I’m new here and I need help!

[chelseymarie]

I don't know where to start off, all I have to say is I've never knew she was a serious fear. I've always wondered if there was anyone out there like me and I can't even believe there really is. I did'nt even know there was a name for this fear. I'm kinda happy that there is so now I can prove to people around me that there are people like me and it does have a name. I've always not like to be around people throwing up but it's gotten very bad over the past few years. Five years ago me and my parents got sick over the holidays with a bad stomach virus, we went out to eat earlier that day and when we got home we all got sick. We didn't think it was the food because the people we went to eat with didn't get sick and we all ate different foods. Plus one of our family members got sick a few days before that. Well I have never thrown up like I did that night in my life, I threw up seven times every half hour, It was the worst. A year later I had been feeling sick to my stomach alot and a few months later I found out I had gallstones, so I had my galbladder removed. I continued to feel the same as I did when I had galstones so I had a bunch of tests done and a few months later found out I have a disease called Sphincter of Oddi Dysfunction type 3. It's very long to explain so if you want you can look it up, but basically I feel sick to my stomach alot and I have problems going to the bathroom, stress also plays a huge part in it. Ever since then I have had a horrible fear of throwing up. I constantly ask people are you sick or are you going to throw up, and people get so annoyed but I can't help it. It's constantly on my mind and I always worry about it. The year after I found out about my disease I took pepto bis every day, I constantly used hand sanitizer, and washed my hands, and I can't sleep at night. I was cleaning my hands so much that I killed my good germs and I got sick, I threw up twice but it wasn't as bad as the time before that. So I thought I got over it and I was so happy and I told everyone, well then it came back again and I was afraid to tell people because they were so happy that I was over my fear, then the questions came back "are you sick or are you going to throw up" and people realized I wasn't over it. I cry about it, I pray to God that I don't get sick, I've even wanted to go into a mental place and be locked away from everyone and be by myself to avoid getting sick. I still use hand sanitizer and wash my hands. I don't like to share drinks, lip gloss, or bite off of anyone. I avoid going near anyone that is sick and anyone that I talk to I beg for them not to go near them either. I feel so paranoid and I feel like no one understands me or even cares. They think I'm crazy and it's a joke but I'm terrified of throwing up. I've wanted to die just so I would never get sick again, I know that might sound so wrong but that's how afraid I am about this. When my stomach hurts which is usually at night, I stay up all night until it stops. I can never sleep at night. If I try to go to sleep I will doze off but keep waking up. I want to be cured from this but I don't want to have to throw up to be cured. I feel so much better that I found people that I can talk to about this, and I hope that someone can talk to me, listen to me, and help me.

[prncesspnk]

welcome, chelsey<3
i'm lauren, and i've been emetophobic since the ripe old age of 4. (17 1/2 years and counting!)
i'm confident you'll find some great support here!

oh, and about the hand sanitizer... i'm neurotic and use it all the time too! purell and similar hand sanitizers (with the active ingredient being ethyl alcohol) do not kill norovirus. your best bet is to wash your hands thoroughly before eating or touching your face, and when you can't, use a sanitizer with the active ingredient benzalkonium chloride (wet ones, germ-x wipes, SOAPopular... just check the label), which kills norovirus.Edited by: prncesspnk

[chelseymarie]

Thank you so much for welcoming me! I'm just so happy to have found this website. I think it will be very helpful to me. I'm 19 1/2 and I just feel so young to have to be this stressed and worried about this but I am. Thanks for the tip about the sand sanitizer. I was going to sleep over my friends house last night until I heard her younger sister get up in the middle of the night and v* I freaked out. I have slept over there the past few days. But I only slept there, I haven't really stayed there all day. Her sister has a different room than she does. I haven't really been around her sister. It was really weird because she seemed fine yesterday she was running around and cleaning and normal, then last night she got sick twice, but she said she didn't feel sick at all she just brought up everything she ate. No one over there has been sick or is sick, so I don't know if it's a virus or she just ate something that was bad or she didn't agree with. I haven't been that close to her, I didn't eat or drink off of her or anything like that. I'm so scared now and I don't know what to do, but I left and went home because I freaked out. I hope she wasn't sick with a virus. If she was I hope I wont get it. I notice when viruses go around younger and older people get it easier than other ages do. I'm sick right now with a head cold. But I do know that when my Aunts two younger kids get sick they don't always get sick around the same time and my Aunt never get's it and she deals with it the whole time. So hopefully I don't get sick from my friends sister if it was a virus.

[alwaysafraid]

HiChesley...welcome to the forum. I'm glad you found it, I remember how amazed I was when I realized I wasn't the only person on earth who suffers with this. You'll find to varrying degrees everyone on here has symptoms like you....you're not alone. Have you considered getting some therapy and medications from a doctor? I have suffered with this for about 25 years now and only recently started getting some counseling and started on medicine for my anxiety and obsessive thoughts about this and it's starting to help me. Good luck to you...nice to meet you!

[prncesspnk]

i highly highly doubt you'll catch anything from your friend's younger sister. it sounds to me like whatever she ate didn't agree with her. if she had an sv, she'd be achy, feverish, and fatigued for at least 24 hours.

[chelseymarie]

I wanted to thank everyone I've talk to so far about this. It makes me feel so much better that I can talk to people that understand how I feel. Thank you so much for listening to me and trying to help. I do understand that no one likes to v* or get a sv but people deal with it, I don't like to deal with it. I would rather die than deal with it. I think my biggest problem is having no control over it and I think that is why I'm so scared of it. I don't like the fact that I can't control it, that I don't know if I'm going to get it, that I sit around and worry about getting it 24/7. I use to see a therapist about it two years ago and I became really close with her and I could talk to her about it, I don't really feel like she helped me get over it but it felt nice to have someone listen to me. When I seen her that was when I got sick and thought I got over it but I didn't. She had to move and she couldn't be my therapist anymore, then I didn't want to see someone else because it's too much for my parents for the co-pays, and I didn't feel like trying to get close with someone else again and share all of this information. I do have really bad anxiety, I constantly worry about everything all the time but that is the number one thing I worry about. I've been on anxiety medications before and I don't feel like it worked at all. I didn't like the side effects and I think it made me worse. Although my Mom thinks that it made me better, she said she doesn't think that I worried about this as much but I think it was because that is when I tried hiding about it, I told everyone I was over it then it came back and I was afraid to tell everyone that I wasn't over it. I've read alot of thing's on here, and I do feel like alot of the people on here and just like me, they do the same thing's I do and go through it pretty much the same way. I feel like it controls my life though. I stay up all night sometimes because I don't want to go to sleep so then I go to school and I'm just so tired. Sometimes I don't even want to have kids because I don't know how I would be able to deal with my kids getting sick, being able to take care of them if they're sick, or if I would be able to be around them because I wouldn't want to get sick. I don't know what to do anymore! [img]smileys/smilies_16.gif[/img]