My dad has suffered from Crohn's disease pretty much his entire life, although I think it really started when he was in middle school. But he wasn't diagnosed until I was 3, and he was 36 when he perforated a bowel, which people usually die of and he very nearly did.
Really quick for those who don't know, Crohn's disease is an inflammatory disease of the intestines, classified as an autoimmune disease because the inflammation is caused by the immune system attacking the intestines. Other than this, my dad is a really healthy guy, but I've watched him suffer from this as long as I can remember. Memories of hearing him moan in pain all night long are scattered all throughout my childhood. Because of the immune system attacks, scar tissue can build up in the intestines, causing severe abdominal pain and blockages, among other things.
Since last spring, I've been having health problems. I was diagnosed with Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome in May and thought the treatment for it would solve my feelings of unwellness, but it definitely didn't, and this last month I have worsened considerably. I've barely been able to eat for over a month, because after I do I just don't feel well. They're testing me for Crohn's disease, and I'm becoming more and more afraid the test is going to come back positive. The disease is one that has active periods and periods of remission, and in the active periods, I know my dad has spent a lot of time throwing up. I'm so terrified I'm going to have this disease and have to worry about that happening. My dad isn't bothered by nausea or vomiting, but that's my very worst fear.
Anyway, I'm especially worried tonight because I've had weird cramping discomfort in my lower abdomen and up my left side since yesterday. It's not exactly pain, more like severe discomfort, but it hasn't gotten better and I'm worried this is Crohn's rearing its ugly head. The possibility of me having this also makes me really nervous because I guess I'm just an absolute wimp when it comes to all things medical. I can't swallow pills, which I would definitely have to do. And if it goes along the lines of my dad's, then there's the possibility that like him, I'd have to have probably more than one gut surgeries over time, which even my dad, who is most definitely not a medical wimp, hates even the thought of.
Perhaps worst of all, having to deal with digestive distress over the last almost a year has made my emetophobia worse than it's ever been before. It seems like it's this constant presence in my everyday life now, and that I'm living every moment in fear. I HATE it.
So basically... I'm just in a very sticky place at the moment and I'm not really sure how to face the future. If anyone got through that whole rant, thanks for reading
Edited by: mxw08