Feel like I’m dying

[kellybeth]

I'm at work and I'm having a panic attack. I have panis attacks all the time. I wonder why every time I have one it feels like this may be the one that pushes me over the edge and kills me.

This morning I was getting into my car to leave for work and my stomach started to feel weird. So I knew I had to go to the bathroom. I felt like I was going to have d*. So for a second I thought I would just go to work and go to the bathroom when I got there. But then my stomach didn't want to wait for me. So I went back in the house and proceeded to have water d*. I came to work still 'recovering' from the d* feelings. Ate an english muffin and some choclate milk. I just took a half of Klonipin for my anxiety. Now I feel like I'm going to have d* again. I have d* all the time so for me it isn't anything new.

But now I'm freaking out at my desk. My heart is racing and I feel like I'm all worked up and sweaty. Everyone is talking around me and they all seem so loud. I just want to go home and hide under my covers untill I feel better. I hate when this happens. Nothing horrible is happing at the moment. I'm just chillin at my desk having a stress free morning but I feel like some sort of impending doom is on its way.

I hate this feeling. I hate being like this. I just hate being.... [img]smileys/smilies_06.gif[/img]

[xxglitterxx]

Ah I'm sorry, can you go for a walk, even around the office or something?
Or go for lunch to get a bit of space?

Hope you're ok!

[sarahlynn]

[img]smileys/smilies_06.gif[/img] aww I'm sorry you're feeling so bad. I hope your day turns around soon. Big hugs!

[sdfl]

Is there any way you can get a breath of fresh air for a moment dear?
Something to help you breath a little easier to get the oxygen flowing back
through your blood?

[kellybeth]

Thanks guys. I do feel better now. I had some lunch and my stomach/body has calmed down. I still get that flutter of anxiety now and then. But it has mostly passed.

Till the next time.... [img]smileys/smilies_11.gif[/img]

[ankitchens]

i have panic attacks a lot as well and i get that feeling all the time....you kinda feel like it should get easier as time goes on and you know the feeling but i know it doesnt. you just have to convince yourself its all in your head, as hard as that is! but good job for going to work and trying to make it through the day, ive lost soooo many jobs by not going in or calling in sick bc of anxiety/panic attacks so thats a step forward =)

hope the rest of your day goes great!!!

[shillelagh]

Frequent d* can be a sign of lactose intolerance.

That's how I wound up dropping out of high school, actually... I'd drink coffee with cream, and eat a bowl of cereal with whole milk every morning before school. By second period, I'd be on my way home.

A few years later, I stopped putting cream in my coffee, and quit eating cereal for breakfast, and it became much, much less constant. XD

Have you ever been checked for it, or tested by not having dairy for a couple of weeks?

[stromko]

I knew I had to read this thread when I saw the title, because that's always how it feels when I get a panic attack.

The fear feels so much worse than death, because at least we can get philosophical about death, and we all have mornings when we wish we could just lay there and sleep forever instead of going to a stressful appointment or work ... we SHOULD be more afraid of death, because fear and anything we're afraid of (anything, even if we're afraid of the SUN or the milky way) is temporary in the cosmic scheme of things and being dead on the other hand is apparently at least permanent.

What helps me is to remember the fear is what's scary, not the stimuli. If you defeat the fear by getting your mind off it, you win, it doesn't matter what else happens.

Given the name of this forum, I'd have to say you had the panic attack because you thought the d* was a sign of a stomach bug. That's the sort of thing that would give me a panic attack too. It's silly because d* happens at the drop of a hat but v* is very rare. I've been ill and had d* hundreds of times in the last ten years thanks to my horrible diet, but v* never again.

Lately I've begun thinking that dry mouth, rumbly belly, or just waking up earlier than usual is a sign of being ill and so every time I get those stimuli I get a panic attack. It's just silly though, none of those things are actually acute symptoms, they're neither cause nor effect.

It's important to do everything you can to break that cycle between stimuli and fear response. I've had to tell myself every day for the last month that those stimuli do not mean I'm unwell, but I had myself so convinced, especially about the waking up early (because that happened in the phobia-inducing episode that started all this), and I've just gotten to where I can beat the panic attack without taking medicine.

Today I woke up at 10:30 AM. That was early, because duh, I went to bed early, and because I knew I had to wake up early to meet an appointment. But the first thought, the first conscious thought I had on waking up was that getting up early meant I was unwell.

That thought brought up all the other feelings, the chills, the shakes, the feeling of actually being unwell. For me, being afraid of being unwell can make me feel very unwell. It hasn't actually caused me to v*, it's been ten years like I said, but it's made me feel like I'm close so many times.

It took me until about 30 minutes ago, and it's 12:05 PM now, to feel that I was over this panic attack. I knew I was getting better at about 11:15 when I had a moment of frivolity and thought even though I was still in the midst of the darkness I could see a shaft of light. I told myself it was like knocking a hole through a wall with a chisel, I was well on my way to freedom and I wouldn't suffocate, but there was still a matter of time before I'd be out. What's important was my mood was getting better, I hadn't felt anywhere near as unwell as when I first woke up, and that all gave me hope.

The original poster did the right thing by recognizing the episode for what it was, a panic attack, and dealing with it as such. We have to realize that our phobia can make us feel really, really incredibly miserable in every way, but it's only a feeling and isn't anything real. Like all things in life, it will pass. You'll even feel so much better for getting through that dark chapter and out the other side.

[kellybeth]

STROMCO SAID :



I knew I was getting better at about 11:15 when I had a moment of frivolity and thought even though I was still in the midst of the darkness I could see a shaft of light. I told myself it was like knocking a hole through a wall with a chisel, I was well on my way to freedom and I wouldn't suffocate, but there was still a matter of time before I'd be out.


YES!!!! That is excatly what it is like! Like you are falling in a hole. It gets worse and worse till you hit the bottom. Then the feelings start to lift and you can start climbing back up. You know you will be out soon but not soon enough.

Well put Stromco. [img]smileys/smilies_13.gif[/img]