I have a new boyfriend

[kazza236]

I've just recently got with a new bloke and explained my phobia to him when we first met so he knew what he was letting himself in for! He has done a little research on emetophobia so he has a little understanding BUT, he doesn't understand completely! I was feeling ill last Fri night and I had to ask him to leave after he had been here for an hour and he was utterly devastated. I understand that he cares about me and he wants to look after me when I'm feeling poorly but how do I explain that if I'm going to v* he cannot be here or see me???!!!! Can anyone help me? I really like this guy and he is trying so hard so I don't want to scare him off!

[kellybeth]

First of all I think it is very brave that you told him straight away about your fear. I told my boyfriend right away too. Shortly after we started dating I was in his car and started to have a major panic attack. When we got back to my house I was a mess. I had bad d*, I mean BAD!! Then through the d* and the panic attack I started to feel terribly sick to my stomach. I got up enough nerve to come out of the bathroom and sit on the couch with him. I didn't know him that well. He was rubbing my back trying to comfort me but I had to just ask him to leave. I said I was sorry but I felt really sick and I needed to be alone. I told him it wasn't that I didn't want him there it is just that I didn't want ANYONE there. He seemed a little sad but I left. I din't get sick that night but I felt really sick. I called him a few hours later and apoligized to him. He said he understood. And that was 1 1/2 years ago!! We now live together and he understands my fear. He knows that when I feel ill that I just need to be alone.

Sorry. I didn't mean to make this post all about me. I just want you to know that it has happened to many of us before. Some of us just need to be alone. My guy was not scared off. He is so sweet. I think it is very sweet of your guy to look up emetophobia and try to see what it is all about and understand it is so much more then just a little fear.

You did well. You should be proud of yourself for telling him right away.

[haley_n_brian19]

I did about the opposite of thatmy boyfriend now of alomost 2 years (june 19th)are now living together and i didnt tell him up untill maybe 5 or 6 months agohe always knew there was a little something strage bout all the stuff that i dobut i have noticed that im really good at making myself seem normali think that its good though that u told him straight offi kind of wish i did sometimesbut i think that him not knowing and me having to hide it made me a little better

[asianeko]

I'm in a different boat, my bf has always known I'm scared of V--, but I didn't even know what an Emat was until very recently! So, when I told him that's what my issue is he was very relieved.

He understands that I'll have a panic attack if I hear or see it, and he'll cover my eyes during a TV or movie when he thinks it will happen, and if he has to v-- he'll put the shower on so I can't hear him.

I'm glad your new mate understands, and I'm sure he'll be able to help you through it!

[icicledreamz]

yeah its always hard for ppl who arent emetophobia, or even have any type of mental disorder, or expierence with it, its hard for them to try to completley understand. But he seems like he is making an effort to which is good.
When i told my b.f about my emet, he said "wow now everything completly adds up!" made me laugh actually..but hes awesome about it and understands as well as he can. although he can get a bit fustrated at time, which is understandable..its a part of your life, and if he wants to be in yours, hes going to have to accept it.

Just be up front, maybe even show him a few pages on this site. Most emetophobics tend to feel embarssed when they feel sick or feel they may v*, so its completly normal to wanna be alone. Just be honest n tell him exactly how you feel.

[kazza236]

Hey! Thanks for the replies, it's encouraging to know that things really can work. Luckily I haven't been too bad since my first post so had no real drama's! I bought the book 'Living with emetophobia' by Nicolette Heaton-Harris for him to read so he can get a better understanding and to say it has helped is an understatment!!! It has even helped me! I would strongly recommend it to anyone although it is pricey! We're off to Ireland in a few weeks and I have to fly which I hate so it will certainly be a test! Fingers crossed everything goes ok )

[asianeko]

I'm sure everything will go well! I hope you enjoy your trip

I think that learning more about Emetophobia helps a lot too. Ever since I found this site and learned more about it, I haven't felt n-- at night, and I'm more confident that I wont be s- every time my bf says he has a tummyache.

Who knows, reading the book will probably help you more than you think