close to v*ing

[angelasherman]

i am 21 and havent been sick since i was 9, has anyone else ever felt brave and thought of letting yourself be sick only to find that you couldnt actually be sick. Maybe its not possible after so many years to be sick, ive tried it twice and on both times even though ive tried ive not been able to physically be sick.[img]smileys/smilies_03.gif[/img]

[faith-marilyn]

same here. last month i was havin a really positive time and wasnt scared to be sick, an when i got ill i felt like i was gunna throw up so i went to the toilet, very calmly, waited, and nothing happened, the feeling went away, but i know for sure if i didnt have emet i wud have been sick.

[Jenneh]

thats happend to me before as well.


i dont know why -- but i felt proper proper sick... and i was sitting there for about an hour stopping myself from actually v*ing but then thort.. what the hell i'll do it anyway.


so, i went to the bathroom and tried to force myself to do it -- but i cudnt!! was quite irritating really...


Jen xxxx

[Scattycat]

I think you're all so brave 'allowing' yoursleves to be sick - I've felt really really bad in the past and sat in bed nearly all night thinking I was going to throw up but telling myself I couldn't. I wish I could just face it but the thought of it just scares me too much.

[Melikasa]

I only tried that once when I was a lot younger and my mom came in and told me to just let it happen and I thought FINE I will try it but all i did was spit.
I tend to just spend hours feeling nauseated and fighting myself not to. I do everything in my power not to.
I don't think that even when we think we are ready to try that it is even that easy. We have "conditioned" our bodies for so long not to.

[jazz]

i sometimes have nights where i sit on the bath and just wait. The stupid thing is though, I sniff peppermint at the same time to will the nausea away!
I suppose sitting in the bathroom is a last resort, but i find that wheni feel really rough, im so scared that i can't think rationally along the lines of " let it come " i just pray to the high heavens that it go's away, and that ill have another vomit-free night.

[wing]

I tried it twice before but that was like 4 years ago and didnt get sick.Now I dont know about now.. ehehe.. Edited by: wing

[rhinoseri]

I'm too afraid to try, I'd doubt I'd ever consider it, either. That's how bad I am.

[aguerra28]

The logical side of me knows how silly it is to be afraid of v**ing. SO I try to tell myself it will be no big deal. When I feel ok that makes perfect sense, but as soon as something goes wrong in my stomach, the fear sets in. Then of course, the panic. I know that the panic has got to be worse than the deed, but I just can't do it. Like right know, I feel fine, so I can sit here and talk about how V***ing would be no big deal - people do it everyday. But tonight when I am lying in bed and my stomach hurts it will be a different story. Nights are always bad for me. I am so ready to be done with phobia.

[angelasherman]

yeah i understand, i get much worse at night time im not sure why. i to can talk about v*ting when i feel fine and i also tell myself that the next time i feel s*ck i am going to not panic and try to let nature take its course, but then the next time i feel s*ck it all goes out the window and i panic really badly and i cant let nature take its course. when i feel ok and feel really positive but then something will happend or i may eat something that i dont usually and then im back to square one with the panic.

[mbs730]

Yep well not to scare anyone but many of you know about
this. If you are going to get sick, emet or not ITS GONNA HAPPEN!! I
say this because on Friday night it came out with a vengence TWICE!
Believe me, its unpleasant but not SO bad as we make it out to be. But
hey I have no right saying that since it didnt make my emet better, not
worse either, still have the same stupid phobia. Although with me, I am
more phobic of others being sick than I am of myself unless faced with
the situation... like Friday night, uggh. I did survive but... the
phobia is worse than the actual v'ing believe me.



Miriam

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[eyecandi512]

One time, quite some time ago now, I felt so ill after eating brownies. I went to the mall with my boyfriend at the time and he bought me some anti-emetics over the counter, but eventually told me....why don't you just try to throw up and then you'll feel better. I considered it....that's how bad I felt, and most of all, I trusted him.


So he brought he up to the top of the parking garage and told me to open my mouth....he stick HIS fingers down MY throat. I gagged none the less, but did noy throw up. I bleed b/c he did a little damage, but did not get sick. I was TERRIFIED at this point.....but COULD not be sick.


Another time, I was suffering from mono wicked bad. I could not eat and when I tried, I felt so sick. I was feeling weaker than usual so I tried to eat for once. I was so nauseated, so I sat next to the bathroom and tried to cough til it happened. A lot of mucus came up (i was soooooo sick) but I never got to the point where I threw up. I lost over 30lbs when I had mono b/c of being afraid to eat. I was so sick and hospitalized. They were shocked I never threw up, even when I tried.


It's interesting. But it also scares me when I hear of emets having "bad luck" and gettig ill.....[img]smileys/smilies_09.gif[/img]

[snowangel]

I am 25 and I haven't been ill since Feb 14 2002 (12 years ago). I think and hope it's true; we have conditioned our bodies not to v***. If that is the case...then maybe I am over my phobia because maybe that means I will never ever be sick again !!!!1 [img]smileys/smilies_05.gif[/img] [img]smileys/smilies_05.gif[/img] okay maybe not. Nice to know you guys havent V in a long time. Very comforting indeed YYYYYYYYYUUUUUUCCCCCCCCCKKKKKK.. Las time I had stomach flu I gagged all night over a garbage can but NOTHING came up I was prepared, and actually wanted to V and get it over with. Not possible & maybe it will forever be like that....

[adry]

i feel kinda ignored sometimes here, but i guess that 's just cos i say things that are no new...still i want to turn feelings into words...and tell you that i think this site is in a kinda way a description of me, and some ''directories'' or sections if you want, are more like me.....it's really weird....i'm in the same situation as most of the ppl in this section of the site....this 'discussion'...it's like we're not real bad, but still , that fear is there, and we pretend it's not, until the sunset comes, and with it all those anxieties,,,,and hopes,,,we all want to be done...and we also feel like we're getting closer....but it still seems it doesnt get better than this....and i thought that actually v*ng would erase it all, but it doesnt seem like...this thought doesnt make me feel good, but i guess we'll stay in this limb for all our lives, most likely.....

[emmab]

I have not been sick since I was about 11, I am 23 now. I have tried to make myself sick twice when I had been drinking alcohol because I felt so bad but although I got the gagging feeling nothing actually came out both times. So I think possibly unless we are real relaxed or get food poisoning we are unlikely to be sick.

[purples]

i am just getting over the stomach flu -- i had it for like 5-6 days.... it was horrible. but i refused to let myself get sick, so instead of letting the virus get out of me - it stayed in and stayed longer. i was so nausated and dramamine didn't help much.


sitting in the bathroom is a last resort and that triggers me even more. i will sit with a trashcan near me, but the bathroom is a last resort!

[redapple]

I am 20 and haven't been sick since I was 10. I don't understand why so many of us are sooo much worse at nite time. I can be fine during the day and even think about it like a normal person...then nite comes and it's time to go to sleep and my boyfriend is sleeping beside me but i'm lying there wide awake. just watching tv, or trying to read, and praying. feeling terrified and angry. i have also sat in the bathroom some nites, just sure that it was going to happen...then i fall asleep from exhaustion and i wake up the next morning so relieved that the nite is over. there has to be some explanation for the fact that some of us feel as tho we're at peace with it some times, then we're back to the same old terror at other times. it's confusing.


Anyone have any tips for relaxation at nite that help you fall asleep?


sometimes it helps me to have the tv on a funny sitcom and just try to concentrate on the lightheartedness. Edited by: redapple

[sar_bear]

yes!!! the same thing happened to me...last Thanksgiving my boyfriend
and i went to four different dinners and on the way to the thrid one
from the second i felt the closest to being sick that ive felt in a
long long time. you know that sort of hot flash thing you get? i got
that and i could feel a lump in my throat (sorry that was gross), so i
told my boyfriend to pull over. for some reason i felt so safe and at
ease with him that i knew i would be okay as long as he was there with
me...so i was going to let myself do it. but i couldn't! it was so
weird...maybe we really do have some crazy control over that one part
of our brain...