So I'm reading a book call No Opportunity wasted by Phil keoghan (the guy who hosts The Amazing Race) I'm not usually one for self help books or anything like that but he recently did a bike ride across America to raise money for MS.

Thinking he was a cool guy I got the book. Anyway he is discussing breaking out and doing all you want to and the things that hold us back. One thing he discussed was fear and I found it interesting. In this he was helping a guy with a shark phobia.

'It may seem on the surface that Shane's fear of sharks - or, in your own case, perhaps a fear of heights or public speaking or tight spaces - is merely a limited, isolated problem that doesn't have that much impact on life in general. And so the solution, for some, is simply to dodge that particular fear by avoiding specific activities and experiences "Well I'll just stay away from crowds, or mountains, and I'll be fine." When you do this what you are saying in effect is: "I'm going to let an irrational fear conquer my better judgment, my spirit and my will. But only in this one instance."

It doesn't work that way, however. If you give in and admit defeat by one fear, you're inviting others to creep in and conquer you as well. You've made yourself vulnerable by accepting, in your own mind, that you're not strong enough to beat fear when it rises up against you. And it WILL rise up against you, in more ways than one. In Shane's case, the fear of sharks that had plagued him was followed by the fear of caves, causing him to suffer another emotional defeat. That setback no doubt weakened him a little bit more, setting him up for the next one- Which might not involve sharks or caves but confronting a murky problem at work or in his personal life. One fear becomes two,three, five.

Pretty soon you're saying "well as long as I make sure I avoid heights and deep water and crowds and bumblebees and conflict with other humans, I'll be fine!" Of course living in this restricted manner requires that you gradually close more and more doors in life for fear of what is on the other side"

It just reminded me so much of how restricting emetophobia can be. I am so lucky to be as cured as I am of this but I think sometimes it gets hard because it's like I'm on the other side and I want you guys to join me so badly lol when I see threads promoting and discussing avoidance it's so hard!Edited by: hippychick