Please Help Me!!

[poppycat]

Hi there

I joined this site last year after finally realising I was not alone and my madness was a real phobia. I have such an irrational fear of being ill that it makes me feel bad just thinking about it.

Nearly 2 years ago I was pregnant and was terribly sick with it and eventually miscarried. I think that this has definately contributed to my phobia being worse than ever.

My problem is I really want to start a family with my husband, but I am soooooo scared of morning sickness and that's not the half of it. If I managed to get through the pregnancy, how would I be with a child. They can get ill so easily. My cousin has a one year old, who constantly seems to be ill. Not just a cold or snuffles, but always sickness!

I know not all babies are the same and some maybe more prone to things than others, but I just cant handle the thought.

Please help me. I feel so depressed about this and just don't know what to do.

My family are supportive, but I don't feel they understand me. My husband finds it very frustrating that I can be so irrational. I just want to hide away!!

[andee]

Hi Poppycat, and welcome...I understand your frustrations, but please don't let this phobia stand in the way of your having children. I have two kids, ages 11 and 6, and they are worth everything. Yes, being pregnant was difficult...the n* was horrible and I did get s* once with my first (I think because I didn't eat), but for the second I took phenergan.
And as far as caring for them, I really can't when they are ill. But thankfully my husband is great with them and understands this fear.
If you have a loving and supportive family and hubby, you can do it. If they don't understand, then sit down and really discuss it...also print off some of Sage's articles you can find here on this site.
Best of luck, and keep posting to let us know how you are doing. Take care [img]smileys/smilies_02.gif[/img]

[elizam]

I have 3 children (17, 14, & 10) and I don't know if it was mind over matter or what, but I never experienced more than a twinge of queasiness when I was pregnant (thank God!).

Taking care of them when they were ill with a sv* was rough, and at first I couldn't do it at all, but believe it or not it helped me to somewhat overcome my phobia. Not completely, I am still terrified of v* myself, but it has desensitized me to having to clean up v*, and although I don't enjoy seeing other people get s*, most of the time I can handle it without panicking now.

You honestly never know what you are capable of until you're in the situation. I thought I would never ever be able to handle a v* child, but gradually, with a lot of positive self-talk and relaxation techniques, I was able to do it. My husband is a nurse and v* doesn't bother him one bit, so if I ever do feel like I can't handle it, he is happy to take over.

[desertmum]

I do agree with the others, don't let it put you off. Talk to your ob/gyn about n* and v* and get her to give you something to help with it. I was able to cope with the kids V* when they were little, but can't now they are older. But my husband is fab and gets up with them in the night. During the day they know I don't like it so go off themselvesand then come back for a cuddle. However, they do want me to hug them when they fell s* (they are 12 and 14!) and I find it hard to do, and then I feel like an awful mother! But I make up for it in other ways - my husband can't cope with blood but I can! You will be fine and it is so worth it.
Good luck

[driftinggoddess]

you know what really helped me sleeping all the time.. lol not kidding i never had morning sickness just bad heartburn. buti wiould be up for 4-5 hours, take a 2 hour nap up for 30 min take a 2 hour nap up for 45min take a 2 hour nap up for 30 min take anoth 2 hour nap up for 3-4 hours then sleep again from 1:20/2 am till 10 am. i did that for the first 3 months, and i honesly think it helped something, my neighbor (shes almost 40) said that when ever she would wake up and stand up she would v. she was fine untile she stood up..