course as soon as I got a clean outfit on her, BAM, one more time.

I not only cleaned her up, but rinsed out her nasty clothes and put them in the wash. I would say that my anxiety level was actually only about a 3....I was more concerned with her (TMI- it was undigested, so she had a hard time getting it all up, the poor thing) as opposed to my emet. The mess was absolutely disgusting- but I figured I'm the mom, I'm here, I have to deal with it. If it was someone else's child I'm not sure what I would have done...but when it's your own, it IS different.

It honestly feels like a huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders- I was completely worried that once she was eating solid food and stopped the "spitting up" thing, I wouldn't be able to handle it. I feel much more confident- as though I can handle it, and don't have to worry about the "what if". What happened today was probably the worst-case scenario vomit-wise, and I could do it.

So....if you are worried there is a chance that you CAN do it. It isn't pleasant, but it certainly wasn't the end of the world.

[xmdslatx]

wow, thanks for this (and the direct buy comment lmfao..what was so bad about them? i was going to check it out but not any longer)


one of the reasons i am scared to have kids is it being s* (the others are ms*, the getting growing up to be a screw up or something bad having to it) but i always wanted to be a momma.

my niece v* right in front of me when she gagged on food (before i was this scared) and although it was completly disgusting, i wasnt too disturbed...


btw, your baby is adorable!

[crimgoddess]

xmd- thank you And Direct Buy was awful- their so-called "super discount prices" only apply to large, top-of-the-line items....most of what was in their catalogue wasn't so different than you would find in retail stores. TOTALLY not worth the 5400$ membership fee [img]smileys/smilies_10.gif[/img]

I was SO worried about having kids a few years ago...now I realize that the momma-switch was turned, and I can do ANYTHING I need to, to help my child.

Best of luck

[abbey_16]

wow thats so good! i have a fear i cant take care of my children when there s* :'(

[polkadots_008]

Thank you for posting this (: I want kids so bad but I worry that Ill be a bad mother, unable to care for them when they have a sickness that makes them v* :| Anyways, your post is very inspirational to me.

[alycat27]

It's so true..I can deal very well with my four and a half year old when he is sick. Though I do wonder about how I will feel when he is in his teens and does it LOL

But let me tell you..if my husband does it, forget it!! [img]smileys/smilies_10.gif[/img]

[sage]

Great to hear from you crimgoddess! I was wondering how you were doing! I'm so glad to hear that your anxiety over something like this was pretty low. Very cool!

Keep in touch, eh?

[qpaulina42]

glad to see you back, if even just for a bit. 16 months! seems like just yesterday.
hugs.
P

[kspappas]

Very inspiring! Thank you

[jhabberfield]

So I'm about to have a baby and of course am freaking out over this very thing. Is it possible to care for your kids when they're sick and not catch it yourself?? Please please tell me that it is. Or if you do catch it, can you restrain from actually vomiting? I can handle diarrhea and all that.

My friend is staying with her sister brother in law and they have 3 kids, apparently every single one of them, including my friend caught the stomach bug over the last few days. My friend spent the night throwing up. They are not the cleanest people in the world and I'm sure there wasn't a whole lot of bathroom cleaning going on...which may be why they all got sick. At least that is what I tell myself. I, like most of you I'm sure, am extremely anal over things being clean and disinfected, even when people aren't sick. If you're careful, is it possible to avoid it?

I'm so excited to finally have this baby (hopefully any day now) but absolutely terrified that now I'll spend every winter worrying about the dreaded stomach bug. It is good to hear though that the mom instinct seems to kick in and you can at least function when they are sick.

[use2bfat]

The instinct kicks in ABSOLUTELY. What I find more annoying is worrying they will get it( when the go to school at parks/ Mcdonald play houses ect). Once they do get it..Im just fine. When son would V* because of allergies or ear infection. Did NOT bother me at all. The SV is tough because I tend to be on the front lines with it (taking care of them). I don't think its as much about being clean...But, I will say...this past May my daughter got it 2/3 days later I got it and 2 hours later my son did. My MIL came to visit helped me clean the sheets my son *soiled*...but never got it (its definately chance)...it was just nice to have someone help me with him. AS SOON as the nausea subsided and I could stand up straight (the last time I V'd) I was able to help him and was relieved to be able to! I always want my mom when I'm sick(still LOL)...I give my kids that too! For me its all about not knowing when it will happen...or if...and thinking about it bugs!! Once it happens I just brace myself..( I get a big time adrenaline rush (not in a good way)...I watch them like hawks...I have deep deep emapthy for my kids when they get it...Because its the worst thing for me...I assume it is for them....I love them so much...more than myself...Its just the way it is! It won't cure your phobia ..but it may change it?

[jkl81]

That is amazing. Wonder if it would be the same way for emet dads? I don't think we have any of those here. Maybe they can stay in the shadows. I know when I was sick I wanted Mom and Dad didn't tend to have to deal with it as much if at all.

[use2bfat]

My husband is a non emet...and is just more relaxed when it happens to the kids. I sit there with a towel..and eventually get worn out when they do...Sometimes I watch them sleep..waiting for the next time. They definately reach for me during this time. I sit and say...its okay..get that "yuck" out...calming them. I wish I had myself around when it happened to me..calming..and reassuring its all going to be better...When it does happen to me..I watch the clock..V* typically subsides after about 6 hours...so count hours....Something happened to me when I was prego too..I just started letting happen if the nausea was unrelenting...It is much easier than keeping it from happening but I think it takes practice and lots of nausea (which I had).

[teh folder]

I am not going to have kids any time soon. Hopefully I will never have kids. I just would not make a good Dad. I would probably use a hose to clean them. [img]smileys/smilies_04.gif[/img] Edited by: teh folder

[crimgoddess]

jhabberfield- Neither me nor my husband caught it- and I was literally a foot away from her the first time she was sick, and holding her the third time she was sick. My husband also caught some of it to prevent a bigger mess. So yes, it is completely possible to take care of them without catching it yourself Just wash your hands really well- I also used a pair of gloves to rinse off the laundry, just in case.

Paulina- glad to see you!!! I know...these 16 months have flown by- it's makes me sad really, to see Norah getting so grown up.

Sage- will definitely keep in touch [img]smileys/smilies_04.gif[/img] I need an update as to how things are going with you as well!

[happyteacher]

Amber, that's a great story!

I'm just like you, I don't really fear myself either. I'm glad to know that the "momma switch" actually does exist! I'll be in your position someday!

My little boy was born on January 17!!!

[crimgoddess]

Amber, that's a great story!

I'm just like you, I don't really fear myself either. I'm glad to know that the "momma switch" actually does exist! I'll be in your position someday!

My little boy was born on January 17!!!

AHHHHH!!!!

Congrats!!!!! Name? Pic?

I need details [img]smileys/smilies_04.gif[/img]

[alwaysafraid]

Hat's off to you mom's and dad's....I don't know how you do it. I'm sure the instinct to protect and care for your children is so strong you do what you have to for them. It amazes me, I don't feel like I could do it, but if I had to I probably would.

[driftinggoddess]

CONGRATS TO YOU!!!!! im responding to a few posts here.. the whole being scared of getting prego because of MS yep that was me, but somehow my fiance defeated the pill... sooo look waht happen, no MS! whew. and now my daughter is almost 16 months old and has yet to have an sv and she was around 8 people who had it and never got it, and that was sharing stuff with them and everything...
BUT WAY TO GO! IM RPOUD YOU MADE IT THROUGH THAT, I THINK I WOULD BE A MESS DEALING WITH THAT. but shes my daughter i would have to suck it up and be MOmright!!!