Though I am not completely certain what triggered my phobia, there is one event that I tend to relate it to. At the age of 4, I was sitting in a hot car along with another little girl age 2 or 3 with our babysitter waiting to pick up her daughter from school. The younger girl v**d on me. I can still recall everything about that day and the event (smell, color, texture). Though I can remember all of this, I don't recall it bothering me or being afraid. Once I began going to school, I can recall a couple of events of classmates getting sick at shool or on the bus and being scared, not necessarily terrified but it scared me. I also don't remember of being afraid of doing it myself until I was about 12. I got a nasty sv while on vacation and from that point in it was all downhill. I was horrified of it. To this day, if I feel sick at all (or even when its just in my head) I am overcome with panic, fear, anxiety. Not only do I fear being sick myself, but I am just as deathly afraid of others getting sick as I am of getting sick myself. I am the mother of an almost 4 year old girl. I have found that I can't even take care of her properly when she v*s because the 'fight or flight' feeling takes over and all I want to do is run away. More than anything the site and sound bother me most with sound being at the top of the list. She got a stomach virus last summer and the first time she V*d was in the car. After this point, my phobia became completely out of control. I wonder if it was the car episode that triggered my phobia to become so much more severe. This past Saturday night I spent the night with my boyfriend and some other friends at a get-a-way cabin. He drank too much and had to get out of bed that night to V*. He left the bathroom door open and the sound of him gagging since me into a complete panic attack. I was completely terrified. I held my ears and even after he laid down and told me he was better, I didnt sleep all night. I shook violently and was incredibly scared/nervous. That is what caused me to search for some sort of help or a site like this.I think about it everyday. I am scared of driving in the car with my daughter, I constantly ask her if she feels okay, if I feel any slight feelings of uneasiness I get completely overcome with fear of being sick.
As I have read many personal emet stories and experiences, I have noticed that most of you mostly fear (at least what I've read) yourself getting sick. Is anyone like me in the sense that they are terrified beyond words of hearing or seeing someone else get sick as much as they are afraid of doing it themselves? I need help. This is ruining my life.
Welcome to the International Emetophobia Society | The Web's Largest Meeting Place for People With Emetophobia.
Reply With Quote
