grrrrr

[mystikal star]

I had counseling at 10:00 this morning. I woke up with gurgly intestines and crapped four times. It's because I had milk yesterday. Everytime I have milk the following day I'm suffering with the craps and intestinal gurgles. Anyways, I felt hunger but still was very anxious.


Went to the appointment and a panic attack hit right in her office. I was shaking uncontrollably and breathing heavy. My jaws were chattering. My whole body felt cold and was trembling. At one point I was shaking so much that I couldnt even talk. These things came and went for a minute or two, then came back, then went away. She's trying to talk me out of the panic. I'm telling her I'm afraid I could be getting sick. She said she thinks I'm having a panic attack or I could becoming down with something. I told her THANKS for telling me that. She said it's probably just a cold but she thinks it's a panic attack. I even took an Atarax in front of her and told her sorry as I fought back tears. She said it was okay and to just breathe.


Anyways, toward the last five minutes of the session I started talking about other stuff and the panic went away. So the session was ruined by a panic attack. GRRR.Edited by: mystikal star

[Jenneh]

thats happened to me before.


i was sitting with my social worker and all of sudden i really panicked. it wasnt just an emet panic - but a social phobia panic as well. and so i just lifted my jumper over my face so she cudnt see me and tht made me feel a little calmer. made me look lke a dork - but hey.


at least now ur therapist has SEEN by her own very eyes what happens to you sumtimes. hopefully it will help her in understanding.


Jen xxxxxx

[Melikasa]

Awww you poor thing. I have had that happen before. Everytime it happened in front of someone they always thought I was cold and needed a blanket out sweater because I was shaking so hard.
It is so wonderful though that she was reasurring and not impatient. She sounds very nice. I don't think it was ruined you had five minutes and she was able to see all the symptoms first hand rather than just going on what it is you tell her.

[mystikal star]

Ha. Yeah she saw it all. And now I'm so embarassed. I'm still worried that I'm getting sick because the chills I had was weird. I didnt have goosebumps and I didnt feel like I needed to cover up. I was just shaking uncontrollably..So scary. Darn. I hope that doesnt happen again...IF i go back..im so ashamed.

[2jo2]

Don't be ashamed, I mean, that's what the couseller is there for, to help you. They aren't supposed to judge, and hopefully want what is in your best interest, so you really shouldn't feel ashamed. Maybe now that she's seen it first hand, she can help and figure out ways to help you thru one again. I hope you're feeling better.

[sage]

Yes - what a profound experience. I'm sure it was very difficult. But everyone's right - you need not be "ashamed". I mean, all counsellors know they're treating people with anxiety disorders and hey - that's what anxiety disorders are like. As it turned out it was a panic attack, so now you know...what I mean is...you can feel that way and have it be "just" a panic attack (not be sick).


I have panicked like that so many times in my therapist's office. Sometimes I'll be talking about something I didn't even think was disturbing and BANG there it is...it's horrible. I hate that feeling so much. I have found that it's generally a pretty safe place to panic, though. If your counsellor is kind and compassionate and you feel you can trust her, then in the end it wasn't a "wasted" session at all. You both learned something.


When you go back, try to talk about what happened, including your shame about it. It will be good "material" for a session...what I mean is it should really be helpful in the end.


Hope you're doing better now btw!