A proper hello

[angelgirl]

Evening all,

I joined this forum a couple of months ago but unfortunately was unable to log in until today, which is a relief and I really needed support this evening. Anyway, I wasn't sure where to introduce myself so I thought I would do it here and the mods can move it if I've put it in the wrong place.

I'm a 25 year old semi-recovered emetophobic who still had the odd pitfall every now and then. Tonight has been one of those nights!

Like most of you, my emet began when I was really young, I still haven't quite worked out what caused it. Of course, at the time, I had no idea what it was, neither did my parents, they just thought I was slightly mad. It's only been recently, with the Internet, that I've discovered the fear I've had all these years has a name. Not only that, but there are other people out there who feel the same as me. It's a relief that I am sure you can identify with.

Classically underweight, “IT” was constantly on my mind. I went through rituals every night, developed mild OCD and had a full blown panic attack if anyone around me was ill. I've jumped out of cars, cowered in corners and at one time, had to go home from work when I heard one of my colleagues was ill. I would rarely get drunk for fear of being ill as a result and I avoided going out with people who would do that. Over the years, my reactions became less extreme but in November 2007, I avoided the bathroom upstairs for a month after my sister was unwell. I only went back when my Dad got annoyed.

It was at that time that I first found an emet forum. It was a comfort especially given that noro took quite a hold in early 2008. I never joined that forum; daft superstition that if I did I would be ill (my mind works in strange ways sometimes), but ended up joining here in January instead.

Now I said at the beginning that I was semi-recovered. A year ago I was put on citalopram for anxiety and depression and since then, I've been more relaxed about the whole thing. In fact, last year I was ill for the first time for quite a number of years and somehow managed to keep reasonably calm about it. I can deal with people who are unwell through alcohol now, as I know it's something I can't catch. I also seemed to have developed a morbid obsession so feel I may perhaps be able to help with some of the 'graphic' posts without being triggered. I've also put on weight and drink far more than I used to (my parents don't think that's such a positive result as I do!) For the first time ever, I'm classified as a healthy weight and could even give blood if I wanted to!

So anyway. That's me. And thanks if you've read to the end. It's been great coming on here tonight and has actally calmed me down.

Look forward to chatting to you.

Ax

[paulinek]

Hi and welcome to the site! Apart from the being underweight bit i could have written that post. i too was a late starter where drink was concerned but now like my white wine every night! In fact when i was in my early twenties i used to go out a lot and get v.drunk but i've got out of that now much to my mums relief, i think she got worried at one point [img]smileys/smilies_09.gif[/img]

I've seen your other post about your sister and hope she is okay now and that you can get back in that bathroom without leaving it a month this time!

it's weird how you can be sailing along quite nicely for ages then something (usually someone being ill) triggers it off again. There was a suspicious stain on the toilet rim this morning, which is always spotless, and my fiancee had already left for work before i got up as he had to go somewhere, and i texted asking if he had v* and i didn't hear back from him for over an hour as he was driving and I can't tell you the hell i put myself through this morning until he answered and even when he said he hadn't - phew! - i had to text another few times saying are you sure etc etc...and the sad thing is i was more worried about whether he had and i may get it than the fact he was ill [img]smileys/smilies_12.gif[/img]

I'm glad you've found some support here and look forward to chatting to you too x

[ejb199]

welcome to the site too. i also read your other post and popped a comment on there too. hope u and your sis are feeling better today?

i only started drinking when i went to uni and even then only one or two each time. it wasnt until i moved in with my guy that i started drinking more often and realising my limit. (of which i must say i exceeded on two occasions - much to my horror - alcohol sickness is so diff tho)

Lol Pauline - im a total white wine drinker most evenings. the doc even rcmd a glass if it calms me down. she said shed rather that than prescribe me valium. i find if i drink a little with my meal, im able to relax and eat a bit more too. infact i love wine so much i was thinking of doing a course on it and gaining a qualification! have u been to a tasting before? weve done a few. the vinopolis in london is very good.

anyway enough on wine lol! welcome to the site and hope ur doing better today xx