Relationships

[jwavrek]

are you able to have relationships? etc..

[icicledreamz]

Yes, i've probbaly never been single for more than 3 months at a time..
Currently in a relationship with someone for about a year now
before that i was with someone for 5 years.Edited by: icicledreamz

[pretendworld_]

Even prior to my emet (which has truly only become a problem in the past 12 months) I had issues with being in relationships..some sort of commitment fear. I really want to overcome this though and am sure of finding ''the one'' someday. I've got plenty of time - I'm only 20. My biggest fear is pouring out my heart and soul to someone and have them reject me [img]smileys/smilies_06.gif[/img] or not even try to understand me.

[jwavrek]

Well, I created the poll, I just have issues getting out! I don't know what else I feel comfortable telling the whole forum. [img]smileys/smilies_09.gif[/img]

[carrhart]

Recently single... unfortunately. [img]smileys/smilies_06.gif[/img]

[paulinek]

Well, I created the poll, I just have issues getting out! I don't know what else I feel comfortable telling the whole forum. [img]smileys/smilies_09.gif[/img]

Do you mean getting out as in leaving the house? and therefore not being able to meet people, or something else?!

My emets never affected me being able to have a relationship, it's caused rows and p'd people off - either through their lack of understanding/empathy or my high cleaning and food related standards.

Edited to add on, that in my previous relationship when i was virtually housebound at one point it caused massive friction that i wouldn't/couldn't attend nights out or family occasions and parties etc. If i'd been like that all along maybe it would've been different but i was really good with my emet when i first met that person and used to go out all the time drinking etc so he thought it was a snub to his friends& family, when in fact it was mainly cos he was such a *&$%£"* that my axiety and insecurities and therefore my emet spiralled so badly out of control [img]smileys/smilies_06.gif[/img] Anyway ended up leaving him which was the best decision i ever ever made in my life [img]smileys/smilies_39.gif[/img] Edited by: paulinek

[katie_alexandra]

I have been with my boyfriend for almost two years.

The emet has affected all my relationships in a big way. Mostly because if I get too close to someone I end up relying on them and seeing them as my safety person rather than a partner.

However with my boyfriend at the moment I have tried never to rely on him for emet reasons, and he always tells me when he thinks I am avoiding something for 'unreasonable' emet reasons and helps me confront whatever it is I am avoiding. We find that works quite well. Don't get me wrong though, emet still puts a lot of pressure on the relationship, the main problem at the moment is where we stay... we don't live together yet and spend most of our time round mine as I have my own bathroom, and lounge even though I still live with my parents. He still lives at home too, but his Mum has this tiny 2 bed bungalow with only one bathroom. And when my bf and I are there its too crowded and its just not clean enough for me. His Mum does clean but the floors are always 'bitty' and the bathroom never feels clean, I don't feel comfortable there at all, and I am constantly coming up with reasons not to stay there, and its really putting a strain on things.

Anyway, sorry for rambling on, you know what its like when you get started on something!!

[jwavrek]

Well, I created the poll, I just have issues getting out! I don't know what else I feel comfortable telling the whole forum. [img]smileys/smilies_09.gif[/img]

Do you mean getting out as in leaving the house? and therefore not being able to meet people, or something else?!

My emets never affected me being able to have a relationship, it's caused rows and p'd people off - either through their lack of understanding/empathy or my high cleaning and food related standards.

Edited to add on, that in my previous relationship when i was virtually housebound at one point it caused massive friction that i wouldn't/couldn't attend nights out or family occasions and parties etc. If i'd been like that all along maybe it would've been different but i was really good with my emet when i first met that person and used to go out all the time drinking etc so he thought it was a snub to his friends& family, when in fact it was mainly cos he was such a *&$%£"* that my axiety and insecurities and therefore my emet spiralled so badly out of control [img]smileys/smilies_06.gif[/img] Anyway ended up leaving him which was the best decision i ever ever made in my life [img]smileys/smilies_39.gif[/img]

I'm socially awkward, Well, I used to be. I'm not as much anymore. I just have no friends, well besides all the people I talk to online, But no places to go, no places to meet people. If I see a girl I'm determined to go after. Yeah, I'll go up and say hi, See if I can get a number, Most times I don't, Well, Hell! I generally don't go up to girls that much anymore after I quit smoking, My personality changed. It was for the better though, Before I even started smoking, I was the nerdiest kid you'd ever see. I couldn't even say hi to a girl, after I quit, I get along with girls, Talk to them easily.. SO much happened. this is going to turn into a senseless rant about my life for the past 3 years. So, I'm going to stop myself. But things happened. I learned how to stand up for myself!I learned how to fight. a lot of things happened. I do not smoke anymore, it wasn't the smoking that changed me. let me clarify it was the kid who got me started smoking. Comment on this if you want. I don't care what you think! that's the other most important thing I learned. I learned I don't have to take crap from people I don't have to be made fun of. Things can change and they will. Sorry for the rant!

[jwavrek]

Just looking over what I posted. I have very strong emotional ties to what happened. + the music I'm currently listening to has put me in an odd place and now I feel like complete shi* oh well.

[sdfl]

I am set with my darling Ka'eth for life [img]smileys/smilies_02.gif[/img]

[jkl81]

I have the same problem Justin, I can talk to women easily, but getting any further than that, is a problem for me. I've had all kinds of advice from grow a pair to be patient, I guess you just have to go for what you want. Additionally, I think I'm naturally eccentric and the emet makes it worse. I don't know what I'm going to do but I don't want to be alone forever. It sounds like you've changed a lot for the better recently, that's something to be proud of. If you can get your gastritis in check I bet you'll be in good shape until and unless you actually have to confront yourself v*ing.

[abbey_16]

i am engaged

[jwavrek]

Thanks, J.D.

Yeah, I used to have online relationships too, I know several people on this site that can sympathize with this or who met there husband or wife online..

[jkl81]

Yeah me too, I think I know the people you speak of. I'm happy with however I meet somebody as long as she's we're a good match.

[new.slang]

I'm single. However, I don't think this is because of emet. I struggle with meeting guys that I share interests with in the small town in which I live. I mean, this is a very conservative town and I'm a liberal, vegetarian, gay loving, immigrant welcomer.I'm not afraid to talk to guys and guys (generally speaking) find me attractive (enough), it's just after I get practically chastised on a first date for ordering something vegetarian both the guy and I know it's not going anywhere. Ah the excuses I will make for being single.

[img]smileys/smilies_02.gif[/img]

[hippychick]

ARGH! I so get where you are coming from, I once had a guy tell me he was glad I wasn't a 'preachy vegetarian' and then go on to lecture me about how there was NO WAY I could be getting everything I needed as a vegetarian, NO WAY I got enough protein and argued about whether there was iron in spinach (he thought not)

That went well of course No wonder I like girls haha

[carrhart]

Ugh.. I hate people like that (vegetarian haters), since I've been a vegetarian
for almost 6 years now. I find no interest in even being AROUND someone
who doesn't accept and respect my beliefs, let alone date them. Ugh.

Luckily, I live in Chicago. Where most everyone you meet is liberal, so that
helps. It's Obama-town, and all. But I even surpass being a democrat... I'm a
libertarian. Can't get much more left than that.
I blame it on being an artist. [img]smileys/smilies_27.gif[/img]

[hippychick]

I have a girlfriend btw, we have been together for 2 years and living together for 1. My emet doesn't affect our relationship at all as she doesn't put up with me being anxious lol that is not to say she's not completely sympathetic and she helps me when I need help but when I am saying I'm scared and I'm going to throw up she will say stuff like 'I bet you $xx you don't throw up' One time we were in a fancy hotel room and she bet me the cost of the room that I wouldn't get sick, sadly I didn't and I had to pay up lol

I know if I need her when I'm scared or if Ii throw up she will be there for me 100% but she definitely helps me challenge my emet thinking a lot. She doesn't just 'let' me panic.

[jwavrek]

That's good @ hippychick, I'm glad you found someone who's so very supportive of you, It's good to see things positive happening on this forum! (:

[new.slang]

Haha, every time I see this thread I think of the Usher song.

[new.slang]

You make me wanna leave the one I'm with
Start a new relationship with you
This is what you do
Think about her and the things that come along with
You make me
You make me wanna leave the one I'm with
Start a new realtionship with you

[xxglitterxx]

Ah I don't face much vegetarian-hate!
I don't know why, people I meet tend me quite alright with it, I get the occasional "but why!? you're missing out!"


And ergh yes there is definitely iron in spinich. Apparently it's the third most iron-y food according my doctor! Hah.

Anyway. To get back onto the point. I'm single too, I find it hard to go out at all, not just because of emet either, just in general, so I don't meet many people, and the majority of my friends are female.
In an ideal world I'd like a relationship, but in that world I'd also be free from anxiety and all, so for now, I'm concentrating on becoming emotionally independant, and after that, maybe I will be ready and strong enough for a relationship by the time I go to university this year or the year after....Edited by: xxglitterxx

[tallgirl]

I am always nearly single or single!! I get the old, it's nothing to do with you line, but never actually manage to assertain what it is that makes me so unloveable!![img]smileys/smilies_01.gif[/img]

Saying that though, my ex boyfriend finished with me nearly a month ago and I haven't had a panic attack or been scared of being unwell once as I have had that to worry about, maybe not such a bad thing at all!! I have even been drunk and mixing drinks!! Woo hoo!![img]smileys/smilies_10.gif[/img]

[s_bgood]

hahaha new.slang. usher sing along! :P

relationships aren't really a problem for me, but i feel my
last relationship really took a turn for the worst bc of my
emetophobia at times.. a lot of things were wrong but my
emet. left me in my room a lot and not able to do a lot of
thing so he got rly angry. i am currently in a state of
confusion. i still talk to my ex and hes become a different
person recently, but i am too scared to jump back into
things until i see how he acts when he is back home. hes in
md for the summer working and acts differently when hes
in PA so idk, we will have to see. but here come the hard
part, i met this guy after i broke up with my ex and he is
pretty much the type of guy i can see myself falling madly
in love with, but i don't think it would last because of the
way he acts sometimes, a little immature. idk. i just am
way confused and just letting things play out as they go.
not committing to anyone just focusing on myself for now.

[ia2006]

single.

i personally don't think that I would ever be able to be in a successful relationship.I would sabatoge it so Im not even going to try.i wouldn't want to do that to someone else.plus, i wouldnt even be able to sleep in the same bed with someone else.i get anxious at night and cant sleep.i can only sleep when everyone else falls alseep.then i have that "what if" worry about my spouse touching his face and getting a noro virus in his mouth or something and then me kissing him and getting that.

aside from that (which is a huge factor..50% worth) i have other issues.trust issues and such things.

i would really not be that heartbroken though.I wouldnt mind being single for the rest of my life even if i didnt have those issues.and if i find someone that just clicks with me (which will be impossible) then i would have to go on from there.

[missy77]

I am married. He semi understands my emet. He tries his hardest to
be patient with me and all my issues. I guess I got pretty lucky. I've
known him for 8 years. We dated for 6 and got married a year ago. In
all the years I've known him he's only been sick one time and it was
with d* only. We were talking about it the other day and he said he
hasn't v*ed since he was 7 or 8. He's 26 now. I thought that was
interesting.

[tink]

I have a bf of almost 5 years. He tries very hard to understand what i am going through which is all i could ever ask of him. And he has only been sick once, with food poisoning. Pretty good track record, i would say.

Why in the world would anyone have an opinion about what someone else is eating? That is that persons personal decision, and no one elses. I dont get it.

--Kim

[paulinek]

Hi Justin, I had the day off yesterday so only just seen your reply, well i think it's great you are being more assertive and not hanging around with people who are affecting you in a negative way. I know it's an old cliche type of thing about you can't love someone else until you love yourself or something but there is an element of truth in that, and there's nothing wrong with being single while you work through things in your own head. When the times right it will happen, you've many many years ahead of you to find mrs right so don't worry about it! I was very awkward and shy and was convinced i would never even be able to kiss a guy when i was in my teens, it was painful! Anyway with age and various life experiences and alcohol i came out of my shell and have never shut up since haha [img]smileys/smilies_04.gif[/img]

[teh folder]

I am single... Not do to phobia reasons, but the fact I can’t drive. Never got a license and I live in a very country area. You have to drive here unlike the city.

[jwavrek]

I am single... Not do to phobia reasons, but the fact I can�t drive. Never got a license and I live in a very country area. You have to drive here unlike the city.

get your learners permit! I got mine less than a month ago, we can learn to drive together! Lols.